anaheim-gazette 1911-06-22

GRADS' SPARKLING WIT Bits of Jest Taken from Class-Play Program What happened to Jones was something fierce, as portrayed by high school graduates at their play Thursday evening, but that was not all the merriment the occasion afforded, for an eight-page program was filled with many a jest at expense of members of the class. A bunch of the jokes are worthy of reproduction here: Morthland (in English essay): "Si las Marner was a small, lean-looking man with a pale, clean complexion, and large brown eyes set far back in their orbits." Miss Walker (studying Old Testament stories): "Tell us one difference between those people's customs and ours." Mary Kellar: "Why, in those days they washed their feet and now they don't." Howard (pointing directly toward Mr. Walker in Physics): "The first thermometer was just like that." March 8. John Spencer got spanked in history class. Watkins: "Gen. Gates dressed in woman's clothes and ran as fast as he could." Tedrick: "He couldn't have worn a hobble skirt." Smith (Physics): "Horse power is what a real horse does in one second." Mr. Walker: "Perhaps you mean an ordinary horse." Mr. Watkins (in Med. history): "What is a friar?" Cadman: "A spring chicken." Yorba (entering English room and looking at exam. on board): "Whew." Miss Walker: "Is it too warm in here?" Yorba: "No; but that exam's too hot." Mr. Watkins: "I have the Stamp Act in my pocket. I am reading it." E. Asher (in physics): "Is this prism made of frozen glass?" Miss Hayler: "Cube a plus b." Ray Elliott: "A3 plus 3a2 plus 3a plus 1." Miss Hayler: "Why do you omit the bs?" Given the weight of a cylinder full of water; given the weight of the cylinder; find the weight of the water E. Asher: "How can I weigh the water when there's nothing to put it in?" Miss Hayler: "G.E.D. means guod erat demonstrandum." Miss McDill: "Distinguish between the forms and meanings of finitimus." Scrub: "Finitimus, finitimi, well, it means neighbors." Miss McDill: "No." Scrub: "Neighborus, neighbora—" And then—— Watkins: "We discuss gerrymandering today." Clabaugh: "Jerry who?" Mr. Watkins: "Write 400 condensed words on King George's policy." Mr. Walker (compares solids to a room full of people): "When the solids are heated, they expand; and going back to our illustration, the only way to get people off their chairs is to make them hot." Lewis (in English): "One only keeps late hours when he studies with another pupil." Query: What do the two of them study? Tipton (in English): "If anybody is weak in a certain subject and he studies with another person, he gets used to leaning on that person." Watkins: "One thousand Hessians were captured by one thousand girls in one winter." Tedrick: "How did they do it?" Watkins: "How does a girl usually capture a man?" Jones (discussing murder cases): "If a murderer was to die three times, would they keep on hanging him until he was dead?" E. Spaeth (translating Latin): "He embraced Caesar with many tears." Miss McDill: "Oh, is that so? I $2500 in some locality of pumped water is $1000 per miner's inch flow of 1 miner's inch gate on an average abate making the minimum acre $125, and the incent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 per cent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $7.50 percent thereon $ The methods used companies for securing eration vary somewhat. Monte Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 cents per acre, where being a percent may be reduced a few. Water is very cheesemakes Irrigation Company is now out of stock been fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative of those who funds by assessment. The assessments in the company are 75 centspera cure,where being average about making the minimum acre-foot.The cost of pumping from the water chamber this section,average price for miners' inchpera cure,the cost citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracure,either citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.either citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.either citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.either citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.ehether citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits maybe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits MayBe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits MayBe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits MayBe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits MayBe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits MayBe$12peracur.e whether citrus fruits MayBe$12peracur.e whether citricus fruits MayBe$12peracur.e whether citricus fruits MayBe$12peracur.e whether citricus fruits MayBe$12peracur.e whether citricus fruits MayBe$12peracur.e whether citricus fruits MayBe$12peracur.e whether citricus fruits MayBe$ Yes, they terrace on the investmnt rights,makes the total at point of deliveryre present for security vary somewhatMonte Ir irrigation Conventativeof those which fundthe minimum acre-foot.The costof pumpingwaterisneverpresentforsecurityvarysomewhatMonte Ir 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Smith (Physics): "Horse power is what a real horse does in one second." Mr. Walker: "Perhaps you mean an ordinary horse." Mr. Watkins (in Med. history): "What is a friar?" Cadman: "A spring chicken." Yorba (entering English room and looking at exam. on board): "Whew." Miss Walker: "Is it too warm in here?" Yorba: "No; but that exam's too hot." Mr. Watkins: "I have the Stamp Act in my pocket. I am reading it now." Robertson (Physics): "Pressure is the pressure of one square, cubic centimeter." Howard: "When the governor dies or goes away, the lieutenant governor takes his place until he comes back." Abbott (in Ancient history): "Who was Marathon? Oh, yes, he was a town." E. Asher: "Is ice a gas?" Wilkie (emphatically, in debate): "The high school graduates want to higher themselves, instead of lowering themselves." Lewis: "Neptune was the feed of the gods." Webb (translating Latin): "Then there was a terrible fight between the carts and wagons." Schrott: "Over the hilltops they saw a bacon light." Miss Walker: "When was Caesar to wear his crown?" Webb (suddenly attentive): "On his head, I suppose." E. Fraser (after Symphony concert): "I wish Madam Reache was my wife, so she could sing to me all the time." Storm (a Soph, writing a composition on the treatment of Shylock in the Merchant of Venice, sums up his abuses by saying): "Shylock was abused at every turn; in fact, he was treated almost as badly as are the Freshmen in A.H.S." Watkins: "There used to be lots of steamboats on the Mississippi, but now a railroad hugs each of its banks." Howard: "Shame on them." Watkins (in history): "Miss Measor, are you a native son of California?" Miss Walker: "Mr. Tipton, I did not hear what you said." Tipton: "Neither did I." Watkins (Scrub history): "One day I visited a lunatic asylum, and I stayed there, too, [laughter from class] long enough to observe that those people acted more sensible than the members of this class do." Helena Goodale (when asked if Galen Gould could go to the picnic): "Galen Gould may do as he pleases. I have nothing to say yet about the way he acts." Skinnny Howard: He hath a lean and hungry look. Lillian Clabaugh: Here, there and everywhere. Esther Hedstrom: Who chooseth me shall get as much as he deserves. Irene Mills: Hear me, for I will speak. Margaret Tedrick: Silence is golden skirt." Smith (Physics): "Horse power is what a real horse does in one second." Mr. Walker: "Perhaps you mean an ordinary horse." Mr. Watkins (in Med. history): "What is a friar?" Cadman: "A spring chicken." Yorba (entering English room and looking at exam. on board): "Whew." Miss Walker: "Is it too warm in here?" Yorba: "No; but that exam's too hot." Mr. Watkins: "I have the Stamp Act in my pocket. I am reading it now." Robertson (Physics): "Pressure is the pressure of one square, cubic centimeter." Howard: "When the governor dies or goes away, the lieutenant governor takes his place until he comes back." Abbott (in Ancient history): "Who was Marathon? Oh, yes, he was a town." E. Asher: "Is ice a gas?" Wilkie (emphatically, in debate): "The high school graduates want to higher themselves, instead of lowering themselves." Lewis: "Neptune was the feed of the gods." Webb (translating Latin): "Then there was a terrible fight between the carts and wagons." Schrott: "Over the hilltops they saw a bacon light." Miss Walker: "When was Caesar to wear his crown?" Webb (suddenly attentive): "On his head, I suppose." E. Fraser (after Symphony concert): "I wish Madam Reache was my wife, so she could sing to me all the time." Storm (a Soph, writing a composition on the treatment of Shylock in the Merchant of Venice, sums up his abuses by saying): "Shylock was abused at every turn; in fact, he was treated almost as badly as are the Freshmen in A.H.S.") Watkins: "There used to be lots of steamboats on the Mississippi, but now a railroad hugs each of its banks." Howard: "Shame on them." Watkins (in history): "Miss Measor, are you a native son of California?" Miss Walker: "Mr. Tipton, I did not hear what you said.) Tipton: "Neither did I.” Watkins (Scrub history): "One day I visited a lunatic asylum, and I stayed there, too, [laughter from class] long enough to observe that those people acted more sensible than the members of this class do。” Helena Goodale (when asked if Galen Gould could go to the picnic): "Galen Gould may do as he pleases. I have nothing to say yet about the way he acts.""" Skinnny Howard: He hath a lean and hungry look. Lillian Clabaugh: Here, there and everywhere. Esther Hedstrom: Who chooseth me shall get as much as he deserves. Irene Mills: Hear me, for I will speak. Margaret Tedrick: Silence is gold-enclosed skirt. Todrick: "How did they do it?" Watkins: "How does a girl usually capture a man?" Jones (discussing murder cases): "If a murderer was to die three times would they keep on hanging him until he was dead?" E. Spaeth (translating Latin): "He embraced Caesar with many tears." Miss McDill: "Oh, is that so? I always supposed he embraced him with his arms." FOUND—Cephens consulted the oracle of Ammonia (Ammon). H. Storm. FOUND—A litter of ammonia in Physics, by Elsa Asher. FOUND by Esther Hedstrom, that the Chinese used instruments of WANTED—Someone to solve the mystery of how long Miss Hayler has taught school. No reward offered except for reliable information. concussion (percussion). FOUND—That the Japs were fighting the elephants (elements), by Miss Ames. FOUND—That Coronado wandered a round the country and had a terrible voyage all over the country, by S. Tipton. FOUND, by Esther Hedstrom, who ate Roger Williams. FOUND—That bologna came from the name of Bellona, the war goddess. See Walter Spaeth. FOUND—That Mr. Walker is not a board, but on the Board. FOUND, in Recessional, by C. Beebe—"Still stand thine ancient sacrifice, an humble and a concrete heart." LOST, STRAYED, or STOLEN—The bus in a palm tree on March 9. Occupants were said to have escaped with nothing more serious than a few dates. FOUND—Men die oftener than they used to. Mr. Walker. FOR SALE—One hair net in good condition. Mr. Walker. FOR SALE—(Demonstrations free)—Patents on latest aeroplanes. Geo. Hedstrom. FOR SALE—New Geometry based on theory, "Geometry approaches a limit." All orders will be taken by L. Waller. WANTED to know, by G. Gervais—Where the country is in which the women can propose. WANTED to know, by Hazel Cox—"What's the matter with loving?" WANTED—a Mr. DeWhite (probably lost in the States). L. Clabaugh. FOUND—Mr. Watkins declares that he has found education does not need anybody with sense. FOUND, by Mattie Lou Robertson—That there were 18 legislators in one body. LOST, STRAYED, or STOLEN—About 23 volumes of back composition work. Miss Walker. LOST—the date of one Junior party. LOST—Wienies on a certain day. Senior Class. TPOIN is weak in a certain subject and he studies with another person, he gets used to leaning on that person." Watkins: "One thousand Hessians were captured by one thousand girls in one winter." Tedrick: "How did they do it?" Watkins: "How does a girl usually capture a man?" Jones (discussing murder cases): "If a murderer was to die three times would they keep on hanging him until he was dead?" E. Spaeth (translating Latin): "He embraced Caesar with many tears." Miss McDill: "Oh, is that so? I always supposed he embraced him with his arms." FOUND—Coronado wandered a round the country and had a terrible voyage all over the country, by S. Tipton. FOUND, by Esther Hedstrom, who ate Roger Williams. FOUND—That bologna came from the name of Bellona, the war goddess. See Walter Spaeth. FOUND—That Mr. Walker is not a board, but on the Board. FOUND, in Recessional, by C. Beebe—"Still stand thine ancient sacrifice, an humble and a concrete heart." LOST, STRAYED, or STOLEN—The bus in a palm tree on March 9. Occupants were said to have escaped with nothing more serious than a few dates. FOUND—Men die oftener than they used to. Mr. Walker. FOR SALE—One hair net in good condition. Mr. Walker. FOR SALE—(Demonstrations free)—Patients on latest aeroplanes. Geo. Hedstrom. FOR SALE—New Geometry based on theory, "Geometry approaches a limit." All orders will be taken by L. Waller. WANTED to know, by G. Gervais—Where the country is in which the women can propose. WANTED to know, by Hazel Cox—"What's the matter with loving?" WANTED—a Mr. DeWhite (probably lost in the States). L. Clabaugh. FOUND—Mr. Watkins declares that he has found education does not need anybody with sense. FOUND, by Mattie Lou Robertson—That there were 18 legislators in one body. LOST, STRAYED, or STOLEN—About 23 volumes of back composition work. Miss Walker. LOST—the date of one Junior party. LOST—Wienies on a certain day. Senior Class. Water is very cheesy Irrigation Company pany is now out of stock but fortunate in not more wells or spend new installation. The Irrigation Company is not representative. Visually referred to her value of its water pumping with a low number of wells in order to rest on an acre water $26 is only $1.56; she made by the company of a cent per miner; members, while other companies at all companies as in the Dimas Irrigation Coors for water meet except when there is large expense such as construction of new machinery pose the stock is as of the companies geese sessions for five or charge made to meet more nearly the ordinal expenses; for it is intended be a profit in the nonmembers. In the Company the charge plus, and a dividend fair average for their delivery to irrigator plant is $18 per cover crop is irriger this may be raised. Water pumped at ten is sold, and thus from 2-12 to 5 cents per hour. Such plants treated primarily for t Helena Goodale (when asked if Galen Gould could go to the picnic): "Galen Gould may do as he pleases. I have nothing to say yet about the way he acts." Skinny Howard: He hath a lean and hungry look. Lillian Clabaugh: Here, there and everywhere. Esther Hedstrom: Who chooseth me shall get as much as he deserves. Irene Mills: Hear me, for I will speak. Margaret Tedrick: Silence is golden. Will Jones: All the world loves a lover. Soph (next day): "G.E.D. means good erat Desdemondna (Othello's wife.)" Ralph Jayne (first day): "Do I have to take that old free hand Latin?" H. Howard: "How long before it will be as flat as a pancake?" Miss Walker: "Are the inmates of the asylum allowed free intercourse?" Howard (in surprise: "I don't know.") Miss Walker (Classic Myths): "When Apollo chased the nymph, what became of her?" Webb: "Why, she was changed into a poplar tree and stayed green ever after just like Apollo." Miss McDill (in second year German): "Guten Morgan, Herschaften. Do you know what Herschaften means ladies and gentlemen?" Lewis (who never knows his lesson): "Did she say 'lazy gentlemen'?" Miss Walker: Cute is now a slang word. Express its meaning in good English." Lewis: "Oh, knobby." Miss W.: "That is slang, too." Lewis: "Oh, it means funny." Miss W.: "Anything more?" Lewis: "Oh, sweet." Miss W.: "Is that all?" Lewis: "Oh, interesting." Miss W.: "Is that all cute is?" Lewis: "Oh, oh, amusing." Miss W.: "Anything more?" Lewis: "Oh, yes, it is fascinating." Morthland: "He's afraid he'll get stung." March 8—And Lensing sneezed. WANTED to know, by Hazel Cox—"What's the matter with loving?" WANTED—A Mr. DeWhite (probably lost in the States). L. Clabaugh. FOUND—Mr. Watkins declares that he has found education does not need anybody with sense. FOUND, by Mattle Lou Robertson—That there were 18 legislators in one body. LOST, STRAYED, or STOLEN—About 23 volumes of back composition work. Miss Walker. LOST—The date of one Junior party. LOST—Wienies on a certain day. Senior Class. LOST, STRAYED, or STOLEN—One debate with Huntington Beach. A. U.H.S. LOST—a room in which magazines are examined. E. Whitney, etc. FOUND—Charley Brisco and 16 other good-looking gentlemen, on April 15. References demanded before individuals may leave my care. Mr. Turner. WANTED—a birch switch guaranteed to keep Scrubs in order. Mr. Watkins. WANTED—a net to keep the Beebes away. Myrtle Hein. WANTED—a tall individual to accompany me after the curfew blows. Mr. Culp. FOUND—On the day of the Orange County trackmeet, the first three places in the half-mile race. A.U. H.S. FOUND—One debate with Fullerton. A.U.H.S. WANTED—To learn if my water comes from the Anaheim Union Water Co., Mr. Watkins. A rush, a bang, a fearful roar. The ceiling must have kissed the floor. But calm your fears and ease your cares; "Tis only Spud and Comstock on the stairs. A MINER'S INCH OF WATER Its Value, as Judged by Irrigation Experts The value of a miner's inch of canyon water, according to a bulletin of the U.S. Department of Agriculture dealing with irrigation in Pomona valley, varies from $1500 to as high as nonmembers. In the Company the charge plus, and a dividend fair average for the delivering to irrigatoring plant is $18 per a cover crop is irrigated this may be raised. Water pumped at ten is sold, and the from 2 1-2 to 5 cents per hour. Such planted primarily for owners, who are no charge for at cost of attendance about $3 per day of The tests of 1905 shaping of pumping for fruit of 10 to 100 horsepower 100 to 300 feet, vary $90 per acre-foot. The application ofards requires, as such expenditure of $193 for a 10-acre orcharlest on this, which mounts to $1. per An irrigator is paid per hour when hired es for seven irrigate hours each for 10 per acre. Where a grown there are no irrigations and the acre. This makes obtaining and apply about $24 per acre, the cost of a water sections of the West- $2500 in some localities. The value of pumped water is not less than $1000 per miner's inch. A continuous flow of 1 miner's inch is used to irrigate on an average about 8 acres, thus making the minimum investment per acre $125, and the interest at 6 per cent thereon $7.50 per year. The cost of pumping, as ascertained from the water charges and assessments of the several companies in this section, averages about 2 1-2c. per miner's inch per hour, or $15 per acre-foot. The cost of pumping for citrus fruits may be said to average $12 per acre, allowing a duty of eight-tenths of an acre-foot per acre. The methods used by the various companies for securing funds for operation vary somewhat. The Del Monte Irrigation Company is representative of those which secure all funds by assessments on the stock. The assessments in the company aggregate 75 cents per share of $9.75 per acre, there being 13 shareholders per acre. This, together with the interest on the investment in water rights, makes the total cost of water at the point of delivery $17.25 per acre per annum. The company, however, has been paying $5000 of indebtedness annually. This indebtedness has now been cleared and the assessments may be reduced a fourth or a third. Water is very cheap in the Palomares Irrigation Company. This company is now out of debt, and it has been fortunate in not having to bore more wells or spend much money on new installation. The Irrigation Company of Pomona is not representative. Conditions previously required to have depressed These figures, however, have little meaning unless considered in relation to the total cost of production of citrus fruits and the net return to the grower. The number of boxes of fruit produced per acre varies through a wide range and depends, among other things, on the location, the age of the trees, the care of the orchard, the variety of the fruit, and the season. A crop of 300 boxes per acre is obtained sometimes, but even on a well-managed grove in full bearing 200 boxes of oranges per acre is an exceptional average. The average number of boxes of oranges produced per acre in California for eleven years on an acreage which increased from 30,193 in 1898 to 104,073 in 1908 is 155. The average number of boxes of lemons produced on an acreage increasing from 6518 to 16,718 in the same period is 66, but it is only in the last five or six years that orchardists have known how to grow good crops of lemons. Now they not only produce more, the average production for the last five years being 101 boxes per acre, but the lemons are of much better quality. In general,the trees bear heavier near the coast than in the interior, although orchards in the coast sections are more troubled with scale and must be fumigated more frequently. Pomona, being centrally located, should be representative. The selling price of citrus fruits varies to a great degree. The cost of marketing is deducted from the gross receipts by the fruit exchange before the grower is paid for his fruit. This includes packing, and selling at 37 cents per box for oranges and 64 cents per box for citrus fruits. by attractions of the country other than the profits in fruit growing, but there is a fair profit even on the large investment, and the high cost of irrigation is fully warranted. ALFALFA The cost of irrigation is a much larger part of the total cost of production for alfalfa than for fruit. Water seldom is measured carefully when sold for alfalfa, and the customary charge for heads of approximately 60 miner's inches from private plants is 85 cents per hour, or about 1 1-3 cents per miner's inch an hour. At this rate an acre-foot costs $8, and with a duty of 2.4 acre-feet per acre the cost of water delivered is $19.20 per acre. The tests made in 1905 show the cost of pumping for alfalfa to vary from $5 to $25 per acre-foot for the plants of 10 to 30 horsepower, and with lifts of 10 to 100 ft., the majority being 30 to 60 feet. A representative plant has a 12-inch well 400 feet deep, a 25 horsepower gasoline engine, and a No. 5 centrifugal pump, and cost $3000. The total lift is 50 feet, of which 10 feet is suction, and 60 miner's inches, or 540 gallons,per minute are pumped. It is necessary to run the plant 640 hours to irrigate 40 acres four times. The cost of operation may be summarized as follows: Fuel, 3 gallons No. 2 grade engine distillate per hour, at 8 cents a gallon, $153.60. Attendance, part of the time of one man, 5 cents per hour, $32.00. Repairs (estimated), $30.00. Interest, 6 per cent first cost, $180. Taxes, 1 per cent first cost, $30.00. has been paying $5000 of indebtedness annually. This indebtedness has now been cleared and the assessments may be reduced a fourth or a third. Water is very cheap in the Palomares Irrigation Company. This company is now out of debt, and it has been fortunate in not having to bore more wells or spend much money on new installation. The Irrigation Company of Pomona is not representative. Conditions previously referred to have depreciated the value of its water rights and the pumping with a low lift of a large number of wells in one clenaga makes the cost unusually low. The interest on an acre water right valued at $26 is only $1.56, the charge for water made by the company is five-sixths of a cent per miner's inch per hour, and the annual assessments average $4 per acre. The San Dimas Irrigation Company charges 2 cents per miner's inch per hour to members and 3 cents to nonmembers. Its water rights are valued at $100 per acre. The charges for water will meet all ordinary expenses. Out of fourteen small companies for which the charges were learned, eight charge 2 cents per miner's inch per hour, three charge 1 1-2 cents, and the others three-fourths of a cent 1 1-4, 3 1-2, and 5 cents, respectively. Some of these companies also deliver to nonmembers at rates 25 to 50 per cent higher than the charge to members, while others do not deliver to nonmembers at all. In the small companies, as in the case of the San Dimas Irrigation Company, the charges for water meet all expenses, except when there is some unusually large expense, such as the installation of new machinery, for which purpose the stock is assessed, and most of the companies get on without assessments for five or six years. The charge made to members represents more nearly the ordinary running expenses, for it is intended that there be a profit in the sale of water to nonmembers. In the Citrus Water Company the charge produced a surplus, and a dividend was declared. A fair average for the annual cost of delivering to irrigators from the pumping plant is $18 per acre, and when a cover crop is irrigated in the winter this may be raised to $22. Water pumped at private plants often is sold, and the charges vary from 2 1-2 to 5 cents per miner's inch per hour. Such plants are constructed primarily for the use of their than in the interior, although orchards in the coast sections are more troubled with scale and must be fumigated more frequently. Pomona, being centrally located, should be representative. The selling price of citrus fruits varies to a great degree. The cost of marketing is deducted from the gross receipts by the fruit exchange before the grower is paid for his fruit. This includes packing, and selling at 37 cents per box for oranges and 64 cents per box for lemons, and 84 cts. per box for freight, either for oranges or lemons. There is a refrigeration charge also of 15 to 25 cents per box for fully one-half of the oranges. The average net price per box received for oranges has been as low as 75 cents some years and as high as $1.50 other years. The variation in the price of lemons has been about as great. The net prices for single shipments have a much wider range. The records show that the average net price for all fruit delivered at the packing houses of the fruit exchange for several years is $1.14 per box for oranges and $1.41 per box for lemons. If an orange orchard produces 155 boxes of fruit to the acre, and the return is $1.14 per box, the grower receives the sum of $176.70 per acre. This, however, is not all profit, as the cost of producing the fruit is yet to be deducted. The cost of irrigation, cultivation, and fertilization is the largest. The cost of fertilizer varies more than any other item. Some orchardists use little fertilizer, but as a rule their profits are small. The useful age of the orange tree under unnatural conditions has not yet been determined, and longer experience may teach, on the other hand, that the forcing of the trees by fertilizing to too great an extreme is unwise. The practice on some well-kept orange orchards is to use 10 tons of stable manure per acre, at a cost of $2 to $2.75 per ton, and 10 pounds of commercial fertilizer per acre, at 2 cents per pound each year. In most localities trees must be fumigated at intervals of two to five years. This costs $15 to $25 per acre, depending upon the size and condition of the trees. Pruning costs $4 to $6 per acre for oranges and more for lemons. Picking and hauling costs 8 cents per box for oranges and 26 cents per box for lemons. The following represents the average cost per acre of production, together with picking and hauling, for oranges: Fuel, 3 gallons No. 2 grade engine distillate per hour, at 8 cents a gallon, $153.60. Attendance, part of the time of one man, 5 cents per hour, $32.00. Repairs (estimated), $30.00. Interest, 6 per cent first cost, $180. Taxes, 1 per cent first cost, $30.00. Depreciation, 13 per cent first cost, $390.00. Total, $815.60. The total cost is thus $1.27 per hour—a little over 2 cents per hour for each miner's inch of water pumped, or $12.85 per acre-foot. WHY THE TURKEY IS BALD The Indians of our country have many legends connected with certain peculiar habits or customs prevalent among them. If one should chance to visit the home of an old Indian he would perhaps notice a turkey wing hanging near the fire. This the Indian uses to fan his fire into a flame and make it burn brightly, or perhaps in the sultry days of summer to fan himself. If asked why he uses the turkey wing instead of the wing of any other bird he would no doubt relate the following story: Many years ago the fire of the world was nearly extinguished; this happened just at the beginning of the winter season. The birds of the air were filled with anxiety, for their intuition told them that they would need heat to keep them warm through the winter. A bird council was held, and it was decided that birds which could fly the highest should soar into the air and see if they could find a spark of fire anywhere. The efforts of the eagle, lark and raven were in vain. The honor was left to the little brown sparrow, who spied a spark of fire in the hollow of an old stump in the heart of a deep forest. The birds flocked around the stump and tried to decide who should pick the spark out. But all their efforts were in vain; to their dismay they saw the spark growing smaller and fainter. The turkey then volunteered to try to keep the tiny coal alive by fanning it with its wings. Day after day the turkey kept fanning; the heat became greater each day, until the feathers were singed off the turkey's head. If one notices carefully he will see lumps on the head of a turkey that appear as blisters. It is believed that the turkey was nonmembers. In the Citrus Water Company the charge produced a surplus, and a dividend was declared. A fair average for the annual cost of delivering to irrigators from the pumping plant is $18 per acre, and when a cover crop is irrigated in the winter this may be raised to $22. Water pumped at private plants often is sold, and the charges vary from 2 1-2 to 5 cents per miner's inch per hour. Such plants are constructed primarily for the use of their owners, who are often not desirous of selling water if they do sell, there must be paid to them to aid in replacing the plant when the machinery is worn out. The depreciation, together with taxes and interest, for pumping plants is about 20 per cent per year, or $600 on an investment of $3000. The cost of pumping at private plants varies more than at company plants, because often there is no charge for attendance. The cost of attendance at small plants is about $3 per day of twelve hours and $3.50 per day of twenty-four hours. The tests of 1905 show that the cost of pumping for fruit at private-plants of 10 to 100 horsepower, with lifts of 100 to 300 feet, varied from $10 to $90 per acre-foot. The application of water to orchards requires, as stated before, an expenditure of $193 for a head line for a 10-acre orchard, and the interest on this, which, at 6 per cent, amounts to $1.4 per acre per annum. An irrigator is paid about 25 cents per hour when hired, and his services for seven irrigations of twelve hours each for 10 acres costs $2.10 per acre. Where a cover crop is grown there are not less than nine irrigations and the cost is $2.70 per acre. This makes the total cost of obtaining and applying the water about $24 per acre, or as much as the cost of a water right in some sections of the West. Cost per acre of raising oranges: Irrigation ... $24.00 Fertilizer ... 40.00 Pruning ... 5.00 Cultivation ... 20.00 Fumigation ... 7.00 Taxes ... 8.00 Picking and hauling ... 12.40 Total ... $116.40 Using $176.70 as the return and $116.40 as the cost of production, there is left $60.30 per acre as the grower's profit and interest on his investment. Where the production, the cost, and the prices vary so greatly it is difficult to make a fair statement of the profit. The averages include many young orchards and some that are neglected sadly. Perhaps the orchard on which $40 per acre per year was spent for fertilizer produces more than the average of 155 boxes per acre. Trees over 10 years of age should give a profit of $100 per acre. Stories are current of fabulous profits from orange growing. A grove does occasionally return a large sum for a single year, but these are exceptions, and the publicity given such has left a wrong impression with many unfamiliar with the industry. The general condition of the districts as regards homes and mode of living is not always a true index to the profits of the groves, for much wealth has been brought from other sections the spark out. But all their efforts were in vain; to their dismay they saw the spark growing smaller and fainter. The turkey then volunteered to try to keep the tiny coal alive by fanning it with its wings. Day after day the turkey kept fanning; the heat became greater each day, until the feathers were singed off the turkey's head. If one notices carefully he will see lumps on the head of a turkey that appear as blisters. It is believed that the turkey was so badly burned that all turkeys since have had bald heads and wear the blisters as a memento of the bravery of the turkey. The faithful turkey lost his beautiful feathers, but he gave back fire to the world; so in his honor and as a memorial of his faithfulness the Indian uses the turkey wing to make his fire burn. FRUIT PESTS SACRAMENTO, June 13. — The State Horticultural Commission today issued a bulletin warning fruit growers against the possible entrance into California of the Mediterranean fly pest, the melon fly and the Morelos orange maggot. Particular stress is laid upon the warning against the fruit fly because that insect is probably the greatest menace to fruit and produce growers known. It feeds upon and destroys all kinds of fruit and vegetables. Its appetite is such that it can thrive on oranges and lemons as well as peaches and cherries, or eat cabbage and lettuce with a relish. This fly has appeared in the Hawaiian Islands and warning has been sent from there for the authorities in California to be on the lookout for it. In New Zealand and also Australia no remedy has been found which keeps it down or kills it off. Once introduced and having gained a foothold it would mean the destruction of the stone-fruit industry. BEES SAVE WHY DONT YOU? NATURE TEACHES US TO SAVE PUT IT INTO THE BANK NOW SO YOU'LL HAVE IT WHEN YOU NEED IT. ITS SAFE IN THE BANK JAMES J. HILL, the great railroad king, made money slinging a pick when a young man. He BANKED and SAVED his earnings. He became a contractor and mu lti-millionaire. Make OUR Bank YOUR Bank First National Bank of Anaheim Electric Power Is The Cheap Power Because: Cost of installation is less; labor for operating is saved; less floor space is required; friction and wear and tear are reduced to a minimum; repair bills are obviated; injury to building by vibration is eliminated; there is no loss in the shafting and pulleys; Electric Power Is The Cheap Power Because: Cost of installation is less; labor for operating is saved; less floor space is required; friction and wear and tear are reduced to a minimum; repair bills are obviated; injury to building by vibration is eliminated; there is no loss in the shafting and pulleys; no energy lost in getting started; always ready; always reliable; service is always perfect. Southern California Edison Co. Nagel’s Hardware 136 E. Center St., Anaheim, Cal., handles everything in light and heavy Hardware, Garden Hose, Garden Tools, Poultry Wire, Screen Wire, Lawn Mowers, Oil Stoves, Gas Stoves, Plates and Ranges, Refrigerators, Ice Cream Freezers, Queensware, Glaseware, Tinware, Graniteware, Cooking Utensils, and a full line of Palnts and Olls. A. NAGEL 136 E. Center St., Anaheim, California SOMETHING NEW TO LOOK AT In our space of this paper. You are invited to call at our store and get a 50c Poultry Book and Sample Package of Conkey's Laying Tonic, Free. No matter whether you buy or not we want you to have a book. We also carry a full line of Hay, Grain, Wood, Coal, Poultry Supplies, Stock Foods, Etc. H. H. Gardner Co. 114 N. Los Angeles St. Anaheim, Cal. C. B. HALLEY, Manager. PHONES: HOME 1542 MAIN 91 W. L. KREUSCHER Plumbing, Steam and Gas W.L.KREUSCHER Plumbing, Steam and Gas Fitting Cornice and Skylights, Hot Air Furnaces Guttering of all descriptions. All Jobbing Work promptly attended to. 124 S. Los Angeles St. - Anaheim, Cal. HOME 803; PACIFIC 2541. AnaheimSanitarium Cor. Chartres and Hermine Sts. For the care of patients suffering from non-contagious diseases. School for nurses. Board of Directors S. Kraemer, President W. M. Wickett, Vice Pres't C.E. Holcomb, Secy-Treas J .L Beebe H. A. Johnston Medical and Surgical Staff Dr. H. A. Johnston Dr. J. L. Beebe Dr. C. W. Harvey Dr. J. W. Utter Phone Main 1646 MISS. A. SLINGSLY, Supt.