anaheim-gazette 1906-02-22

Consumption There is no specific for consumption. Fresh air, exercise, nourishing food and Scott's Emulsion will come pretty near curing it, if there is anything to build on. Millions of people throughout the world are living and in good health on one lung. From time immemorial the doctors prescribed cod liver oil for consumption. Of course the patient could not take it in its old form, hence it did very little good. They can take SCOTT'S EMULSION and tolerate it for a long time. There is no oil, not excepting butter, so easily digested and absorbed by the system as cod liver oil in the form of Scott's Emulsion, and that is the reason it is so helpful in consumption where its use must be continuous. We will send you a sample free. "Yes," rejoined Jerrold, kindness." A pun which requires ex-brackets is indeed simply The Oxford scholar who porter carrying a hare streets, asked, "Prithee, thy own hare or a wig?" commentator. Nor did who, when all is said and mains the prince of Britt He puns as naturally as his babe can see the point of the crustiest dry as dust them. Theodore Hook is thought to be equal to Hood as a Hook was labored and slowison. There is an improvem Hood's puns which is and an unexpectedness even are looking for them that Frederick Locker once or to have Hood's unconsci thus: He cannot be complete Who is not humorous A man without a merry Can hardly have a fun John Hill Burton relates which to the legal mind charm of a pun. One serving a writ, had been the defendant to swallowment. In a state of great anger the officer rushed over which Lord Norbury ing, to complain of the in was met by the expression ship's hope that the writer turnable in this court." Bret Harte, by the way, ally regarded as a prot and yet among the good cling to one's memory is the "Heathen Chinee:" Concealed in his nails, which What is common in tapers Somebody has written which a candidate for even beats the record of t excepting butter, so easily digested and absorbed by the system as cod liver oil in the form of Scott's Emulsion, and that is the reason it is so helpful in consumption where its use must be continuous. We will send you a sample free. Be sure that this picture in the form of a label is on the wrapper of every bottle of Emulsion you buy. Scott & Bowne Chemists 409 Pearl Street New York joc. and $1; all druggists PUNS AND PUNSTERS A DEFINITION OF THE FORMER AND EXAMPLES OF THE LATTER. Some Specimens of the Better Class of What Is Called the "Lowest Form of Wit"—A Brilliant Coterie of British Punsters. Is the pun a legitimate form of wit? Some people think not, and Dr. Johnson said that a man who would make a pun would pick a pocket. But the fact is that the general objection to puns is because of their frequent lack of wit—that is to say, it is directed to bad puns. We do not want to discuss bad puns or even to hear them. The point is, whether good puns are admissible as legitimate and commendable expressions of humor. It is of no use to say, like Sydney Smith, that puns ought to be in bad repute, and, although one finds an incorrigible punster—often, it is true, an incorrigible bore—in every little circlet of social life, one does not find the race of pick-pockets to be increasing alarmingly in numbers. It is probable that there are a few even in these days of culture capable of appreciating the profound witticism which De Quincey discovered in the jests for which poor Ellius Lamia was put to death by Domitian. Bret Harte, by the way, ally regarded as a proffessor and yet among the good cling to one's memory is the "Heathen Chinee:" Concealed in his nails, which What is common in tapers. Somebody has written which a candidate for even beats the record of the Concealed in his palms, wi cious, What is common in palm dates. Speaking of palms re mous pun of the bishop o r when asked by a lady nicknamed Soapy Sam cause, madam. I am always to hot water and always with clean hands." Perhaps it may be said these examples are not trivial a pun is not necessarily spelling and a contortion as the writers of burlesque" papers seem to think upon words and to be read be considered witty show upon the sound and the stable.—London Tit-Bits. The Home. The home is the corner work of the state, and which tends to keep all its influence and associates cherished and encourage Enquirer. THACKERAY'S SUE A Singular Story About "The Virginia" Many American readers have wondered how to write so graphic and co count of George Warring from Fort Duquesne and through the wilderness of the Potomac, as T never seen the magnitude through which his gallant or his daring escape. It prise to many people Thackeray didn't write till, but that the well known John P. Kennedy, did story as Colonel John used to tell it: Kennedy was at a dinner with Thackeray, Anthie Wilkie Collins and other The dinner was over a were settling down to though one finds an incorrigible punster—often, it is true, an incorrigible bore—in every little circlet of social life, one does not find the race of pickpockets to be increasing alarmingly in numbers. It is probable that there are a few even in these days of culture capable of appreciating the profound witticism which De Quincey discovered in the jests for which poor Ellius Lamia was put to death by Domitian. If we want to argue the legitimacy of puns we are obliged to fall back on the old discussion as to the difference between wit and humor. The definitions are legional, of course, but not one of them is wholly satisfactory. "Knowledge comes and wisdom lingers," Tennyson says, and perhaps we might found upon this a parody, with some approach to truth—that wit sparkles and humor permeates. But there is little profit to be got in analysis of this kind. What is funny isn't necessarily witty, but what is funny must have in it or suggested by it some of the essence of humor. Thus Charles Lamb was not so far wrong when he said that the most farfetched and startling puns are the best. The familiar inquiry, "Is it true that the first apple was eaten by the first pair?" is far fetched, but one cannot deny the humor of it. Again, in the conundrum, "Why is blind man's buff like sympathy?" "Because it is a fellow feeling for a fellow creature," there is a direct application which is also unquestionably humorous. Then, as another example of a pun which is absurdly apparent, there was Douglas Jerrold's remark about a man to whom he had repeatedly written in vain for some money. "I have written him," said Jerrold to an acquaintance, "but got nothing." "Strange," said the other, "for he is a man full of kindness." "rejoined Jerrold, "unremitting less." In which requires explanation in its is indeed simply intolerable. Axford scholar who, meeting a carrying a hare through the road, asked, "Prithee, friend, is that own hare or a wig?" required no antator. Nor did Tom Hood, when all is said and done, reflect the prince of British punsters. Was as naturally as he laughs. A man see the point of his jokes and fastiest dry as dust cannot resist Adore Hook is thought by many, equal to Hood as a punster, but was labored and slow in comparThere is an impromptu air about puns which is incomparable a unexpectedness even when you looking for them that is delicious. Quick Locker once or twice seemed the Hood's unconscious ease, as cannot be complete in aught who is not humorously prone. Man without a merry thought man hardly have a funny bone. Hill Burton relates a legal joke to the legal mind has all the of a pun. One day a balliff, giving a writ, had been compelled by defendant to swallow the docuIn a state of great agitation and the officer rushed into the court, which Lord Norbury was presidcomplain of the indignity. He met by the expression of his lordhope that the writ was "not rele in this court." Harte, by the way, was not usuregarded as a professional wit, yet among the good things which one's memory is the couplet in Heathen Chinee:" led in his nails, which were taper, his common in tapers—that's wax. Ebody has written a parody in a candidate for examination meets the record of the Mongolian: led in his palms, which were spa- journey to the Potomac." “If that's what you are writing about I can do it, for I know every foot of the ground.” “All right, then,” said Thackeray, resuming his seat at the board. “Let me have it early tomorrow morning.” Mr. Kennedy withdrew and, going to his hotel, wrote the fourth chapter of the second volume of "The Virginians," and thus it happened that George Warrington’s narrative of his flight was so accurate as to the topography of the country through which he passed. England's First Direct Tax. The first direct tax that was imposed in England was borne by the people in the reign of Ethelred the Unready, A. D. 991. It was called so that money could be raised wherewith to purchase peace from the Danes, who at that period were overrunning England, but this tax defeated its own object, inasmuch as it incited the Danes, who well knew that they would be bought off at any cost, to fresh depredations, which resulted in the receipt, as bribes, of 134,000 pounds of silver. The levying of the tax was, moreover, open to great abuse, for, although no man was liable for more than one annual payment of twelvepence per hide of land, wherever money was known to exist it was demanded by the king's officers, and ability to pay once was regarded as ability to pay again. Thus were many even of the richest landowners reduced to poverty. This tax was abolished by Edward the Confessor, but revived by William I., and formed part of the revenue of the crown till suppressed by Stephen, A. D. 1136. London's Lord Mayor. The lord mayor of London is a very important personage. In his own province he takes precedence of all the royal family; he has the right of access to the king whenever he chooses. Harte, by the way, was not usuregarded as a professional wit, but among the good things which one's memory is the couplet in Heathen Chinee:" Called in his nails, which were taper, his common in tapers—that's wax. Hebody has written a parody in a candidate for examination beats the record of the Mongolian: Called in his palms, which were spacious, is common in palms—and that's states. Kaking of palms recalls the fapun of the bishop of Oxford, who asked by a lady why he was named Soapy Sam replied, "Bemadam. I am always getting int water and always coming out clean hands." Haaps it may be said that some of examples are not true puns. But it is not necessarily a twisting of ing and a contortion of syllables, the writers of burlesque and "compapers seem to think. It is play words and to be really entitled to considered witty should play both the sound and the sense, if possiLondon Tit-Bits. The Home. Home is the cornerstone and bullary of the state, and everything tends to keep alive and renew influence and associations should be heeded and encouraged.—Cincinnati er. BCKERAY'S SUBSTITUTE. Regular Story About a Chapter In "The Virginians." Any American readers of Thackhave wondered how he was able to so graphic and correct an accident of George Warrington's escape Fort Duquesne and his journey through the wilderness to the banks at Potomac, az Thackeray had seen the magnificent valley which his gallant hero fled aftedaring escape. It will be a surtate to many people to hear that Thackeray didn't write the chapter at out that well known author, P. Kennedy, did. This is the mas Colonel John H. B. Latrobe to tell it: Nemedy was at a dinner in London Thackeray, Anthony Trollope, the Collins and other celebrities. Dinner was over and the guests settling down to the wine and London's Lord Mayor. The lord mayor of London is a very important personage. In his own province he takes precedence of all the royal family; he has the right of access to the king whenever he chooses, the coveted entree at levees and drawing rooms and the privilege of driving direct into the ambassadors' court at St. James'. He has the badges of royalty—the scepter, the swords of justice and mercy and the mace—attached to his office, is a privy councilor of the king, receives the Tower password signed by the sovereign, is custodian of the city gates, a very honorary office in these days, and has the uncontrolled conservancy of the Thames from Rochester to Oxford. He controls the city purse, has many valuable appointments in his gift and is, of course, chief magistrate of the city. These are but a few of the lord mayor's dignities and privileges, but they will give some idea of his importance. A burn may result from excessive heat applied in any way—hot air or hot water, steam, flame or electricity—or even from extreme cold. The injury resulting from contact with hot water or steam is usually called a scald, but is practically the same in its results as a burn. Surgeons speak of different degrees of a burn, according to the amount of tissue destroyed by it. Thus a burn of the first degree is one that simply redens and irritates the skin; a burn of the second degree is one that causes actual inflammation of the skin with the formation of blisters, while a burn of the third degree destroys the skin and more or less of the flesh beneath it, or even chars and kills all the tissues, including the bone itself. The effects of a burn depend partly upon its degree, but not entirely, for a burn even of the first degree may cause death if it involves a very large portion of the surface of the body. This it does by interfering with the necessary excretion of waste matter which is constantly taking place through the skin. A curious effect of a severe burn in any part of the body is ulceration of the bowels following very intense congestion of the entire digestive canal. The bronchial tubes and the lungs are high which his gallant hero ned attentions daring escape. It will be a surreal to many people to hear that Thackeray didn't write the chapter at about that the well known author, Sir P. Kennedy, did. This is the case as Colonel John H. B. Latrobe told it: Thackeray was at a dinner in London where Thackeray, Anthony Trollope, and Collins and other celebrities. The dinner was over and the guests settled down to the wine and beer when Thackeray, always at his table upon a jovial occasion like the event, who was entertaining the company with his wit and satire, suddenly turned and, looking at his watch, exclaimed: "Gentlemen, I must leave you. I have promised the printer a letter of the 'Virginians' tomorrow morning, and I haven't written a line yet. I hate to go, but I must. The printer is inexorable. So, wishing all another meeting when I can longer with you, I bid you a good night." Thackeray had almost reached the end when Kennedy called him back to ask: "Perhaps I can write the chapter you. What are you going to do?"" The great novelist seemed a little disheveled at this bold proposition, but he was a perfect man of the world as too polite to say what he might. Kennedy, you are extremely kind, gladly would I let you write the letter for me, for I hate to leave a party in the midst of the fun." When don't," all the company cried. Why with us and let Mr. Kennedy be the proposed chapter." He half a mind to let you do it for the fun of the thing. It is a better chiefly of description, giving account of George Warrington's trip from Fort Duquesne and his The effects of a burn depend partly upon its degree, but not entirely, for a burn even of the first degree may cause death if it involves a very large portion of the surface of the body. This it does by interfering with the necessary excretion of waste matter which is constantly taking place through the skin. A curious effect of a severe burn in any part of the body is ulceration of the bowels following very intense congestion of the entire digestive canal. The bronchial tubes and the lungs are sometimes injured by the inhalation of steam or very hot air, but even apart from such an accident a person who has been burned about the chest or back is very liable to have an attack of bronchitis or pneumonia in consequence. The first thing to be done in the case of a burn of any degree is to stop the pain. This should be done not only from the natural impulse to relieve suffering, but because the shock resulting from the injury may be so greatly increased by the agony as to cause the death of the patient, even when the burns in themselves would not do so. Covering the part with any bland substance, such as olive oil, vaseline, sweet butter or flour paste, to keep off the air will often afford great relief, and in burns of the first degree nothing more may be needed. Carron oil, the name given to a mixture of equal quantities of linseed oil and limestone, was formerly and is still in many workshops the favorite application for a burn. Better still is bicarbonate of soda (cooking soda) or calcined magnesia, made into an ointment with vaseline or lard or dusted thickly over the skin. Another application which is often exceedingly grateful is a solution of nitrate of potash (nitre). Hunters often make a paste of gunpowder for this purpose. One or other of these applications will usually suffice in mild cases, and in severe burns will help to reduce the pain for the time until the doctor comes. —Youth's Companion. In Suits, Trousers and Shirts we lead in low prices. Largest Assortment Latest Styles Yungbluth & Kroeger 127 Center St. Phone Main 66 Remember we carry the Kuppenheimer clothing, which is considered the best. You Waste no Time on the Golden State Limited through to Chicago and St. Louis in less than three days Composite-library cars, observation cars, drawing room sleeping cars, and dining cars. Modern 16 section tourist sleepers without change to Chicago, connecting St. Louis. Daily from Los Angeles at 12:01 p.m. Southern Pacific Rock Island Inquire of Thos. A. Graham, Asst. Gen. Freight and Pass. Agt. Southern Pacific, 261 S. Spring St, corner Third, Los Angeles, or any SouthPacific agent. Composite-library cars, observation cars, drawing room sleeping cars, and wing cars. Modern 16 section tourist sleepers without change to Chicago, connecting St: Louis. Daily from Los Angeles at 12:01 p.m. Southern Pacific Rock Island Inquire of Thos. A. Graham, Asst. Gen. Freight and Pass. Agt. Southern Pacific, 261 S. Spring St, corner Third, Los Angeles, or any SouthPacific agent. To Ambitious Young People If you are of an independent and money-earning turn of mind you will be interested in the following: One year’s training in the Woodbury Business College costs $100; six months, $55. The education thus acquired will enable you to earn from $50 to $100 a month. Taking an average of $60 a month, or $720 a year, in three years you will be $2,160 ahead of your companion who has spent his four years in high school. The Woodbury gives two main courses of study: Bookkeeping and Business Course. 2 Shorthand and Typewriting Course. Either course will fit you for a good position. The two will fit you for a better one. It takes about six months to complete one course from nine months to a year to complete both. This school has unequalled prestige and success in placing graduates We shall be pleased to have you call at the college to see us. It is our business to help young people to be successful. Illustrated catalogue on request. WOODBURY Business College 809 S. Hill St., Los Angeles E. K. ISAACS, Pres. Bird V. Beebe. Vehicles Farming Implements Buggy Robes, Best Makes of Buggies. All kinds of Repair work. Pattons Farming Implements Buggy Robes, Best Makes of Buggies. All kinds of Repair work. Pattons Sun-proof Paints. Colonist Rates to California Will be in effect every day, Feb. 15 to April 7, and Sept. 15 to Oct. 31, 1906, from all points in the east and south. Following are a few: Chicago ... $33-00 St. Louis ... 30-00 Galveston ... 26-45 Kansas City & Leavenworth ... 25-00 St. Joseph & Atchison ... 25-00 Council Bluffs & Omaha ... 25-00 Dallas, Houston and Ft. Worth ... 25-00 Nearly all points in Kansas, Oklahoma and Indian Territory ... 25-00 Colonist rates are also in effect from all points east of Chicago and south of the Ohio river. Santa Fe agents in California will take deposits of money to cover price of tickets, which will be promptly furnished to passengers at any point from which these rates are in effect. California illustrated literature mailed free to any address or may be had from Santa Fe representatives. TOURIST SLEEPING CAR LINES Colonist tickets are honored in tourist sleeping cars which run via the Santa Fe to Los Angeles and San Francisco.