anaheim-gazette 1931-06-25

THE ANAHEIM GAZETTE HENRY KUCHEL, Editor and Publisher ESTABLISHED 1870 ISSUED EVERY THURSDAY SUBSCRIPTION PER YEAR $2.00 SIX MONTHS 1.00 Entered at the Anaheim, California Postoffice as second-class matter. UNCLE SAM'S LONG ARM Your Uncle Sam, impersonator of the United States Government, kindly and fatherly as he is to most Americans, has a long arm and a longer memory, in bringing to time those who offend against his rules and regulations he has made as a basis of American citizenship. He stores in his memory recollections of these offenders and through his Secret Service reaches out his long arm and gathers them in, often when they least expect it. You can not counterfeit his money, misuse his mails, dodge income taxes, or with immunity break his laws against temperance, but somewhere and sometime, if you keep up these practices, he will nab you, and the chances are that if you do or do not escape going to one of his prisons, it will be at a cost of much if not all your illegal financial gains. Uncle Sam, after years of patience and watchfulness, is making a shining example of one of these culprits—Al Capone by name. Capone, if he is guilty of all the crimes charged against him and his gangsters, is due for a long stay in some Federal prison for short-changing Uncle Sam on income taxes and violations of the Volstead Act. It has taken some years to do it, with the help of the sleuths of the Secret Service, but at last the long arm of Uncle Sam has gathered Capone in, and the whole nation is on the tiptoe of expectancy as to how long Capone is to wear prison stripes and if his supposed fortune is to be wrecked. But Uncle Sam has apparently done much more than bring Al Capone to time. He has thrown a genuine scare into all men who wear the Capone brand of law violators, and the finish of Once Sam, after years of patience and watchfulness, is making a shining example of one of these culprits—Al Capone by name. Capone, if he is guilty of all the crimes charged against him and his gangsters, is due for a long stay in some Federal prison for short-changing Uncle Sam on income taxes and violations of the Volstead Act. It has taken some years to do it, with the help of the sleuths of the Secret Service, but at last the long arm of Uncle Sam has gathered Capone in, and the whole nation is on the tiptoe of expectancy as to how long Capone is to wear prison stripes and if his supposed fortune is to be wrecked. But Uncle Sam has apparently done much more than bring Al Capone to time. He has thrown a genuine scare into all men who wear the Capone brand of law violators, and the finish of Capone may be taken as a warning to all evil doers. It is foolish for some Americans to say that Uncle Sam is not enforcing the Volstead Act and the Eighteenth amendment. They say that he cannot do it. They might as well say that he has not run the makers of counterfeit money into their holes, and when one of them ventures out, Uncle Sam soon finds out, reaches out his long arm and gathers the offender in. Transgress the postal laws, and sooner or later a postal inspector will nab you. Breaking Uncle Sam’s rules and regulations may be done one time, or several times, but it is not safe or profitable to make a habit of it, which Al Capone is finding out. TIME TO BEGIN SPENDING This is the time to begin putting money back into circulation. There is more money in bank, subject to the checks of individuals, than at any previous time in our national history. It is lying there because its owners have been waiting for the business situation to “touch bottom.” All the indications now are that it has touched bottom and has begun to rise. At the moment, retail prices of every sort of commodity are lower than they have been since the days before the war. A dollar will buy as much of almost everything today as a dollar and a half would buy two years ago. The reduction in the price of raw materials is now being fully reflected in the price of manufactured goods to the consumer. There may never be another opportunity, in the lifetime of most of us, to make a dollar go as far as it will go today. We would never advise anybody to go contrary to Benjamin Franklin’s wise counsel, when he said: “Never buy anything you don’t want merely because it is cheap.” But we know that thousands of people in this community and vicinity have been putting off buying things which they really want, believing that they would go lower. We feel justified in saying to those people that the time has come for them to buy. Business in general is beginning to pick up rapidly. We can’t tell how far up it is going, and probably we shall not have another such “boom” as we had three and four years ago—at least not right away. But with business picking up even appreciably, money for wages and materials getting back into circulation, the number of buyers will increase and the law of supply and demand will attend to sending retail prices upward again. If ever the advice to “buy now” was good, it is tdoay. IMPORTANCE OF 4-H CLUBS One of the most important organizations in the United States, which is growing rapidly in importance and in influence, has recently held its convention in Washington, D.C. There IMPORTANCE OF 4-H CLUBS One of the most important organizations in the United States, which is growing rapidly in importance and in influence, has recently held its convention in Washington, D. C. There were two boys, two girls and two 4-H club leaders from each state. They lived in tents on the grounds of the Department of Agriculture, to exchange ideas about what? About the future farmers of the United States and their wives. That is the most important thing for our country's future. There can't be any question about it. Nothing that happens to the generation that is now passing is of great importance; what is really important to the welfare of the nation is the character, the integrity, the standards and the ideals of the generation which is about to take up the reins where we older ones are beginning to drop them. And, so far as the agricultural and rural life of the United States is concerned, the destiny of the nation lies in the hands of these boys and girls, and those they represent. There are nearly a million of them now in the 4-H Clubs. Nearly a million farm boys and girls pledged to devote Head, Heart, Hands and Health to the making of better farms, better farm homes, better communities, better conditions for everybody. They are making better citizens out of themselves in the process, too. These boys and girls of today will be the leaders of tomorrow. They will lead better than their predecessors did, because they have a better training, a better understanding of the really important things of life—most of all because in their 4-H Clubs they have been taught the need and the significance of teamwork, of cooperation for the common good. All of the palliative remedies for hard times and the other ills that beset us are of no permanent avail. Nothing can carry our nation on to the goal of permanent peace and continuous prosperity, of complete freedom for everybody to work out his and her own destiny with unimpaired opportunity, but the training of the young people to think clearly, to work hard, to keep their bodies sound and their hearts uplifted with the joy of creative achievement. That is the sort of training the boys and girls of the 4-H clubs are getting, and that is why we say that their annual pilgrimage to Washington is of immensely greater significance than all the palaverings of all the statesmen, humanitarians and politicians that have ever been held there. ANAHEIM GAZETTE First Woman Bank Head Mrs Matilda B. Wilson is chairman of the board of a $12,000,000 Detroit bank. Back in Politics Col. House, who is generally credited with making Woodrow Wilson president, has come out for Gov. Roosevelt. Frog Pond Graduate Ed Kressy, New York artist, now doing comic strips of American boy life, learned to dive in an old swimming hole in Ohio. Short Essays On Popular Topics THE AMERICAN EAGLE By DR. FRANCIS H. HERRICK Biologist of Western Reserve University. The choice of a national emblem could hardly have been more appropriate than in the case of the American eagle. A true native of America, the white-headed or bald eagle ranges over nearly the whole of the North American continent. In action the eagle is the true "king of birds." Whether soaring and circling far above the earth or plunging like a meteor from the sky, whether screaming defiance at the storm or fiercely striking his prey, he has seemed the very embodiment of freedom and power. GERMANY'S GREAT SPRING Germany's biggest spring, which is seldom visited by tourists, pours forth about 100,000,000 gallons of water a day, according to the tourist information office of the German National Railways. The huge volume of water comes from the Rhunesprung near Rhunspringe on the railroad from Herzberg to Dielehrode in the Harz mountains. The spring is not far from the 1,000-year-old community of Poehide, formerly Palathi, where King Henry I is said to have become Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire in 919. Henry presented the Edelhof palace with its surrounding lands to Queen Mathilde for the creation of a cloister. Relics of the history of the ancient town are preserved in the Guelph Museum in Hanover. The Rhine river rises in a small valley, not far from Poehide. Hundreds of springs in a small pond form the source of the river. The water always rises at a temperature of 50 degrees Fahrenheit. The water furnishes power for factories and mills. Bruce Barton Looks at Ways of Life THE THREE D'S There have been many serious conferences in this year of tough business and recently I attended one of them. The problem was whether a certain industry, which was encountering difficulties, could be kept going. Three men spoke; their remarks were about as follows: First Man: Conditions are much worse than anybody is willing to admit. Car loadings are off; steel production is flat; the automobile industry is on its back; every business barometer points down. You can argue that the country big faced the same situation before and has come through. But this is different. Now America is a world power, dependent on world markets. Wherever you look in the world you see nothing but trouble. I think that any enterprise... could hardly have been more appropriate than in the case of the American eagle. A true native of America, the white-headed or bald eagle ranges over nearly the whole of the North American Continent. In action the eagle is the true "king of birds," Whether soaring and circling far above the earth or plunging like a meteor from the sky, whether screaming defiance at the storm or fiercely striking his prey, he has seemed the very embodiment of freedom and power to men of every age. His effigy has been emblazoned on the chariots of warriors and shields of knights or, raised aloft on poles and banners, has followed legions into battle from the days of Marius to those of Napoleon and the World War. In its structure and habits the eagle is a large hawk, of close kin of the falcons and buzzards, but the biggest, boldest and most powerful of them all. The female, which in the American eagle is the larger sex, may attain a length of 43 inches, spread 8 feet and weigh from eight to twelve ponds. It is a stranger to fatigue, can probably lift its own weight and has been known to carry a lamb over a distance of five miles. Our eagle is content to subsist upon fish whenever there is an ample supply, but it is too fond of chicken dinners, mutton chops and suckling pigs ever to become popular in rural communities. All eagles, like many of the hawks when wounded or hard pressed will fight like demons. We might expect them to fight to protect their young, but while some will do this others will not. Trusting its young to the inaccessibility of their nest, it usually keeps at a safe distance whenever this is approached. But should the home be placed low or in more remote region the marauder will do well to watch his step or he may meet with the surprise of his life. Like the she bear, the eagle often will defend its young, and in attack it is a swift and formidable adversary. The monarch of the air is the greatest homekeeper if his class. His cyrie is his castle. In it his cavalry spend the first ten weeks of their life—from mid-April until early July; It is also the rendezvous, lookout point and dining table for the parents during the remainder of the year. Probably the most remarkable cyrie in the entire country stood until March 1925, in the dead top of a shellbark hickory near Vermont, Ohio. These eagles had grown up with the country and had a history which could be traced back for more than eighty years. Shaped like a giant ice cream cone, this great nest was 12 feet high, 8 feet across its flat top and towered 81 feet above the ground. It offered such a good opportunity for an intimate study of the home life of the eagle that two observatories were created in if large 100-foot elm near by. The upper choice of a national emblem could hardly have been more appropriate than in the case of the American eagle. A true native of America, the white-headed or bald eagle ranges over nearly the whole of the North American Continent. In action the eagle is the true "king of birds," Whether soaring and circling far above the earth or plunging like a meteor from the sky, whether screaming defiance at the storm or fiercely striking his prey, he has seemed the very embodiment of freedom and power to men of every age. His effigy has been emblazoned on the chariots of warriors and shields of knights or, raised aloft on poles and banners, has followed legions into battle from the days of Marius to those of Napoleon and the World War. In its structure and habits the eagle is a large hawk, of close kin of the falcons and buzzards, but the biggest, boldest and most powerful of them all. The female, which in the American eagle is the larger sex, may attain a length of 43 inches, spread 8 feet and weigh from eight to twelve ponds. It is a stranger to fatigue, can probably lift its own weight and has been known to carry a lamb over a distance of five miles. Our eagle is content to subsist upon fish whenever there is an ample supply, but it is too fond of chicken dinners, mutton chops and suckling pigs ever to become popular in rural communities. All eagles, like many of the hawks when wounded or hard pressed will fight like demons. We might expect them to fight to protect their young, but while some will do this others will not. Trusting its young to the inaccessibility of their nest, it usually keeps at a safe distance whenever this is approached. But should the home be placed low or in more remote region the marauder will do well to watch his step or he may meet with the surprise of his life. Like the she bear, the eagle often will defend its young, and in attack it is a swift and formidable adversary. The monarch of the air is the greatest homekeeper if his class. His cyrie is his castle. In it his cavalry spend the first ten weeks of their life—from mid-April until early July; It is also the rendezvous, lookout point and dining table for the parents during the remainder of the year. Probably the most remarkable cyrie in the entire country stood until March 1925, in the dead top of a shellbark hickory near Vermont, Ohio. These eagles had grown up with the country and had a history which could be traced back for more than eighty years. Shaped like a giant ice cream cone, this great nest was 12 feet high, 8 feet across its flat top and towered 81 feet above the ground. It offered such a good opportunity for an intimate study of the home life of the eagle that two observatories were created in if large 100-foot elm near by. The upper choice of a national emblem could hardly have been more appropriate than in the case of the American eagle. A true native of America, the white-headed or bald eagle ranges over nearly the whole of the North American Continent. In action the eagle is the true "king of birds," Whether soaring and circling far above the earth or plunging like a meteor from the sky, whether screaming defiance at the storm or fiercely striking his prey, he has seemed the very embodiment of freedom and power to men of every age. His effigy has been emblazoned on the chariots of warriors and shields of knights or, raised aloft on poles and banners, has followed legions into battle from the days of Marius to those of Napoleon and the World War. In its structure and habitats the eagle is a large hawk, of close kin of the falcons and buzzards, but the biggest, boldest and most powerful of them all. The female, which in the American eagle is the larger sex, may attain a length of 43 inches, spread 8 feet and weigh from eight to twelve ponds. It is a stranger to fatigue, can probably lift its own weight and has been known to carry a lamb over a distance of five miles. Our eagle is content to subsist upon fish whenever there is an ample supply, but it is too fond of chicken dinners, mutton chops and suckling pigs ever to become popular in rural communities. All eagles, like many of the hawks when wounded or hard pressed will fight like demons. We might expect them to fight to protect their young, but while some will do this others will not. Trusting its young to the inaccessibility of their nest, it usually keeps at a safe distance whenever this is approached. But should the home be placed low or in more remote region the marauder will do well to watch his step or he may meet with the surprise of his life. Like the she bear, the eagle often will defend its young, and in attack it is a swift and formidable adversary. The monarch of the air is the greatest homekeeper if his class. His cyrie is his castle. In it his cavalry spend the first ten weeks of their life—from mid-April until early July; It is also the rendezvous, lookout point and dining table for the parents during the remainder of the year. Probably the most remarkable cyrie in the entire country stood until March 1925, in the dead top of a shellbark hickory near Vermont, Ohio. These eagles had grown up with the country and had a history which could be traced back for more than eighty years. Shaped like a giant ice cream cone, this great nest was 12 feet high, 8 feet across its flat top and towered 81 feet above the ground. It offered such a good opportunity for an intimate study of the home life of the eagle that two observatories were created in if large 100-foot elm near by. The upper choice of a national emblem could hardly have been more appropriate than in the case of the American eagle. A true native of America, the white-headed or bald eagle ranges over nearly the whole of the North American Continent. In action the eagle is the true "king of birds," Whether soaring and circling far above the earth or plunging like a meteor from the sky, whether screaming defiance at the storm or fiercely striking his prey, he has seemed the very embodiment of freedom and power to men of every age. Itselfy has been emblazoned on the chariots of warriors and shields of knights or, raised aloft on poles and banners, has followed legions into battle from the days of Marius to those of Napoleon and the World War. In its structure and habitats the eagle is a large hawk, of close kin of the falcons and buzzards, but the biggest, boldest and most powerful of them all. The female, which in the American eagle is the larger sex, may attain a length of 43 inches, spread 8 feet and weigh from eight to twelve ponds. It is a stranger to fatigue, can probably lift its own weight and has been known to carry a lamb over a distance of five miles. Our eagle is content to subsist upon fish whenever there is an ample supply, but it is too fond of chicken dinners, mutton chops and suckling pigs ever to become popular in rural communities. All eagles, like many ofthe hawks when wounded or hard pressed will fight like demons. We might expect them to fight to protect their young, but while some will do this others will not. Trusting its young tothe inaccessibilityof their nest it usually needisplentyoftimetogetallthe factsandtalkeveryneedwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightwearerightweareright Second Man: I disagree with everything that has been said. This depression isn't different from a hundred others that have preceded it. Always people lose hope just whenthe turnis aboutto come. Alwaysitis arguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfromahundredothersthathaveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfromahundredothersthathaveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfromahundredothersthathaveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfromahundredothersthathaveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfromahundredothersthathaveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfromahundredothersthathaveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfromahundredothersthathaveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfromahundredothersthathaveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfromahundredothersthathaveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfromahundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthistimedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat" conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat"conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat" conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat" conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat" conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisarguedthat" conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisargued that" conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisargued that" conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisargued that" conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisargued that" conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alwaysitisargued that" conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.Alwayspeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.always它arguedthat" conditionsthis timedifferentfroma Hundredothers that haveprecededit.AlWAYSpeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alWAYSpeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alWAYSpeoplelosehopejustwhentheturnisabouttocome.alWAYSpeoplelosehopejustwhentheturn是abouttocome.alWAYSpeoplelosehopejustwhentheturn是abouttocome.alWAYSpeoplelosehopejustwhentheturn是abouttocome.alWAYSpeoplelosehopejustwhentheturn是abouttocome.alWAYSpeoplelosehopejustwhentheturn是abouttocome.alWAYSpeopleloseHOWeAreNotGivingAnythingButTheTurnIsAboutToCome.AltogetherThereAreNoPossibleCases.InWhichOneAreYou?IfSomeOfOurModernPacifistsHadBeenAtValleyForgeWithGeorgeWashingtonTheyWouldHaveAdvisedHimToRunUpTheWhiteFlagAndQuilt,BecauseArmedResistanceIs“inexcusable.”OfCourseTheModernFillingStationIsAnArtisticImprovementButWeStillLongOnceInAwhileForTheSoundOfTheMeadow Probably the most remarkable cycle in the entire country stood until March, 1925, in the dead top of a shellbark hickory near Vermillion, Ohio. These eagles had grown up with the country and had a history which could be traced back for more than eighty years. Shaped like a giant ice cream cone, this great nest was 12 feet high, 8½ feet across its flat top and towered 51 feet above the ground. It offered such a good opportunity for an intimate study of the home life of the eagle that two observatories were erected in if large 100-foot elm near by. The upper platform was capped by a khaki tent to hide the observers from the eagles' eyes. We have some organization. We need more. The illiterate is being reached in many places. He is going to school and school is going to him. It is my belief that Americans will renew their energy in extending a helping hand to our millions of unfortunate who can neither read nor write. The illiterate is gaining civic self-confidence and is developing pride which enchains him to the isolation of ignorance. With your help we shall have fulfilled our civic duty only when illiteracy is made negligible in this nation. Of course the modern filling station is an artistic improvement but we still once in awhile for the sound of the old village blacksmith's hammer, and the odor of burned leather instead of gasoline. OBSERVATIONS HELLO, OLD TIMER HOW'S TRICKS? "Say, Mister, can you help a feller who is hungry? Just drifted in from the border and am headed for the Boulder dam." KEEP HOME FIRES BURNING Next to the folly of arguing about prohis-h-s-s-ion is the serial story in the paper telling how the World war started and what came out of it. MEBBE THEY ARE STILL ON A DIET Report from town up-state: "People buy more cars than groceries." That perhaps can be explained. It is easier to ride on an empty stomach than walk. COMING IN ON SCHEDULE During a trial where two gals were principals the court speeded up proceedings quite a bit by admonishing all hands to cut out the mudslinging and washing of the linen. BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL Speaking of this and that if you take the members' separate reports you might think that "tuck" had it, and then again it looks like "nip" had the edge. When you take their reports, collectively, you get so tangled up in the haywire that it makes a fella feel as though they had quite a time with the noble experience. AND THEN IT WAS PUT ON THE SHELF The ink had hardly dried on that report before rumors flew thick and fast saying that somebody fudged. PEAK OF THE PACK And now, folks, it is reported that an actress has been signed up for a couple "pitchers" and her salary is fixed at $800 per minute. Up to the hour of going to press this is the best price paid to performers, and makes the unemployment situation look silly. OH, WELL, WHAT'S THE USE! A young woman liked fur coats, cars, good times. She was accused of stealing money from her employer. Was convicted. She collapsed. Wept bitterly. Was sent to prison. The Sob Sisters enter. They demand probation. Exit. "YOU OUGHT TO GET A SOCK ON THE JAW!" And now, folks, it is reported that an actress has been signed up for a coupla "pitchers" and her salary is fixed at $800 per minute. Up to the hour of going to press this is the best price paid to performers, and makes the unemployment situation look silly. OH, WELL, WHAT'S THE USE! A young woman liked fur coats, cars, good times. She was accused of stealing money from her employer. Was convicted. She collapsed. Wept bitterly. Was sent to prison. The Sob Sisters enter. They demand probation. Exit. "YOU OUGHT TO GET A SOCK ON THE JAW!" O-H Y-E-A-H? The police in an eastern city raided a gambling joint. One of the guests claimed "diplomatic immunity" and was released. HEAVING THE HEN FRUIT A young man who a few short years ago had many of the fair sex hanging over the ropes by his melodious crooning, had a warm reception in an eastern city the other evening when he was on the receiving end of a number of eggs coming unexpectedly one at a time from nowhere in particular. NATURE'S PLAYGROUND From winter sports to balmy desert air and then to the placid ocean waters in the bay seems like a wild stretch of imagination; but that is just what some people enjoyed here during the early part of January. IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED. TAKE ANOTHER HEADER Alfonso—What is love? Hidalgo—Why, buddy, love is what dreams are made out of. I fell in love once; and you know, brother, that's why I have to furnish meal tickets for the ex-wife. WATER ON THEIR WHEEL The honest-to-goodness moochers, who were wont to give you the gentle touch in season and out, had a picnic during the days and nights that feed was handed out to the fellers in need. The gentry known as the professional panhandlers made hay while the sun shone. Of course, they looked for work—but didn't find it. To the kind hearted bozo with a jingle all the down-and-outers looked alike. It was hard to separate the sheep from the goats. And it is said many of the old time street solicitors made good wages. GETTING THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE When you apologize to a guy you should be sure he has the goods on you. If you crawl before the gun goes off you may get powder marks on your profile. EVERY TUB STANDING ON OWN BOTTOM Even the most bitter critic of the administration must admit that the chief executive was 100 per cent right in refusing to make a charity bazaar out of the United States Treasury. The measure to loan money to farmers in the drought stricken area, on easy terms, according to the security they offer, is a wonderful piece of legislation. That will afford relief to the oppressed in a sensible and business-like manner. TRA-LA-LA, GIRLIE, CALL UP SOME RAINY AFTERNOON EVERY TUB STANDING ON OWN BOTTOM Even the most bitter critic of the administration must admit that the chief executive was 100 per cent right in refusing to make a charity bazaar out of the United States Treasury. The measure to loan money to farmers in the drought stricken area, on easy terms, according to the security they offer, is a wonderful piece of legislation. That will afford relief to the oppressed in a sensible and business-like manner. TRA-LA-LA, GIRLIE, CALL UP SOME RAINY AFTERNOON Scene: Hot Dog Cafe. Burnette waitress. Good looker. All dolled up, and off duty. Leaning on the counter talking to charming blonde at work. Enters a regular boarder. Speaking to brunette, he says: "You're on the wrong side of the counter." The blonde speaks up: "Mebbe he thinks this is a marathon dance hall." The boarder horns in with: "Perhaps this is a garage." The brunette, blushing smiles sweetly and replies: "How come; because I'm parked here?" GOING INTO A HUDDLE When the experts take their pens in hand and hold meetings and conferences and try to figure out to a gnat's ear whether or not they should put a tariff on crude oil, it gives some folks a neck pain; while about 200,000 men have been fired in the home oil fields. HOW COME? RELATIVITY, 'ER WHAT? A cowboy up-state rigged up a trailer to his flivver to haul his horse to town. Out in the wide open spaces he ran out of gas. He unloads the horse and rides him to town to get the gas to make the flivver go to get the horse to town in the way he started out to do before he ran out of gas when the horse was being hauled by the flivver. HEY, TAKE THE UMBRELLA; LOOKS LIKE RAIN After hearing the chairman state the conclusions arrived at by the commission a fella sort of realizes why they put rubbers on leadpenclls. NEST EGGS When the dear people get on their feet again, and everything is going good, they should take some of the jack out of the pay envelope and put it in a savings bank. HEY! HEY! And now, folks, another opera song bird has announced a final farewell appearance before her public.