anaheim-gazette 1950-05-12

ALFRED I'LL BET YOU MY POP CATCHES A BALL BEFORE YOUR UNCLE ALFRED DOES! GRAB IT. UNCLE ALFRED! KLONK OAKY DOAKS HO, HO! LOOKING FOR YOUR MEN. DUKE? THE JESTERS LOCKED 'EM IN YOUR DUNGEON! WHERE ARE THEY. DOAKS? THIS WHOLE THING FANTASTIC! IT'S N REAL! IT'S--! SCORCHY SMITH YOUR DEVIL DOCTOR LIES TO THE GREAT SULTAN! HIS MAGIC DID NOT DESTROY THE BIRD MACHINE! YOUR DEVIL DOCTOR IS A HYENA WITH LESS MAGIC THAN A PIG! AIEE! YOUR WORDS SEAL OUR DOOM, EFFEND!! THEY'LL KILL US ANYWAY! MORE TALK - MORE TIME! SCORCHY SMITH YOUR DEVIL DOCTOR LIES TO THE GREAT SULTAN! HIS MAGIC DID NOT DESTROY THE BIRD MACHINE! YOUR DEVIL DOCTOR IS A HYENA WITH LESS MAGIC THAN A PIG! AIEE! YOUR WORDS SEAL OUR DOOM, EFFEND!!! THEY'LL KILL US ANYWAY! MORE TALK - MORE TIME! DICKIE DARE WELL, WAGS, WE DID IT! DAN CHANGED HIS CLOTHES-RUSHED OFF AGAIN- HE'S SIX FEET UNDER IN LOVE! IF ONLY HE'S PICKED SOMEONE WHO'LL LOOK AFTER HIM TH' WAY I DO! BUT DANS A SMART MAN - HE MUST HAVE FIGGERED THAT ANGL HE'S FOUND SOME HOMEY LIL MOUSE - HEY! THE ADVENTURES OF PATSY SEE YOU TOMORROW PATSY! HOPE YOU SWING A BIG DEAL THAT'LL MAKE A FORTUNE FOR YOU AND CHUCKY! MISS JULIE SEEMED SORT OF NERVOUS! BUT GUESS SHE JUST HAS THAT "IT'S TOO-GOOD-TO-BE-TRUE" FEELING! OH, DIANA! ...AND ARMS ABOVE YOUR HEAD...BEND, ONE, TWO, ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETC-ETHIQ RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, ETC-ETC-ETC-- KICK, ONE, TWO, ETC-ETC-ETC-- OH, DIANA! ...AND ARMS ABOVE YOUR HEAD...BEND, ONE, TWO, ETC-ETC-ETC-- RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, ETC-ETC-ETC-- KICK, ONE, TWO, ETC-ETC-ETC-- TOONERVILLE FOLKS Fontaine Fox KEEN TEER EVENT OF THE WEEK GRANDPA FLINT, THE BRUTE! WAS CAUGHT TRYING TO RAKE THAT BIRD NEST (WITH EGGS IN IT!) OUT OF THE MAIL BOX. 5-12-50 Jack Taylor HE BROKE THE 1,500-METER FREE-SPAN AMERICAN RECORD BY 21 SECONDS! THEN HE TURNED ON HIS BACK AND BEAT 11-YEAR-OLD BACK SCREEN RECORD! JACK IS A HIS STUDIES ALSO. KLONK SLAP! OTTO WANTS HIS NICKEL, UNCLE ALFRED! CARL RYMAN COPYRIGHT 1950 MICHAEL NEWSPAPER SYNDICATION WHERE'S THAT BROTHER OF MINE? HE FIXED THIS CLOCK AND NOW IT RUNS BACKWARDS! UNCLE ALFRED BROKE MY MUSICAL TOP TRYING TO MAKE IT PLAY A DIFFERENT TUNE! THIS WHOLE THING IS FANTASTIC! IT'S NOT REAL! IT'S--! YOU'LL THINK IT'S REAL WHEN I PUT YOU IN THE DUNGEON, TOO! THEY'LL KILL US ANYWAY! MORE TALK - MORE TIME! THEN COMMAND YOUR BIRD MACHINE TO APPEAR NOW! OR OUR SPEARS WILL SMOTHER YOUR CAMP!...BUT WE WILL TAKE YOU - ALIVE!! SUCH A MAN! ALWAYS MEDDLING INTO EVERY-THING! HE SCRRE EXPE WHY HE YOU INSULT OUR DEVIL DOCTOR! THE PENALTY IS SLOW DEATH!...OR PROVE YOUR MAGIC IS STRONGER! THEY'LL KILL US ANYWAY! MORE TALK - MORE TIME! THEN COMMAND YOUR BIRD MACHINE TO APPEAR NOW! OR OUR SPEARS WILL SMOTHER YOUR CAMP! BUT WE WILL TAKE YOU - ALIVE!! YOU INSULT OUR DEVIL DOCTOR! THE PENALTY IS SLOW DEATH! OR PROVE YOUR MAGIC IS STRONGER! THE BIRD MACHINE APPEAR! THE FOUND SOME HOMEY LIL MOUSE-HEY! A LONG CURLY HAIR AN' ITS BRIGHT RED! THERE ARE RED-HAIRED MICE, WAGS! THWILD KINDDAN HATES DISH-WASHIN' EVEN WORSE THAN I DO THAT'S WHY HE MUST MARRY A HOMETYPE GAL MISS JULIE SEEMED SORT OF NERVOUS! BUT GUESS SHE JUST HAS THAT "IT'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE" FEELING! The EVENING Press WRECKAGE FOUND OCCUPANT MISSING FROM SCENE The Compass MYSTERY CRASH! JEEPERS! A TRAILER PUPPET THEATRE, IT SAYS! WHY... DESCRIPT THAT WA BY "STR OH, KICK, ONE, TWO, ETC-ETC-ETC-- ...WASN'T THAT FUN? NOW, THE NEXT EXERCISE ETC-ETC-ETC- KICK, ONE, TWO, ETC-ETC-ETC... ...WASN'T THAT FUN? NOW, THE NEXT EXERCISE ETC-ETC-ETC... KEEN TEENS By Stoookie Allen NEW CHAMP AT THE NATIONAL COLLEGIATE SWIMMING CHAMPIONSHIPS IN COLUMBUS, OHIO, THIS OHIO STATE SOPHOMORE RAN AWAY WITH THE MEET. ONLY 19, THE LANKY LAD COVERS THE LENGTH OF A POOL IN ONLY 14-LONG STROkes! Jack Taylor I NEVER WORRY ABOUT YOU BEING ELIGIBLE, JACK. HE BROKE THE 1,500-METER FREE-STYLE AMERICAN RECORD BY 21 SECONDS! THEN HE TURNED ON HIS BACK AND BEAT AN 11-YEAR-OLD BACK STROKE RECORD! JACK IS A STAR IN HIS STUDIES ALSO. HIT N' RUN TUNNEL OF LOVE NO.3 Pham AP Newsletter SUCH A MAN! ALWAYS MEDDLING INTO EVERYTHING! HE AND HIS SCREWBALL EXPERIMENTS! WHY DOESN'T HE GET A STEADY JOB? AND NEXT DOOR I'VE BEEN WAITING THREE HOURS FOR ALFRED! WHERE CAN HE BE? BEEDS • GARDENS THIS PLANT FED BY "MYSTO" FERTILIZER WATCH IT GROW! BOOM! PLEASE! PUT ME IN THE DUNGEON TOO, DOAKS! I CAN'T STAND THIS INFERNAL NOISE! THE BIRD MACHINE WILL NOT APPEAR! THE ROCK DIGGER WASTES TIME! AIM YOUR SPEARS! GEE, POP! THIS IS GRAND! YOU ORGANIZED A RECEPTION COMMITTEE FOR US! THE BIRD MACHINE WILL NOT APPEAR! THE ROCK DIGGER WASTES TIME! AIM YOUR SPEARS! GEE, POP! THIS IS GRAND! YOU ORGANIZED A RECEPTION COMMITTEE FOR US! ALLEYOOP! THIS IS RIGHT UP MY ALLEY! BLISSE, I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO SAY--BUT, THIS WATER SKIING-- THIS IS MUCH BETTER I'M ALL COMFY. GO AHEAD. WHY... IT FITS THE DESCRIPTION OF ONE THAT WAS OPERATED BY "STRINGS" ROYAL--OH, NO! I HAD HOPED NEVER TO SEE YOU AGAIN "STRINGS"! NOW THAT'S A DOWNRIGHT UNGRATEFUL THING FOR A PUPIL TO SAY TO THE OLD MASTER! LOOKIT TH' FLOWERS I PAINTED, COSSIIN DIANA. ER- OH, MY... THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, SUSIE... YOU THED IT. THEY REALLY THMELL! LOOK IT TH' FLOWERS I PAINTED, COUSIN DIANA. ER- OH, MY... THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, SUSIE... YOU TRED IT.. THEY REALLY THMELL! HIT N' RUN UNFAIR TO LOCAL 89 NUMAN CANNONBALL UNION