anaheim-gazette 1929-08-29

THE ANAHEIM GAZETTE ESTABLISHED 1870 HENRY KUCHEL, Editor and Pririetor. ISSUED EVERY THURSDAY SUBSCRIPTION PER YEAR..... $1.50 SIX MONTHS..... 1.00 Entered at the Anaheim, California, Postoffice as second-class matter. UNCLE SAM TO JOHN BULL As we understand it, Uncle Sam, through President Hoover, is saving to John Bull, in the person of Prime Minister MacDonald in effect: “1. We Americans believe you Britishers agree that naval parity between the two countries is reasonable. God forbid we should ever think of war between the two English-speaking nations. But unhappily there may be wars in the future and we regard our foreign trade as so important to us that it is only fair that we should be consulted as to the rules under which neutrals may carry on their trade in the event of war. Human nature being what it is, we feel that the decision should not be left exclusively to John Bull as it would be if he were master of the seas. 2. There is no question, of course, that at present you have outbuilt us on cruisers. You have fourteen of about 10,000 tons, and forty smaller ones, and you are building seven more of 10,000 tons or slightly less. We have ten of 7,500 tons and are building eight of 10,000 tons, while we have fifteen additional 10,000-ton cruisers authorized. But we do not greatly stress these precise figures, for we hope to find some rough and ready measure of approximate equality that we can agree to, without carrying out both our present naval programs. In order that the forthcoming conference shall be held in the proper atmosphere, you have ordered work suspended on two cruisers, and we have held up three. Not but that we may have to go ahead and build these three and more eventually. But we want to show the sincerity of our desire to keep naval building at a minimum by stopping additional construction until perhaps the conference rules that we should go ahead in order to establish the parity we both agree to. We do not want to be engaged in new building, no matter how justified we may think it is, while the conference is pending or in progress, because we believe a cessa- In order that the forthcoming conference shall be held in the proper atmosphere, you have ordered work suspended on two cruisers, and we have held up three. Not but that we may have to go ahead and build these three and more eventually. But we want to show the sincerity of our desire to keep naval building at a minimum by stopping additional construction until perhaps the conference rules that we should go ahead in order to establish the parity we both agree to. We do not want to be engaged in new building, no matter how justified we may think it is, while the conference is pending or in progress, because we believe a cessation of building will help the conference to carry out its pacific purposes. "We hope, John, you understand us and that you can keep the die-hard sea dogs of the admiralty from barking too loudly when the conference is in session. For we believe that the great mass of the people of both countries are anxious to do something substantial for international good will and for the limiting of armaments." SOLUTION IS POSSIBLE A study of the figures of the different categories of combatant vessels, comparing the navies of the United States and Great Britain, show that there is a rough sort of parity, now, outside of the cruiser strength which is greatly in favor of Great Britain. In the number of capital ships and aircraft carriers Great Britain has a slight lead, while in submarines and destroyers the United States holds an edge. In capital ships, according to figures in the New York World, the United States has eighteen, to twenty for Great Britain, ten for Japan, nine for France and four for Italy. Great Britain leads in aircraft carriers with six against four for America, three for Japan, one for France and none for Italy. In the matter of submarines, however, the story is different. Uncle Sam has 129, to 80 for Great Britain, 76 for Japan, 64 for France and 67 for Italy. We hold the edge in destroyers, to with 260 against 194 owned by Great Britain, 115 by Japan, 90 by Italy and 82 by France. It is only in the matter of cruisers that there is an important discrepancy. In this class Great Britain has 62 in commission to 28 by Uncle Sam, 33 by Japan, 19 by France and 22 by Italy. In number of cruisers therefore it will be seen that Uncle Sam is in third place. The number of cruisers is especially important because of the greater possible use of battle cruisers now that capital ships have been limited by the Washington conference. It will be seen, therefore, that if a reasonable agreement on cruisers, based on parity, can be obtained between the United States and Great Britain, the question of naval limitation and parity is not impossible of solution. The country will rest assured that President Hoover and the administration at Washington will not accept a secondary place for the United States in the matter of navies. Any negotiations will be had on the basis of parity. The pacifists who are now shouting that the days of cruiser building are over, that we ought to stop work entirely and for all time to come on our cruiser program are not rendering the cause of peace and disarmament any service. By creating suspicion and mistrust where none is deserved, and giving rise to the belief abroad that Uncle Sam may accept a position of inferiority, they are actually hampering the negotiations between Great Britain and America for naval parity. SMALL OR LARGE FARMS Six million small manufacturing plants competing against each other would probably solve some of their problems by merging. The six million farms of the country cannot do that, says SMALL OR LARGE FARMS Six million small manufacturing plants competing against each other would probably solve some of their problems by merging. The six million farms of the country cannot do that, says Secretary of Agriculture Hyde, in a speech before the American Institute of Co-operation. One reason why they cannot is because this country wishes to preserve its individual farms. "The one-family farm is a valuable social unit. Its independence must be maintained," says Mr. Hyde. This is true of course. But here is something else interesting. Purely from a financial viewpoint alone, the United States Chamber of Commerce has been making a survey to see if large-scale farming is more successful than small-scale. The large-scale farm can make its labor specialize more, can buy and sell in larger quantities to financial advantage, and if the weather would just co-operate, it could make more efficient use of machinery. But the large-scale farm cannot meet the small-scale farm in what may be called the human elements. Its labor has no personal interest. There is no heart in the work. When everything is weighed and analyzed, it is found that the small-scale farm makes just as much money as the large-scale, proportionately. Hence there would seem to be no adequate reason for looking forward to a time when we would do our farming wholesale. Farming calls for different organization methods than does industry. The only type of merging being advanced by the leaders today narrows down to membership in co-operatives. Standard Oil filling stations in the East are preparing to add hot dogs and soda counters. Now if they will only put in a line of jewelry and leather goods, they can blossom forth as full-fledged drug stores. A poet once said that a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it isn't any more dangerous than a lot of learning in a little brain. ANAHEIM GAZETTE The Trouble With Having Bad Little Boys Over to Your House By Albert T. Reid LAW, COME ON AN GIT SOME YER MAW WONT CARE INCORRIGIBLE BUSINESSES GEE, SHELL SURE DUST MY PANTS FOR WHAT YOU'RE DOIN BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS AMERICAN EX-PRESIDENTS USUALLY NOT ACTIVE SUCH A COOLING NOISE TARIFF QUESIONS Ever since the question of a revision AMERICAN EX-PRESIDENTS USUALLY NOT ACTIVE Comparatively little is known to the average reader of history as to the fate of our Presidents after they leave the White House. The fact is that most of them do not lead active lives after leaving the Presidency. Among the exceptions are Chief Justice William Howard Taft and John Quincy Adams who served long and honorably in Congress. Of course, President Roosevelt was active, too, after laying down his reins of government. The story of the American ex-President is told in an interesting manner in the current issue of the National Republic by Prof. William F. Dunbar of the Department of History of Kalamazoo College. In part, Prof. Dantar says: "The exit of Mr. Calvin Cooleidge from the Presidency places him in the group of Americans who may survive the rigors of that office and have tried to tell the tale. The great American ex-President is a figure which has been sadly neglected by historians and biographers. This has been largely due to the fact that none of them has ever accomplished much of note after his retirement. Taft is an exception. No other ex-President has served on the Supreme Court, say nothing of becoming Chief Justice. Taft has probably been of greater service to his country as Chief Justice than as President, but he is an extraordinary career. It is a surprising fact that only two ex-Presidents have become members of Congress: John Quincy Adams and Andrew Johnson. The others appear to have completely covered their active connection with the federal government on the day that they left the Presidency. None has ever obtained to become a member of the cabinet of another President. The non-political life of the ex-Presidents has been equally devoid of spectacular achievements. Perhaps this is the reason that the biographers of our Presidents have been content to cover their lives as ex-Presidents in a pararrig or two, as a rule. But even at that, one would think that Americans would know more about their ex-Presidents than they do. It is curious that a name which is on every tongue for four years or more is so quickly and easily forgotten. Perhaps it is because there isn't a breeze stirring all the windows in the house are up and the evening is so sultry that one feels like a fish out of water, what can be sweeter than to hear someone somewhere in the neighborhood running the scale on a corner? It is true that we no longer have the good old days. In fact, we never did have them. They existed only in the imaginations of those who for some reason or other are sorry that they are alive. As a nation we are better off now than ever before in history. The only respect in which we have retreated is that along with more blessings, we have more cynics, knockers and revolutionaries than ever. When there isn't a breeze stirring all the windows in the house are up and the evening is so sultry that one feels like a fish out of water, what can be sweeter than to hear someone somewhere in the neighborhood running the scale on a corner? TARiff QUESIONS Ever since the question of a revision of the tariff came up we have been treated to a regular barrage of criticism from free trade newspapers, importers and internationalist statesmen to the effect than any increase in our tariff would result in severe reprisals from Europe and the rest of the world. Any raising of rates to protect the American worker and American farmer, they have declared, would create so much resentment in Europe that we would be treated to a first-class trade war which would ruin our foreign commerce and cripple our prosperity. True it is that this barrage has not been so fierce during the past few weeks as it was early in the anti-tariff campaign. Either the free traders have stopped to cool off their guns or they have gradually learned that these European threats are pure luncomber created only by those who desire larger importations from across the seas. Our foreign trade is increasing steadily and constantly and there is no evidence that there will be a recession in the near future. But in view of all these charges by American free traders and internationalists, it is interesting occasionally to note what the other fellow has to say about us. La Patrie, published in Montreal, recently had this to say of the United States and its tariff policy. "No one will pretend that the economic policy in force in the United States is not the fundamental cause of the great prosperity enjoyed by our neighbors. The government of the United States first of all protects by a high tariff the domestic market for American producers, and then proceeds to encourage the export trade. Our country would gain by following this example. As Mr. Bennett stated at Revelstoke, in British Columbia, a similar policy, by favoring a vigorous expansion of employment would prevent emigration taking an immense toll each year of our population." The old-fashioned politician who prided himself on the fact that he was a Republican or Democrat, has been succeeded by the fellow who tries to make the people think he is bigger than his party, proving at least that he has no sense of proportion. HOLD STILL, NOW, PINKY! SISTER WANTS TO TAKE YOUR PICTURE IN YOUR NEW SCHOOL OUTFIT! ALL DRESSED UP AND NO PLACE TO GO - 'CEPT SCHOOL!' OO-EE! PINKY, GIVE US A KISS! AW! SHUT UP! YOU DOPES! HO. HO. HO. HAHA! LATER - THE SNAPSHOT PROOF The old-fashioned politician who prided himself on the fact that he was a Republican or Democrat, has been succeeded by the fellow who tries to make the people think he is bigger than his party, proving at least that he has no sense of proportion. OBSERVATIONS SHIFTING SCENES A movie actor who is rated as a love pirate (on the screen) got married the other day to a charming young lady, whom the local drugstore cowboys never heard of before. They all were sure in their belief that this man, who had engaged in many death grapples (before the camera) with an enchanting heroine of varied loving and lingering kissing episodes would choose that very lady for his life-mate—but now all those prognostications go glimmering. You never can tell which way the cat is going to jump, and it is folly to count the chickens before they are hatched, more especially if a black cat crosses your path or a bat flies into your window. INSIDE LOOKING OUT One reason why the hospitals are filling up is because after a man has been convicted, and he remains in the jailhouse awaiting action on appeal, he becomes "very sick." WHERE THERE'S SMOKE THERE MUST BE SOME FIRE It is said that large shipments of ginger ale to these shores is becoming to be one of the major importations. The sparkling water is harmless in itself, and it is reported to be one of the sizzling adjuncts in all well regulated cellars, because of its neutralizing and ameliorative properties. BITES HAND THAT FEEDS A much-talked-of and delectable young lady, who, according to her own inclinations, is so popular that she went about some time ago in disguise, just so she would not be bothered by the curious crowd. And she absolutely refused to be newspaper "interviewed" about it. From all appearances she has made the money grade, but you don't see her name on the bank windows. The lady has a wonderful way of smiling, and no doubt lives on Easy Financial street, but you do not see any boulevards named after her. There are many young ladies who are not known by their first names, who can give away cards and spades and still excel in histrionic ability; but they are not placarded on the billboards. They may be wild and talented, but they as yet have not secured a neckhold on that publicity business. No doubt the press agent is responsible for 95 per cent of the success of quite a few stars, which goes to show that printers' ink pays. When an actress becomes securely entrenched in the halls of fame, if she gives the pencil-pushers the air, some day she might lose grace and would then crave to see the name in the personal column once in TWOULD BE WELL TO LOOK UP THIS MATTER A man well known on automobile row says that animated amendment should be enforced—not modified. Do you mean, mister, that a lotta agents are flagpole sitters? WHISTLE WETTERS “What is a set-up?” Well, that may be a guy trotted out in a fistic battle, or what have you; but when it comes to tearooms a ginger ale bottle is in a class all by itself. SHE MUSTA PICKED HIM BLINDFOLDED A wife up-state got a divorce from her husband because he fibbed to her before they embarked out on the matrimonial sea. She said he told her he was an American, when the fact of the matter is he is a foreigner. She said he told her he was rich, when it developed he was as poor as a poet. She said he told her he was young, when after looking up the birth certificate it was found he was as old as Methuselah. LURE OF LUCRE All those who have a “voice” that will meet the test, stand up. You may have been talking for a long time, but if your vocal organs are of the right sort, fortune lies at your feet. Even a famous woman, who has been much in the spotlight, has been offered tempting offers to go in for the silver sheet productions. “Come on, let’s go; I’ll get the tickets.” “All right.” And listen, all you who have personality only, why you are just a possibility. They used to say that talk is cheap and it takes money to buy whiskey, but now it seems chatter is not cheap and from curb-stone reports the high talk water prices are still the talk of the town. And yet again, all those who have good-looking limbs have a chance to appear on the side lines, to help out the scenery; and if it so happens that you might get cold feet in trying to get your name on a dotted line, that should not be much of a drawback because there are a lot of hot water bottles left in the drug stores. TAKING HER MEALS OFF THE MANTEL A young lady student in an institution, over in a seacoast town, when initiated into an organization with a name that has a voodoo superstitious ring to it, was so soundly spanked, it is said, she was not herself physically for several days thereafter. YES, WE HAVE NO BANANAS. “Say, Bill, what is the meaning of that Swedish looking word pseudo?” Well, buddy, you sure are obfuscated. That funny bunch of letters means, counterfeit, or something like that. But when a big man calls another big man a pseudo-republican, and the president of the bunch then invites him to a swell dinner, why that? YES, WE HAVE NO BANANAS. "Say, Bill, what is the meaning of that Swedish looking word pseudo?" Well, buddy, you sure are obfuscated. That funny bunch of letters means, counterfeit, or something like that. But when a big man calls another big man a pseudo-republican, and the president of the bunch then invites him to a swell dinner, why that's that. PUTTING THE JACK INTO CIRCULATION Everything considered, it is said prohibition is costing the country a billion dollars a year. DITCH IT IN THE WOODSHED, HERE COMES THE OFFICER An inside western state has passed a law, it is said, condemning any home as a common nuisance wherein liquor is served. JUST LIKE TWO PEAS IN A POD There has been a lot of hullabaloo and confabulation going the rounds about what is best for an 18-year-old girl to do, whether she should go along on her own hook or listen to her mother. Some of the local drug store cowboys incline to the idea that one of the hardest jobs for the maiden is to try to keep from being mistaken for her mother's sister. TREADING CLOSE TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF. Delphina—Why do some persons refuse to testify before an inquisitorial body upon advice of their attorney not to do so? Alonzo—Well, you see, sister; they might incriminate themselves if they did; and it affords the real subject under investigation time to prepare his defense and throw in a few alibis and a demurrer. GET YOU GOING AND COMING Often you read about the wiser seek that even though you vote the bonds your taxes will not be raised. You see, that is brought about by anticipating the much-needed improvements will be made, your assessed valuation would be raised—thereby getting more value to be taxed by the same old rate. Simple as falling off a log.