anaheim-gazette 1925-12-24

Bozo Butts They Drive Him Nuts By "Rube" Goldberg Autocenter Service By R. E. Velding HELLO, BOZO-GEE, YOU KEEP YOUR OFFICE HOT- WHY DON'T YOU LET A LITTLE AIR IN HERE? ALL RIGHTI'll OPEN A WINDOW HELLO, BOZO THIS PLACE FEELS LIKE THE NORTH POLE-ARE YOU TRYING TO CATCH PAEUMONIA! SAY, BUTTS, THE AIR DOESN'T GET A CHANCE TO CIRCULATE IN HEREWHY DON'T YOU KEEP THE DOOR OPEN? ALL RIGHTI'll OPEN THE DOOR AH, A FRESH CASE OF INSANITY WHY DON'T YOU KEEP YOUR DOOR CLOSED? I GIVE UP! DAFFY DEPARTMENT YES, I PAY EVERY NICHT DUE THE GOVERNMENT ON MY INCOME TAX OBSERVATIONS BY A CONTRIBUTOR THE HIGH BROWS Two talented young ladies of this city attended a grand opera held in Los Angeles a few weeks ago, when their curiosity had been aroused as to just how these ultra-society events are pulled off. The young ladies enjoyed the musical drama. But right here it must be mentioned there is not one person in a hundred, who really understands the operatic compositions and the young ladies devoted their time to seeing how the idle rich performed when attending these high-brow functions. During intermissions, and there were many of them, the society dames would form circles in the lobbies and bell-hops were kept on the jump in paging the notables. First it was one and then the other of the higher ups who were brought into the spotlight, and each and every one then had her fling in displaying her gown and diamonds. Some of the ladies were so profusely decorated that it made them stoop shouldered carrying their pearls around. The first nighters usually are out in force, each trying to outdazzle the other and the show is a merry one. As to the opera itself, that is lost in the shuffle, for the dizzy display of wealth appeared to the ultra-rich to be the main object of their being mentioned as among those present. And if they all got home with all their jewelry, without being touched by the light-fingered brigade, they're lucky. ALL IS NOT GOLD THAT GLITTERS A man who recently returned from a section 700 miles north of here has a small glass bottle in which he carries a number of small nuggets of pure gold. These were taken from a mine up there which the owner has not yet developed. There are many evidences of rich ore there and a number of old-time miners in that section, whenever they need a little ready cash, go out and pan out a batch to keep them going. Just the other day an old-timer took out a thousand dollars worth of gold which he was going to use in making a little social trip and enjoy himself. When that was gone he said he would come back and take out some more. It is said there is more hidden gold than ever has been taken out of the earth, and it is no doubt also true that every dollar's worth of gold discovered has cost $10. Several local men have recently contracted the gold fever and are talking of rigging up wins recognition, many draw only disappointment. Artists are high cultured and gain fame through atmosphere. Now, there are poets, many of them, but they are different from ordinary mortals; for instance, take the farmer. The poet cannot eat what he produces—unless he is a goat. In the winter time poets have rough sledding, but in the spring they too at times gain much through atmospheric surroundings. Orange county is famous as a habitat for artists and poets, for here the climate is all that could be wished. CLOSE FRIENDS An eight-year-old boy was asked his name the other day, and he replied "Buddy." Close by stood a pooch with its ears at attention, evidently taking in the conversation. "Yep," he's my pal," reassured the youngster. DILL PICKLE'S COUSINS To emphasize the diversity of products that can be raised in Orange county, we now tell the world that a man devoted three acres to raising cucumbers. He cleaned up $600 an acre, or $1800 for the three acres, and says he had plenty of time to do other things around the ranch. THOSE OUT WANT IN "A blizzard blowing and snow drifting, piling up ten feet deep, is what they are getting back in Cedar Rapids," said a man the other morning. "I've been there and I know what that means. I have a daughter living there now and I have been trying to get her out here where the sun shines. You bet it gets cold back there. I shovel snow for 75 days one year and want no more. Southern California is good enough for me. You know, there are just lots of people back there who would come to California if they could arrange their affairs and pull out," said the man as he torched up the pipe, picked up the dinner pail and went on his way to work. STICK A PIN HERE A man who has lived in Anaheim for 60 years, hale and hearty, who has a local reputation as a weather prophet, says this: "There will be heavy rains the latter part of next February, 1926, also heavy downpour on March 20th of next year. Bridges will be washed out, he predicts, and the dry-bed rivers will run bank full." And this man says, bear this in mind, and be prepared for/a wet winter. Holy fishhooks! THE UPS AND DOWNS "What? Are you going to California?" asked a man back in the middle bare land. Hall of chunks of ice even killed young knob almost. Had known to penetrate and do other free uncertainty of rain is the main cause under. This man that poor managed played an important money institutions. SPILLING A movie picture what, in his opinion means of relieving on busy street wer: "Keep all cars for off the streets." PYROTECH While the Sixty edits first session verbal pyrotechnics not think that ther ers are going to o lines until they ad doubt but that ther surgent plans are of this was a group the administration who refused to vow worth for speaker the majority of t as Republicans. The Senate seas Vice-president Davis llamas of Missouri of Indiana, and Jr., took their oath the vice-presidentier sizer of North Dakota Senate the credem and asked that ferred to the Comand Elections. The Senate was the e Thayer of Indiana the Senate, to suc Sanderson. The S out of respect to t tors who have died. According to t problems that will cideration by ther are: Tax reduction sign debt settlement strike, shipping b three senatorial o The first measure to come before the World Court, the 17th of this m there and a number of old-time miners in that section, whenever they need a little ready cash, go out and pan out a batch to keep them going. Just the other day an old-timer took out a thousand dollars worth of gold which he was going to use in making a little social trip and enjoy himself. When that was gone he said he would come back and take out some more. It is said there is more hidden gold than ever has been taken out of the earth, and it is no doubt also true that every dollar's worth of gold discovered has cost $10. Several local men have recently contracted the gold fever and are talking of rigging up a brace of burroes and going out prospecting. EDDIE, CALL JUPITER PLUYIUS. "You see that man over there dressed in overalls, with his straw hat cocked over his left ear and a wisp of straw between his teeth?" asked an El Toro man the other dal. "Well, I tell you, he is one of the biggest gamblers in the west." "How come?" asked a stranger, "does he play the ponies or does he shuffle the pastcoards?" "Nope, he's farming 1000 acres of land here and he depends upon nature to supply the water. He's a dry farmer." TICKLING THE PALATE An English specialist says poor cooking of the housewife causes the husband to drink liquor, presumably in a vain attempt to cure his indigestion. The piles of empty cans in the garbage basket in this country no doubt has a very important bearing upon the hooch problem. It would appear that the average young married woman is short on cooking and long on welding the can opener. Good old corned beef and cabbage and the seductive Irish stew are only prepared after long years of practice. Perhaps these would go further toward satisfying the inner man than all the fancy canned stuff ever coming down the plike, and maybe reduce the divorce percentage. KEEPING WOLF FROM DOOR A county artist recently was awarded a $2500 prize for the best painting at an art exhibition held a few weeks ago, and the event has attracted quite a bit of local attention. Where one artist STICK A PIN HERE A man who has lived in Anaheim for 60 years, hale and hearty, who has a local reputation as a weather prophet, says this: "There will be heavy rains the latter part of next February, 1926, also heavy downpour on March 20th of next year. Bridges will be washed out, he predicts, and the dry-bed rivers will run bank full." And this man says, bear this in mind, and be prepared for a wet winter. Holy fishhooks! THE UPS AND DOWNS "What? Are you going to California," asked a man back in the middle west of another who had made known his intention of going out west. The man was amazed as he and his family had just got back and said he got trimmed as the saying goes. "Don't go out there—they will skin you alive," continued the man excitedly. But the neighbor came out anyway and has made good. He used good judgment and invested his money wisely and is now enjoying himself. It's that old story. Lots of people come to California expecting too much and are over-confident, or timid, as the case may be, and get off on the wrong track. There are plenty of chances here for the man with a little ready cash and a good strong back, who is not afraid of work. Of course if he has a good strong head and uses his brains, he will get along all right. He must hit the ball. "Yes sir, this is a wonderful country," said the successful man, "and this climate is a great asset. The wonder is that everybody does not come to California." LOTS OF BITTER, NO SWEET A well-known citizen of Anaheim in former years lived in Colorado where two or three banks have hung up the S. O. S. sign. He divided his time raising sugar beets and alfalfa, but had to give it up as a bad job. Where he was, in a section lying close by the Rocky mountains, a hall storm could come up quickened than any place on earth. After two crop failures this man had a good prospect of beets the third year, but a storm started and hall descended big as hen eggs and destroyed everything outdoors. It piled up a foot high and when it cleared off nothing was left but the INCOME T A comparison of come tax returns net incomes of fraternity was in the previous last returns we crease of 59,811, an increase of 3,147 from $50,000 to $161,000 of time, while 1000 to $300,000 for while that of 1923. An analysis of that there are many smaller income larger ones. The total number on file September million two hundred thousand four hundred aggregating a net five hundred and two hundred and ninety-five dollars as filed, showed a making the average Comparing this year the returns per cent but, how crease of tax money ANAHEIM GAZETTE to one hundred and eighty-three million seventy-three thousand five hundred and twenty-nine dollars, or 0.73 per cent in the total net income and an increase of twenty-five million four hundred and eighty-two thousand six hundred and eighty dollars, or 3.70 per cent in the total tax. According to figures made public the people of the country have five billion two hundred and eighteen million five hundred and fifty-nine thousand three hundred and ninety-four dollars invested in tax exempt securities which they are compelled to mention in the tax returns, paying no tax, however, on them. From these investments there were received two hundred and thirty-two million nine hundred and seventy-seven thousand five hundred dollars in interest. The personal income tax returns for 1924 disclose the fact that there are 74 individuals in the United States who have incomes in excess of one million dollars per year; 3 of this number have incomes of more than five million dollars per annum. A like number reported incomes of between four and five million dollars, while 4 acknowledged incomes of between three and four million dollars; 15 between two and three million dollars; 13 between one and a half and two million dollars; 6 between one and one and a half million dollars. ITS A SCIENCE I WONDER if you realize THAT MODERN laundering IS A science of CHEMISTRY AS well as OF MECHANICS. And an EFFICIENT LAUNDRYMAN KNOWS THE chemistry OF DYES and fabrics; OF WATERS and alkalies AS NO home laundress only dis-cultured mosphere, them, but very morner. The ceases—inter time in the much ings. Orbitat for climate bare land. Hall there is nothing short of chunks of ice falling down. It has even killed young cattle and horses, and the cold weather would freeze a brass knob almost. Hall over there has been known to penetrate a sheet iron roof and do other freakish things, and the uncertainty of raising crops and cattle is the main cause of the banks going under. This man quoted here also avers that poor management and greed also played an important part in putting the money institutions out of business. SPILLING THE BEANS A movie picture celebrity was asked what, in his opinion, would be the best means of relieving the traffic congestion on busy streets, and this is his answer: "Keep all cars that are not paid for off the streets." PYROTECHNICS AHEAD While the Sixty-ninth Congress opened its first session without excitement or verbal pyrotechnics, the country must not think that the assembled law-makers are going to continue along placid lines until they adjourn, for there is no doubt but that the Democratic and insurgent plans are, if possible, to harass of this was a group of discontented ones the administration. The first evidence who refused to vote for Nicholas Longworth for speaker, despite the fact that the majority of them had been elected as Republicans. The Senate session was opened by Vice-president Dawes. George H. Williams of Missouri, Arthur R. Robinson, of Indiana, and Robert M. LaFollette, Jr., took their oaths of office in front of the vice-president's desk. Senator Frazier of North Dakota, laid before the Senate the credentials of Gerald P. Nye and asked that the credentials be referred to the Committee on Privileges and Elections. The next action of the Senate was the election of Edwin P. Thayer of Indianapolis as Secretary of the Senate, to succeed the late George Sanderson. The Senate then adjourned out of respect to the memory of Senators who have died during the past year. According to the present plan the problems that will be presented for consideration by the Sixty-ninth Congress are: Tax reduction, World Court, foreign debt settlements, farm relief, coal strike, shipping board, prohibition, and three senatorial election contests. The first measure of major importance to come before the Senate will be the World Court, which will start on the 17th of this month. The political division of the present Anaheim Clearing Bank First National Bank Anaheim National Bank American Saving Accept our season's In the good old fa We wish you joy and On this Merry C INCOME TAX RETURNS A comparison of the number of income tax returns entered showing the net incomes of from $5,000 to $50,000 was in the previous year 609,263, while the last returns were 669,074 or an increase of 59,811. There is also shown an increase of 3,182 returns of incomes from $50,000 to $100,000 in the same period of time, while the incomes of $100,-000 to $300,000 for 1924 shows 4,922, while that of 1923 showed 1,281. An analysis of these figures will show that there are many more increases in the smaller incomes than there are in the larger ones. The total number of personal returns on file September 30, 1925, was seven million two hundred and ninety-eight thousand four hundred and eighty-one, aggregating a net income of two billion five hundred and twenty-three million two hundred and ten thousand eight hundred and ninety-three dollars, while the tax return totaled six hundred and eighty-nine million one hundred and thirty-four thousand one hundred and eighty-five dollars. The average income, as filed, showed a return of $3,428.25, making the average tax paid $94.42. Comparing this with the previous year the returns note a decrease of 5.48 per cent but, however, there is an increase of tax money received amounting FALKENSTEIN'S ANAHEIM, CALIF. Gift Seekers Help You Find a Gift Easily and quickly we have put Scores of Lovely Gifts Out on a Big Table at $0c and $1.00 the Basement Store Very Special Values at These Prices the Basement Store very Special Values at These Prices GIFT CERTIFICATES A very satisfactory way of solving any gift problem. Issued for any amount. Can be used at any time. at our season's greetings e good old fashioned way. our season's greetings good old fashioned way, joy and happiness this Merry Christmas Day Clearing House Assoc'n Anaheim Branch Bank of America Southern County Bank American Savings Bank