oc-plain-dealer 1922-02-17

ALL FOR YOU BEST PLACE ON EARTH TO BUY SHOES FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY EVERY DAY IN THE YEAR. Kafateria Shoe Store 109 W: Center St. Anaheim, Calif. BETTER PEOPLE BUICK ANAHEIM AUTO CO Win Goodrum Prop ANAHEIM FULLERTON Buick Distributors for Northern Orange County OWN 'EM ANAHEIM AUTO CO Win Goodrum Prop ANAHEIM FULLERTON Buick Distributors for Northern Orange County OWN 'EM For Good Buys — IN — VALENCIA ORANGE GROVES, BUSINESS PROPERTY, RESIDENCE PROPERTY SEE THE J. T. LYON REALTY COMPANY 111 N. Los Angeles St. Phone 46 Let 'Em Rear WE CAN FIX 'EM Torres & Terry 252 N. Los Angeles St. WE CAN FIX 'EM Torres & Terry 252 N. Los Angeles St. General Auto Repairing—All Work Guaranteed PAIGE SERVICE STATION Where DO WE GO FROM HERE? FISCHLE Confectionery 118 W. Center St. Phone 23W Of Course THE ANAHEIM NATIONAL BANK Anaheim California The Young Man's Bank Young men in this community who have ambitions to do things will find here a spirit of friendly interest and helpful co-operation. As a permanent institution, this bank invites your business, and in return has a definite service to offer you—safety, accuracy and promptness, with a personal service that will work well with your plans and ambitions for a larger success. OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS WM. A. DOLAN, President JOHN H. WENTS, Vice-President A. B. McCORD, Cashier ROSS L. PHEGLEY, Asst. Cashier D. JESSURUN J. J. DWYER F. C. RIMPAU B. FISHER THE KIDDIES' FASHION PARADE IN "PURPLE FLASHES" WHAT WOMAN IS MADE OF (By Jack Doty) According to a Hindu legend, Twashtri, the god Vulean of the Hindu mythology, created the world, but on his commencing to create woman he discovered that he had used up all his materials. Nevertheless, he realised that this world without woman would be like a cigar without tobacco. So he took— The roundness of the moon. The undulating curve of the serpent. The graceful twist of the creeping plant. The slenderness of the willow. The velvet of the flowers. The lightness of the feather. The gentle gaze of the doe. The frolicsome reflection of the dancing sunbeam. The tears of the cloud. The inconsistency of the wind. The timidity of the hare. The vanity of the peatock. The hardness of the diamond. The chill of the snow. The cooing of the turtle dove. All these he mixed together and formed a woman. MEDICAL DEPARTMENT (By Dr. Laurie) Oh Doctor: What will cure Fat Weadon. Answer—Nothing. Dear Doc: What will prevent dandruff from falling on my coat collar?—Sidney Prince. Answer—Cut the collar off. Dear Doc: What's good for a floating kidney?—Vic La Mont. Answer—Anchor it. IN A DRUG STORE Girl—Mr. Buck, can you fix me some castor oil so that I can't taste it? Mr. Buck—Sure. You better sit down and have a soda while you wait. Girl (after drinking soda)—Have you the castor oil all ready? SOMEBODY PLEASE PASS THE APPLES (Geo. Peck) When every pool in Eden was a mirror That unto Eve her dainty charms preclaimed, She went undraped without a single fear, or Thought she had need to be ashamed. 'Twas only when she'd eaten of the apple That she became inclined to be a prude. And found that evermore she'd have to grapple With the much-debated problem of the nude. Thereafter she devoted her attention; Her time and all her money to her clothes. And that was the beginning of Convention, And Modesty, as well, I suppose. Reaction came about in fashion recent; Now girls conceal so little from the men. It would seem in the name of all that's decent. Some one ought to pass the apples 'round again. HER PROBLEM (By Ernest Zitzman) She found herself alone in a great city. Her first problem was "How to Remain Beautiful Though Poor." But before she had been there a month, the problem was changed to "How to Remain Poor Though Beautiful." One of the old timers in Anaheim, is Joe Wagner. He came here twenty-five years ago with $5. A year ago he was worth $25,000. This was partly due to having a rich relative leave him $24,995. Last year he invested his money in Mid-Central Oil stock and if things keep looking as good as they have in the oil field by next month he should be worth as much as he was worth $25,000. WARNING TO OUR AUDIENCE (By "Stormy" Gorden) Those attending the show will kindly refrain from making inquiries les of ushers regarding the identity of actors. These can be secured of the chief of police. Those desiring to present flower to the performers will please hand them to the ushers, announcing in loud voice who they are for, and what the provocation is. Those attending the show will kindly refrain from placing explosives in the decorative bouquet thrown at the actors. They (the actors) are well protected, but not safe with those in the audience. "All right back there?" called the conductor from the busa. "Hold on," came a feminine voice "wait till I get my clothes on." The entire carfull turned their heads expectantly. A girl got on with a basket of laundry. The latest decree of fashion is that the parasol must match the bathing suit. Woe be unto her who loses her para—well, anyhow, isn't the weather just too lovely? —Geo. Prince. There once was a girl named Maud Who they say was a great social fraude; In the ballroom, I'm told. She was hauty and cold. But alone on the sofa—oh, laude! —Arch Hawkins. Dear Mr. Editor—Why are so few babies born in June? Curiously, MAURICE FORD. Ans.—Gosh darned if we know Asked Aviator Marks, the lawyer, and he don't know, either. Am referring letter to Lydia Pinkham. Vic Loy was bringing a prospect in by Santa Ana Canyon, and while Vic was raving about the beautiful scenery, the prospect remarked IN A DRUG STORE Girl—Mr. Buck, can you fix me some castor oil so that I can't taste it? Mr. Buck—Sure. You better sit down and have a soda while you wait. Girl (after drinking soda)—Have you the castor oil all ready? Mr. Buck—You've already taken it. I put it in the soda so you wouldn't taste it. Girl—What? Good Lord, I wanted it for my brother! THE NEAR OMAR (By Ernest Borchard) A book of verse beneath the bough. A case of wine, a keg of beer and How? What's that you said, That loaf of bread? Nix on the loaf, a slice of bread's snow! "What do you think has come over my husband this morning, Maggie?" exclaimed Mrs. Herman Stern to the new maid. "I never saw him start down town so happy. He was whistling like a bird." Maid—I'm afraid I can't blame him, mum. I got the package mixed and gave him birdseed instead of his regular breakfast food." If you like this paper, frame it. It won't come again. Joe Farrell Trying His New Machine "Oootie" But before she had been there a month, the problem was changed to "How to Remain Poor Though Beautiful." One of the old timers in Anaheim, is Joe Wagner. He came here twenty-five years ago with $5. A year ago he was worth $25,000. This was partly due to having a rich relative leave him $24,995. Last year he invested his money in Mid-Central Oil stock and if things keep looking as good as they have in the oil field by next month he should be worth as much as he was when coming to our fair city. Voice on the phone: "Is this Mr. A. Bevillard? I want to get a copper coil." Andy—"How long do you want it?" Fred James—"Oh, bead it in proper shape and I'll keep it." Sam Newens—Hello, James Tuffree, where have you been? James Tuffree—To see my people. Sam—Ah, and how did you find them? James—Quite easily — I know where they lived. Fashion Found Wanting—Policeman A. W. Wood. "Lost yer mammy,ave yet? Why didn't yer keep hold of her skirt?" Little Boy: "I cou-cou-couldn't reach it." Rudy Wetzel—"You look sweet enough to eat." She—"I do eat; where shall we go?" Doc Barnes—"Say, Fay, why don't you ever go to church? Fay Lewis—"Because they don't treat me right. Do you know, the first time I went to church they threw water in my face." Doc—"Yes!" Fay—"And the second time they threw rice in my face." Doc—"Yes, and the next time you go they'll throw dirt in your face." Jack Cole will hand you this in the Elks' Show: "Awake, awake, the dawn is here; the air is full of atmosphere; on you Hawaiian boo lae ukulele smiles at me. Far down the vale a flock of cheese, lifts up its face to greet the breeze; what song is that! My heart be still." "Tis the voice of a little liver pill. O can it be or is it not? It is, it is, as in the days of yore, we find that two and two are four." Henry Guffrel did not get home at the usual time and his wife became greatly worried. After waiting till midnight and knowing that Henry had many friends among his brother Elks, she sent half a dozen telegrams asking: "Have you seen anything of Alvin?" About 2 o'clock Henry came in and a few minutes later the telegrams began to arrive, all to the effect. "Yes, Henry is spending the night with me." JOT THIS DOWN! “Purple Flashes” The Best of Shows Kuppenheimer Suits The Best of Clothes SEE BOTH Kustiner's ANAHEIM Tiffany’s Have Nothing on Barney Hartfield THEY MAY BE BIGGER BUT NO BETTER Anything from a Thimble to a Diamond. NIFTY PRESENTS FOR THE ELK AND HIS “DEAR” Remember, “Bill,” an Elk’s Tooth Is Your Principal “Charm” COMPLETE STOCK OF PINS AND CHARMS NIFTY PRESENTS FOR THE ELK AND HIS "DEAR" Remember, "Bill," an Elk's Tooth Is Your Principal "Charm" COMPLETE STOCK OF PINS AND CHARMS After the Show Drop in WEADON'S Confectionery For Your After-Theater Refreshments. The Home of Homemade Candies 159 West Center St. Say Bill! One of the Song Hits in the show is "A Cottage for Two" And when you are ready for that cottage, "Bill," we want to sell the lumber to you. "A Cottage for Two" And when you are ready for that cottage, "Bill," we want to sell the lumber to you. Ganahl Lumber Company 501 East Center St. Phone 35 VALENCIA ORANGE GROVES Where climate is ideal, a pleasant place to live; where an investment in oranges is a guarantee of a crop every year. That is what Anaheim has to offer. We are prepared to discuss real estate matters of every kind, and we had rather lose your business than your confidence. Our slogan is "Service," with fidelity and honesty of purpose. HARGROVE REALTY COMPANY 109 East Center St. CITY INSURANCE LOANS PROPERTY INVESTMENTS