anaheim-gazette 1903-10-01

CAPTIVATING SIMPLICITY. The Way John Burroughs Secured a Treasury Clerkship. Early in the sixties of the last century, when Hugh McCulloch had just been appointed comptroller of the currency to organize the new department under the provisions of the national bank act, there walked into his office, unannounced, one day a stranger dressed in "store clothes" and wearing long hair. "My name is Burroughs—John Burroughs," said the visitor. "I should like to have a position in your department." "What do you know about banking?" asked the comptroller, thinking that perhaps in the unique stranger might be discovered some genius of an accountant or accountant. "Unhappily nothing," replied the applicant. "Who sent you here?" "No one." "Well, who's your congressman? To whom can you refer me?" "I know no congressman." "And you expected to get a government position without qualification for the position and without indorsement or backing of any character?" "I think I could learn office work here, and the salary would be a great help to me in my literary career." "Oh, you are a writer, are you? What's your line? Poetry, perhaps?" "I try to write poetry," confessed the visitor. "Got any of it with you?" asked the comptroller, now considerably amused. "If so, let's see it." The poet-naturalist produced a song redolent of early spring. It treated of the chewink, the oven bird and the Carolina wren, with a dainty reference to forest violets and hepatica. "This is great," commented the comptroller; "it's right out of the woods." Which is more than can be said of the author," observed Mr. Burroughs, thinking of the world of finance which he was seeking to invade. The comptroller laughed. "And is this all you have in the way of credentials?" "I have some more poems at home," was the bland and sincere reply. In much merriment the comptroller summoned an assistant. "Here's the most astonishing instance of ingenuousness I have ever encountered in public life," said he. "That man over there applies for a government position and the only backers that he can name not this department is A NAVAL ACADEMY DAY. The Rigid Routine That Rules the Middles' Waking Hours. Let us look for a moment at the division of time in a week in the academy. The morning gun awakens the young midshipman at 6 o'clock. He has thirty-five minutes to dress and appear for roll call. When this is over he and his comrades march at once to breakfast. It is then about twenty minutes before 7 o'clock. After breakfast a short prayer is offered by the chaplain. The meal is over by 7:30, and then there is the sick call. Twenty minutes later the midshipmen must be in their rooms ready to go to their first recitation. At 7:55 they form and march to their classes in squads. At 8 o'clock they are called to order in their classrooms. The actual work of the day has begun early, and there has been no lagging or loafing. At the Naval academy the midshipmen are trained to walk with a quick step and at a lively gait. The men in the class squads—from six to twelve each—march two abreast and in close formation. It does not take them long to go from one building to another. For each midshipman there are three recitation periods of two hours each. Half of each period is devoted to study, half to actual recitation in class. The first period is from 8 to 10 o'clock in the morning, the second period from 10:15 to 12:15 o'clock and the third period from 2 o'clock to 4 in afternoon. Between 12:15 and 2 o'clock the midshipmen eat their dinner and have a few minutes afterward for rest. At 4 o'clock all the class work is over, but not the work of the day, for then comes the call to drill. Drill lasts an hour and a half, and it is work, too, for the naval officer must know thoroughly the infantry and artillery practice of the soldier as well as his own particular branch of the profession of being ready to fight. When his task is over at 5:30 the midshipman has an hour and a half of recreation. This is the playtime of the day. The boys are then on the athletic field engaged in football or baseball practice, depending on the time of the year; sailing in catboats on the harbor or indulging in other amusements that they may choose. But during that hour they are still under the rules governing general conduct. When 6:55 comes the men are called to supper, and at 7:30 the midshipmen must be in their rooms again and at their books. The study period is two LOOKING FOR TROUBLE. The Men and Women Who Chip on Their Shoulders. The really unhappy man whose happiness is his own fault is that who is forever carrying "a chip on his shoulder." Perhaps his happiness is his unhappiness, for when he engaged in a personal altercation brooding over some fancied slight awaiting a favorable opportunity give vent to his wrath. The man with the chip on his side is easily recognized, and his side by wise people is carefully avoided can go nowhere without trouble facing in his wake. If he attends an after he is either annoyed by the man or some one in the audience or a man in the box office for not sold him a seat bought long before appeared at the window. He bane of the car conductor, and on railroad train he succeeds in embark himself in a row with the brake conductor, Pullman car porter and passengers. Each flying cinderel of the locomotive is aimed especially his eyes, and he succeeds in stirring the spirit of mutiny in the hearth travelers. There are some women similarly stituted, who manage to be in touch from the moment their eyes open on the morning till they close their sleep. These people are indeed pitted, if indeed they are not coated. This quarrelsome habit can be so fostered that the pet grows to be a malignant disease leads sometimes to the insane Parents who notice in their case this fretful, quarrelling disposition easily find a remedy. They may agree to the measure—simply sound thrashing. Every one has of the story of the child who initially whimpering and quarrel in despair the mother cried: "A sick? What do you want?" (Or she child answered, "I think, my I want a whipping." She receiveth whipping, and there was a marvel provement in her temper—Sandisco Post. Major Pond and Bill Ny More than one successful lecture had to thank Major Pond for his He had keen discrimination and infrequently sought opt and upon the lecture platform an genius who never thought to self before the footlights. Genius was Bill Nye. When th "Which is more than can be said of the author," observed Mr. Burroughs, thinking of the world of finance which he was seeking to invade. The comptroller laughed. "And is this all you have in the way of credentials?" "I have some more poems at home," was the bland and sincere reply. In much merriment the comptroller summoned an assistant. "Here's the most astonishing instance of ingenuousness I have ever encountered in public life," said he. "That man over there applies for a government position and the only backers that he can name are the muses. Yet this department is not political, and somehow I'm inclined to put the fellow to work. I am captivated by the man's honest simplicity." So John Burroughs was set to work as a treasury clerk. No appointment ever before had been secured on such a basis and no one since has had the temerity in asking for a government job to cite song birds and wild flewers as his only references. Some of Mr. Burroughs' old colleagues are still in the treasury service. In telling this story of his appointment they dwell with emphasis upon the excellent work he did in the department, earning rapid promotions and finally securing the responsible position of receiver for a failed national bank in New York, the affairs of which he settled satisfactorily both to the creditors and the government.—Saturday Evening Post. His Long Sermon. A Philadelphia clergyman used to relate the following on himself: "I preached a funeral sermon at one time and spoke on the resurrection. I am sure I spoke longer than was my custom. "The undertaker was a man of nervous temperament, and as the afternoon was going he began to be anxious to be on the way to the cemetery. He finally whispered to one of my members, 'Does your minister always preach as long as that at a funeral?' "Well,' said the brother, 'that is a good sermon.'" "Yes,' said the undertaker, 'the sermon is all right, and I believe in the resurrection, but I am afraid if he does not stop pretty soon I will not get this man buried in time.'"—Philadelphia Ledger. She Peeked. A gentleman tells a good story on his betrothed sister. Visiting his home after a long absence, he was sitting by the side of his sister, with his arm around her waist. Her head drooped on his shoulder in the old, old way. An aunt in the same room enjoyed the affectionate display and remarked, "Why, that looks as if it might be Will"—the name of the young lady's sweetheart. "Indeed," she replied, "you never saw Will in this position." "Maybe I have," said the auntie. "Well, if you did you peeked," was the parting shot, which was a practical admission of the soft impeachment. A Dangerous Item. "I see that choice Bengal tigers have been marked down to $1,000 each." "For goodness' sake, don't let my wife read that paragraph! Here's my knife When Robespierre Was "Stung." Under the terror Robespierre used to play a peaceful game of chess at the Cafe Regence, and the story is told of a youth who once challenged him and beat him twice. Robespierre, after his defeat, asked how much he owed, no stakes having been previously fixed. The supposed youth, who in reality was a girl in man's clothes, presented an order for the release of her lover from prison, and Robespierre signed it. Napoleon Bonaparte during his consulship was seen at the famous cafe, but he showed himself no tactician at chess—London Telegraph. Just In Hard Luck. Irate Guest (to walter)—Look here! Didn't I order a Swiss cheese sandwich? Polite Walter—Yes, sir, and there it is. Irate Guest—There are two slices of as his own particular branch of the profession of being ready to fight. When his task is over at 5:30 the midshipman has an hour and a half of recreation. This is the playtime of the day. The boys are then on the athletic field engaged in football or baseball practice, depending on the time of the year; sailing in catboats on the harbor or indulging in other amusements that they may choose. But during that hour they are still under the rules governing general conduct. When 6:55 comes the men are called to supper, and at 7:30 the midshipmen must be in their rooms again and at their books. The study period is two hours long. There is a half hour's relaxation before bedtime, during which the young men may visit each other's rooms, but at 10 o'clock all lights must be out. For five days in the week this is the unvarying routine, with the exception of two hours' liberty Wednesday afternoon for the first class. On Saturday and Sunday there is a change. Varying with the length of time which they have spent in the academy, liberty is granted to all midshipmen on these two days of the week. The members of all four classes are permitted to leave the grounds after the roll call to dinner, but they must return before the formation for supper. After the supper call the members of the first and second classes have permission to go again beyond the academic limits, but they are required to be back by 9:30. They may or may not eat their supper at the academy mess, as they desire, but they must always report for roll call. In this way the authorities of the institution keep a finger on them.—Leslie's Weekly. An Impromptu Explanation. The learned Porsson was staying at one time with a well known canon of Ely named Jeremiah King. One day at dinner, when they had got into discussion upon questions of etymology, Porsson gave a derivation which King considered to be so far fetched as to be quite ridiculous. "You might as well say," said King, "that my name is connected with cucumber." Possibly there was a cucumber on the table. "And so it is," said Porsson. "How so?" asked King. "Why, thus: Jeremiah King, by contraction Jerry King; Jerry King, by contraction and metathesis Gherkin, and gherkin, we know, is a cucumber pickled." Do You Want to Yawn? Feel cold shiverings, aching bones, lack of energy, head great depression? These are may be followed by violent high fever, extreme nervousness known as malaria. It takes it before gets a fair hold, though it wakes cure in any stage. J. A. Hopkinson chester, Kan., writes: "I buy your great medicine. Herbineal years. There is nothing for malaria, chills and fever, billiousness, and for a blood-tonic, there is nothing as good at J. P. Hatzfeld's. He'd Better Trade Here. There is a certain Yorkshire has won considerable fame as wealth as an expert handler of home, a charming wife and a year-old boy. An aunt in the same room enjoyed the affectionate display and remarked, "Why, that looks as if it might be Will"—the name of the young lady's sweetheart. "Indeed," the sister replied, "you never saw Will in this position." "Maybe I have," said the auntie. "Well, if you did you peeked," was the parting shot, which was a practical admission of the soft impeachment. A Dangerous Item. "I see that choice Bengal tigers have been marked down to $1,000 each." "For goodness' sake, don't let my wife read that paragraph! Here's my knife Out it out. If those tigers are on the bargain counter she'd want at least two."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Lytton's Good Catch. Bulwer-Lytton was once entertaining at Knebworth a young Australian when the visitor from Melbourne, shy and clumsy, took from the mantelpiece a piece of china lately given his host by a grateful colonial. It slipped out of his hands. In another moment it would have been shivered upon the hearth. The host, from his sofa, saw what had happened, was up in an instant, stretched out his hand and caught the bowl just ere it descended on the marble. "Fielded, by Jove! But I save my crockery, which I would rather not have written 'Money' than have lost," cried the novelist. The Rich Man's Plaint. I don't see what good my money does me. I can't eat. I never saw it in its entirety. I dress no better than my private secretary and have a much smaller appetite than my coachman. I live in a big barn of a house, am pestered to death by beggars, have dyspepsia, and most of my money is in the hands of others, who use it mainly for their own benefit.—New York Press. Taste For Color. Our hero beat his young wife until she was black and blue. "The feminine characters in a society novel are so apt to be colorless," said he in explanation of the seaming gaucherie.—Detroit Free Press. Asked and Answered. Irate Father—Ah! How is it that I catch you kissing my daughter, sir? Answer me, sir; how is it? Young Man—Fine, sir; fine!—Philadelphia Ledger. Just In Hard Luck. Irate Guest (to waiter)—Look here! Didn't I order a Swiss cheese sandwich? Pollite Walter—Yes, sir, and there it is. Irate Guest—There are two slices of bread, but can you find any cheese on them? Polite Walter—I'm sorry, sir. The cheese is there all right, only you happened to hit on one of the holes.—New York Times. Modern Athletic Training. The trainer of a generation ago would simply have stood agast at the sweets and other savory food stuffs eaten by your modern rowing or running collegians. Yet it may be doubted if the physique either of the individual athlete or of the nation ever stood at a higher general standard of "fitness." One pertinent fact with regard to training is that both past tradition and present practice condemn with emphatic voice the use of tobacco and alcohol and other indulgences to which healthy man—wonderful animal that he is—unhappily prone. So long as the main principles of temperance, plain livin and abundant exercise are carefully applied to the man in training so long will the results be likely to succeed. Every human being living under reasonably good conditions of environment ought to be, like the healthy schoolboy, always in a state of "training."—Medical Press. A Good Reason. Mrs. Greene—What do you have an alarm clock in your chamber for if you don't have the alarm wound up? Mrs. Gray—If you could have heard the awful things my husband said when the alarm went off, you wouldn't ask me.—Boston Transcript. Do as They Please. Dick—Those folks next door have an awful good time. Dora—How? Dick—Oh, they don't have to go anywhere, and they don't entertain.—Exchange. He'd Better Trade Her There is a certain Yorkshire has won considerable fame wealth as an expert handler of He is also the possessor of home, a charming wife and a year-old boy. The latter is the delight ther's heart, and the little only knows lots of horse talk, a keen delight in a mild air holding the reins over a fast pace. The wee horseman has picked habit of calling his parents first names, and the way in which them is decidedly cunning. One day not long ago his father home in a hurry and found that wasn't ready. "What do you think of small man?" he cried laughingly tossed the 8-year-old in the nip papa come home in a terrible no lunchon ready. What our do with such a terrible mammal? The little fellow's eyes sparkle. "Trade her off, Harry; trade her off," Pearson's Weekend. Ethel—Do you really think tenant will propose to Beth? Edith—Oh, yes. He has medals for bravery, you know. Did MacMerger inherit him? "Indirectly. He inherited it to get the best of others." The jaw bone is the funniest humorous orator. Eruption The only way to give pimples and other tions is to cleanse them improve the digestion regulate the kidneys, live skin. The medicine to Hood's Sarsaparphus Which has cured thou BOOKING FOR TROUBLE. Men and Women Who Carry Chips on Their Shoulders. The really unhappy man whose unhappiness is his own fault is the one who forever carrying "a chip upon his shoulder." Perhipps his happiness is unhappiness, for when he is not engaged in a personal altercation he is fighting over some fancied slight and getting a favorable opportunity to vent to his wrath. The man with the chip on his shoulder easily recognized, and his societyise people is carefully avoided. He goes nowhere without trouble follow-on his wake. If he attends a thee is either annoyed by the usher some one in the audience or at the box office for not having him a seat bought long before he shared at the window. He is the one of the car conductor, and on the road train he succeeds in embroiling himself in a row with the brakeman,ductor, Pullman car porter and theengers. Each flying cinder from locomotive is aimed especially at eyes, and he succeeds in stirring up spirit of mutiny in the hearts of travelers. There are some women similarly contorted, who manage to be in trouble on the moment their eyes open in morning till they close them in night. These people are indeed to be freed, if indeed they are not cordially freed. This quarrelsome habit of mind be so fostered that the petulancy news to be a malignant disease and its sometimes to the insane asylum. Parents who notice in their children a frettful, quarreling disposition can only find a remedy. They may not free to the measure—simply a good, thrashing. Every one has heard the story of the child who was consequently whimpering and quarrelling, despairing the mother cried: "Are you sick? What do you want?" Gravely child answered, "I think, mamma, want a whipping." She received the shipper, and there was a marked movement in her temper.—San Francisco Post. Major Pond and Bill Nye. More than one successful lecture star had to thank Major Pond for his start. He had keen discrimination and not frequently sought out and dragged on the lecture platform an obscure sinus who never thought to see him before the footlights. Such a sinus was Bill Nye. When the major ROMANCE IN VARIED GUISE. Definition of the Word Is Susceptible of Wide Diversification. What is romance? Even the colloquial use of the term is varied. When we say "you are romancing" or call anything romantic as distinguished from what is real or what is true we mean one thing, but quite another when we apply the term romantic to natural scenery. And in this application we must distinguish between the effect upon us of that which we call romantic because of human associations with certain sights or sounds and that wildness of nature which we call romantic because of its absolute dissociation from any being human. Keeping out of mind the use of the word in artiste and literary criticism, let us try to find what element of reconcilement there is in the diversities of colloquial usage. In all that is generally called romantic in the cases above mentioned there is the common element of strangeness. We easily revert to what must have been the original sense of the word in its connection with those medieval modifications of the Latin tongue known as the romance languages. The Saxon or Celt would have found his native tongue sufficient for all ordinary needs, but if he caught the Roman air in any way, by travel or refinement of taste and habit, he would, to meet the newly developed need, borrow the graces of the Roman speech—that is, he would romance—Harper's Magazine. Rockefeller and the Bungs. In former years John D. Rockefeller's supervision of Standard Oil company affairs took in even the smallest detail. On one occasion, according to Ida M. Tarbell in McClure's, commenting on a monthly statement, he called a refiner's attention to a discrepancy in regard to bungs, articles worth about as much in a refinery as pins are in a household: "Last month," he said to the subordinate official concerned, "you reported on hand 1,119 bungs. Ten thousand were sent you at the beginning of this month. You have used 9,527 this month. You report 1,012 on hand. What has become of the other 580?" Apparently Mr. Rockefeller's idea was: Take care of the bungs and the barrels will take care of themselves. The Mistress' Character. The London Globe prints a "character" which an English servant leaves given her mistress: "In an THE ATHLETE'S HEART. In the Rowing Man It Is Strong and Well Developed. A prominent member of the faculty of the University of Pennsylvania Medical school has made a study of the heart action of athletes. He has examined a large number of men in athletics, especially rowing men, and he has come to the conclusion that no man in perfect health who has been properly trained is injured by rowing, but that, on the contrary, his heart is so strengthened that, with a moderate amount of exercise after he has finished hisrowing career, there is no reason, so far as the heart and lungs are concerned, that he should not live to a very old age. "The heart," said he, "is both a very delicate and a very strong organ—that is, if it is well developed it will stand an enormous amount of strain without any permanent injury, but if it is not well developed it is very easily weakened. Violent exercise, like rowing, places a great deal of strain on the heart because when the body is being exerted it requires so much more pressure to force the blood through the body. Like any other muscle that is worked, the heart under the added labor becomes larger, and most athletes have extra large hearts, just as they also have larger muscles throughout the body. “If the strain is put upon the heart suddenly it dilates—it becomes larger, but not more muscular—and that is the danger in athletics. If a man exercises gradually then his heart also increases in size gradually because the muscles become larger, and this is a perfectly normal condition. It simply means that the athlete has a stronger heart than the average and can cope with the extra strain that is put upon it. A man needs a larger heart to row a race, and if gradual exercise has so provided him with one then he can safely undergo the most severe tests. "It is same way with the lungs, and they must be developed gradually until they can undertake the extra work. A man with his heart and lungs well developed is in no danger, no matter how hard the race. He may completely keel over at the end of the race, but it will likely be from sheer exhaustion, and his heart is so strong that the effect is not at all injurious. He will be as good as ever in a few moments."—Philadelphia Record. The Sea of Sahara. French engineers have declared that Major Pond and Bill Nye. Before than one successful lecture star to thank Major Pond for his start. He had keen discrimination and not frequently sought out and dragged on the lecture platform an obscure nius who never thought to see him if before the footlights. Such a nius was Bill Nye. When the major found him he was acting as postmaster and editing the Laramie Boomerang a livery stable. ("Walk down the key, twist the gray mule's tail, take the elevator immediately!") Pond persuaded him to try lecturing, and as there proved to be both money and useful publicity in it. Nye was grateful and used for years to remember the major with characteristic sites, one of which had the following haustive signature: Yours with a heart full of gratitude and full system of drugs, paints, oil, turpene, glass, putty and everything usually used in a first class drug store. BILL NYE. P.S.-Open all night. —Boston Transcript. Deafness Cannot be Cured local applications as they cannot reach diseased portion of the ear. There is only way to cure deafness, and that is by contutional remedies. Deafness is caused by inflamed condition of the mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When it is famed you have a trembling sound or immature hearing, and when it is entirely deaf, Deafness is the result, and unless the dismation can be taken out and this tute stored to its normal condition, hearing it be destroyed forever; nine cases out of 10 are caused by Catarrh, which is nothing at an inflamed condition of the mucous cancers. Will give One Hundred Dollars for any use of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that not cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Curse. and for circulars, free. F.J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O. Soid by druggists, 75c. Walls Family Plills are the best. Burglary Miss Upstarte—I notice that your mother James' wife has broken into lite society at last. Miss Hycaste—Yes, and it's a plain case of burglary. Miss Upstarte—Why so? Miss Hycaste—Didn't she use our immy to break in with? Do You Want to Yawn? Feel cold shiverings, aching in the ones, lack of energy, headache, and great depression? These symptoms may be followed by violent headache, high fever, extreme nervousness, a contition known as malaria. Herbine cries it. Take it before the disease gets a fair hold, though it will work a curre in any stage. J.A.Hopkins, Manheran, Kan., writes: "I have used our great medicine. Herbine, for several years. There is nothing better for malaria, chills and fever, headache, illusionness, and for a blood-purifying onic, there is nothing as good." 50c at J.P. Hatzfeld's. Hed Better Trade Her Off. There is a certain Yorkshire man who has won considerable fame and some wealth as an expert handler of horses. He is also the possessor of a pleasant home, a charming wife and a bright 8-year-old boy. The Mistress' Character. The London Globe prints a "character" which an English servant leaving kindly gave her mistress: "In answer to your letter, it's not a bad place; the Mrs. understands her dntys, and is slvel and obligig, but troubles about getting up early in the mornings. There is plenty, and if you don't mind a place where only one other young lady is kept besides yourself, you might give them a month's trial. I like more society, which is why I am leaving." His Narrow Logic. "IIf I had my way," said the man of high principles, "there would be no money in politics." "But," said Senator Sorghum, "if you didn't put any money in politics it isn't likely you could have your way." —Washington Star. Shoes and the Feet. "Maudle, dear, those shoes look tight. How do they feel on your feet?" "Perfectly comfortable, mamma." (To herself) "If she had asked me how my feet felt in the shoes she would have and me!" —Chicago Tribune. Anticipating Him. "Jenkins, I believe you have some of the elements of success about you." "Not a dollar, old man. Honor bright. You'd be welcome to it if I had." —Stray Stories. When our shafts fell to hit the mark we generally have a feeling that it in because the mark is too low. —Puck. Mothers Who would keep their children in good health should watch for the first symptoms of worms, and remove them with White's Cream Vermifuge. It is the children's best tonic. It gets digestion at work so that their food does them good, and they grow up healthy and strong. 25c at J.P. Hatzfeld's. The Breaking End. Cumon—Did your friend Tanker succeed in breaking his terrible drink habit? Bangs—No; the habit succeeded in breaking him. —Baltimore American. He Was Strong. Employer—Yes, I advertised for a strong boy. Think you will fill the bill? Applicant—Well. I just finished lickin' unmeteen other applicants out in the hall. —Philadelphia Inquirer. It takes a mighty good speller to write with some looking over his shoulder. —Atchison Globe. "It Goes Right to the Spot" When pain or irritation exists on any part of the body, the application of ballard's Snow Liniment will give prompt relief. "It goes right to the spot," said an old man who was rubbing creepy in regard to bungs, arches pins are in a household. "Last month," he said to the subordinate official concerned, "you reported on hand 1,119 bungs. Ten thousand were sent you at the beginning of this month. You have used 9,527 this month. You report 1,012 on hand. What has become of the other 580?" Apparently Mr. Rockefeller's idea was: Take care of the bungs and the barrels will take care of themselves. The Mistress' Character. The London Globe prints a "character" which an English servant leaving kindly gave her mistress: "In answer to your letter, it's not a bad place; the Mrs. understands her dntys, and is slvel and obligig, but troubles about getting up early in the mornings. There is plenty, and if you don't mind a place where only one other young lady is kept besides yourself, you might give them a month's trial. I like more society, which is why I am leaving." His Narrow Logic. "IIf I had my way," said the man of high principles, "there would be no money in politics." "But," said Senator Sorghum, "if you didn't put any money in politics it isn't likely you could have your way." —Washington Star. The Seas of Sahara. French engineers have declared that it is perfectly feasible to convert the desert of Sahara into a vast lake, thus opening to commerce great regions of the interior of Africa which can now only be reached by long, tedious and dangerous caravan journeys. They say that a large portion of the desert lies below the level of the Atlantic and that by digging a canal to let in the waters of the ocean the great change could be effected easily and at a cost which would be small compared to the benefits which would accrue. If the whole desert lay below the level of the Atlantic the flooding of it would create a sea more than four times as big as the Mediterranean; but, as the Sahara is composed of elevated plateaus, mountain ranges and depressions, only a part would be covered with water when the waves of the ocean were let in, and the new sea thus formed would be an irregular body of water probably of about the same size as the Mediterranean. Great commercial cities would at once spring up on its shores and trade and civilization strike at once to the heart of Africa. The sea of Sahara may never become a reality, but in any event it is a gigantic and pleasing dream. Killed by Fear. Frederick L. of Prussia was killed by fear. His wife was insane, and one day she escaped from her keeper and sabbed her clothes with blood, rushed upon her husband while he was dozing in his chair. King Frederick imagined her to be the White Lady, whose ghost was believed to invariably appear whenever the death of a member of the royal family was to occur, and he was thrown into a fever and died in six weeks. Mr. Greeley was not an orator in a cholastic sense. He had a poor one somewhat squeaking voice, but nothing of gestures, and he could not make an orator's pose, which adds such emphasis sometimes to the matter and argument to be set forth. Not all kinds of practice on the platform or public occasions ever changed his habit and methods as a speaker, and he endeared poorly equipped in the respects manned for the vocation as when he began but he had one prime quality, without which all the others are exploited in vain. He invariably had something try, and he said it in such clear and wholesome English with such sincerity that he was an orator in spite of all the rules. To state it briefly, of all the eminent speakers I have introduced—and more than was not one who gave better satisfaction different and notable as they were; nor Horace Greeley As conscience, he came to me offeness FACTS ABOUT ORANGE: The census bureau bulletin on agriculture which we quote from another part of this issue is the interesting features of farms and acres of farmland on the five Southern Cali-cles. The pre-eminence county is apparent: Counties. Los Angeles. Orange. Southern California. San Bernardino. San Diego. Eruptions The only way to get rid of pimples and other eruptions is to cleanse the blood, improve the digestion, stimulate the kidneys, liver and skin. The medicine to take is Hood's Sarsaparilla Which has cured thousands. He'd Better Trade Her Off. There is a certain Yorkshire man who has won considerable fame and some wealth as an expert handler of horses. He is also the possessor of a pleasant home, a charming wife and a bright 3-year-old boy. The latter is the delight of his father's heart, and the little fellow not only knows lots of horse talk, but takes a keen delight in a mild attempt at holding the reins over a fast gee. The wee horseman has picked up the habit of calling his parents by their first names, and the way he batters them is decidedly cunning. One day not long ago his father came home in a hurry and found the luncheon wasn't ready. "What do you think of that, my small man?" he cried laughingly as he tossed the 3-year-old in the air. "Here's papa come home in a terrible hurry and no luncheon ready. What ought we to do with such a terrible mamma?" The little fellow's eyes sparkled. "Trade her off, Harry; trade her off!" he shouted. — Pearson's Weekly. Ethel—Do you really think the lieutenant will propose to Beth? Edith—Oh, yes. He has several medals for bravery, you know. "Did MacMerger inherit his money?" "Indirectly. He inherited the ability to get the best of others." The jaw bone is the funny bone of the humorous orator. Eruptions The only way to get rid of pimples and other eruptions is to cleanse the blood, improve the digestion, stimulate the kidneys, liver and skin. The medicine to take is Hood's Sarsaparilla Which has cured thousands. He Was Strong. Employer—Yes. I advertised for a strong boy. Think you will fill the bill? Applicant—Well: I just finished lickin' allhteen other applicants out in the hall.—Philadelphia Inquirer. It takes a mighty good speller to write with some one looking over his shoulder.—Atchison Globe. "It Goes Right to the Spot" When pain or irritation exists on any part of the body, the application of Ballard's Snow Liniment will give prompt relief. "It goes right to the spot," said an old man who was rubbing it in, to cure his rheumatism. C. It Smith, Propr. Smith House, Tenna- Texas, writes: "I have used Ballard's Snow Liniment in my family for several years, and have found it to be a fine remedy, for all aches and pains, and I recommend it for pains in the throat and chest." 25c, 50c and $1.00 at J. P. Hatzfeld's. Call us up by phone and we will be there. Hutchinson's drug store. sep24 Accepted He—I know your family doesn't like me, but will you be my wife? She—Well, I should say not! He (taken aback)—Whew! That's rather short. She—I repeat, I should say not, but as a girl in love doesn't always say what she should, I'll say "yes." You May Need Pain-Killer For Cuts Burns Bruises Cramps Diarrhoea All Bowel Complaints It is a sure, safe and quick remedy. There's ONLY ONE Pain-Killer Perry Davis'. Two sizes, 25c. and 50c. In The Vendor Magazine Mrs. Sala relates an incident about the last magazine article ever written by the late George Augustus Sala. "As I entered his study that afternoon," she writes, "he gave me over the three slips of a closely written MS. on flimsy foreign note paper and said: 'Take them, dearest. I am so tired I don't think I shall ever write another magazine article. Put the sheets in your dispatch box and finish them for me. When I am dead, you will perhaps want bread, and then you can sell 'Bedrooms on Wheels.' Sure enough, it was just as he so sadly prophesied, for often since cruel death came between us I have wanted for the common necessities of life during many weeks and months of weariness and health." THE CLEANSING AND HEALING CURE FOR CATARRH Is Ely's Gream Balm Easy and pleasant to use. Contains no injurious drug. It is quickly absorbed. Gives Relief at once. It Opens and Cleanses the Nasal Passages. Allays Infammation. Heals and Protects the Membrane. Restores the Senses of Taste and Smell. Large Size, 50 cents at Druggists or by mail; Trial Size, 10 cents by mail. ELY BROTHERS, 66 Warren Street, New York. To state it briefly, of all the eminent speaker I have introduced—and more than once—there was not one who gave better satisfaction, different and notable as they were, than Horace Greeley. As consequence, he came to me oftentimes and wore the best. We might or might not agree with some of his peculiar premises, as when he says, "The moment a drop of alcohol is received into the human stomach that moment the stomach recognizes a deadly enemy," but he set his audience thinking and illuminated his theme — Joal Bentor. Sala's Last Article: In The Vendor Magazine Mrs. Sala relates an incident about the last magazine article ever written by the late George Augustus Sala. "As I entered his study that afternoon," she writes, "he gave me over the three slips of a closely written MS. on flimsy foreign note paper and said: 'Take them, dearest. I am so tired I don't think I shall ever write another magazine article. Put the sheets in your dispatch box and finish them for me. When I am dead, you will perhaps want bread, and then you can sell 'Bedrooms on Wheels.' Sure enough, it was just as he so sadly prophesied, for often since cruel death came between us I have wanted for the common necessaries of life during many weeks and months of weariness and health." The census bureau bulletin on agriculture which we quote from another part of this issue is the paragraph giving of farms and acres of farmland on the five Southern Californias. The pre-eminence county is apparent: Counties. Los Angeles Orange Riverside San Bernardino San Diego But it is in the acreage lands that Orange county precedence over the oceans of Southern California: Counties. Los Angeles Orange Riverside San Bernardino San Diego The area of Orange square miles; that of 3880; that of Riverside San Bernardino; 20 055; San Diego; 8400 square orange county thus fifth the area of Los Angeles its irrigated lands apply to one-half those of it the north. Riverside embraces area, yet it irrigates 900 or a fourth more than county on the east. San Bernardino is 25 yet its irrigated acres ect this jumbo county by approximately ten per cent. San Diego is eleven yet it irrigates 25,000 acres on the county on the south-central is the former's as compared with that almost the irrigated Diego and Riverside county. Orange county posses system of irrigation that water rights that exist California. That is said many a time and figures prove it. It is est and most productive lies outdoors and is set than any other in the PICKINGS FROM FICTION. What is genius? It is the power to be a boy again at will.—“Tommy and Grizel.” There is one consoling thing about being disillusioned—it presupposes the illusion.—“A Social Departure.” Thar never was a quicker way to kill courage in a feller than to fight his fights for 'im.'—“The Substitute.” Women have us back to the condition of primitive man or they shoot us higher than the topmost star.—“The Egoist.” Tact is the exercise of that wit whereby woman renders man unconscious of the chains in which her beauty binds him.—“A Summer In New York.” When a man has once treated a matter as a joke, be it for ever so brief a period, he can never take it back again into the region of the highest tragedy, where alone danger lies.—“Flower o' the Corn.” Optimism in life is a good working hypothesis if by optimism we mean the open eyed faith that force exerted is never lost. Much that calls itself faith is only the blindness of self satisfaction.—“The Philosophy of Despair.” Perception of the Beautiful. An instance of the Italian child's quick, poignant perception of the beautiful occurred the other day in one of the settlement libraries. A shy little maiden, with a world of dream thoughts in the depths of her dark eyes, stood by the librarian's desk waiting for Andrew Lang's "Gray Fairy Book." But when it was given into her small hands all the wealth of fairy lore between its covers was for a moment forgotten in contemplation of the cover, a dainty design in gray and silver. All thought of the story vanished. The child stood there eyeing the book with a look that was a caress, her hands just touching the binding, tenderly, as something of fragile beauty. And then, very softly, as if to herself, she said: “I mustn't get it the least bit dirty. It's so pretty.”—Everybody's Magazine. Beautiful Complexions Are spoiled by using any kind of preparation that fills the pores of the skin. The best way to secure a clear complexion, free from salowness, pimples, blotches, etc., is to keep the liver in good order. An occasional dose of Herbine will cleanse the bowels, regulate the liver, and so establish a clear, healthy complexion. 50c at J. P. Hatzfeld's. THEDFORD'S BLACK-DRAUGHT FOR CONSTIPATION Constipation is nothing more than a clogging of the bowels and nothing less than vital stagnation or death if not relieved. If every constipated sufferer could realize that he is allowing poisonous filth to remain in his system, he would soon get relief. Constipation invites all kind of contagion. Headaches, biliousness, colds and many otherailments disappear when constipated bowels are relieved. Thedford's Black-Draught thoroughly cleans out the bowels in an easy and natural manner without the purging of calomel or other violent cathartics. Be sure that you get the original Thedford's Black-Draught made by The Chattanooga Medicine Co. Sold by all druggists in 25 cent and $1.00 packages. Morgan, Ark., May 25, 1901. I cannot recommend Thedford's Black-Draught too highly. I keep it in my house all the time and have used it for the last ten years. I never gave my children any other laxative. I think I could never be able to work without it on account of being troubled with constipation. Your medicine is all that keeps me up. C. B. McFARLAND. Choice of Three Routes EAST and WEST ‘Sunset’ ‘Ogden’ ‘Shasta’ FACTS ABOUT ANAHEIM. The City of Anaheim, with a population of 2500, is situated in the northern part of Orange county, in Southern California, 12 miles from the ocean, 4½ miles from the footmills, and 148½ feet above sea level. It is 27 miles from Los Angeles, the second largest city in the State of California. The climatic conditions are the most favorable for out-door life to be found in Southern California. The temperature is extremely uniform, seldom rising above 90 degrees in summer, or falling below 32 degrees in winter. The abundance of sunlight and the absence of sharp frosts and cold winds make it a place especially acceptable to those desiring to escape the severe climate of the east. The country is very attractive. It is practically level, with just sufficient slope from the hills to afford adequate drainage. The roads are level, well graded, and well kept, affording excellent opportunities for cycling and driving. The soil is a rich sandy loam which never bakes, making it a very easy ground to work; thus lending itself readily to the cultivation of berries, nuts, oranges, etc. The variety of products, and the possibility of procuring small tracts of land at low figures, and on easy terms, make our section of the county very attractive and advantageous for truck raising, or for farming on a small scale. The following are a few of the products: oranges, lemons, walnuts, grapes, peaches, apricots, sugar beets, berries and vegetables of all kinds. Anaheim is the possessor of a building and Loan Association, Water company, two railroads, fruit cannery and drier, large oil industry, estrich farm, bank, several adequate commercial houses, two hotels and two newspapers. The city also owns its water and lighting plant. FACTS ABOUT ORANGE CO. The census bureau has issued a bulletin on agriculture in California which we quote from extensively in another part of this issue. One of the interesting features of the report is the paragraph giving the number of farms and acres of farming lands on the five Southern California counties. The pre-eminence of Orange county is apparent: Counties. No. farms. Acres. Los Angeles...6577 865,663 Orange...2388 596,436 Riverside...2340 427,007 San Bernardino...2350 219,132 San Diego...2698 809,419 Beautiful Complexions Are spoiled by using any kind of preparation that fills the pores of the skin. The best way to secure a clear complexion, free from sallowness, plumes, blotches, etc., is to keep the liver in good order. An occasional dose of Herbine will cleanse the bowels, regulate the liver, and so establish a clear, healthy complexion. 50c at J. P. Hatzfeld's. Alrendy There. She—I heard you complimenting her upon her girlish appearance. What did she say? He—She said. "Ah, but I'm sure I shall look much older when I'm forty." She—Huh! She means she'll look much older when she admits she is forty.—Philadelphia Press. His Title. "How did he get his title of colonel?" "He got it to distinguish him from his wife's first husband, who was a captain, and his wife's second husband, who was a major."—Exchange. An evil speaker only wants an opportunity to become an evil doer—Quintillian. THE SANDERS-ARNOTT DISC PLOW. The solid cast frame now being used on the Sanders-Arnott Disc Plow is the most valuable feature added to the Disc Plow since they were placed on sale. See them before buying. No more sprung beams out of line or bolts sheared off. We have a new pattern four gang plow for the largest ranches. Any disc plow without the solid cast frame is old style. Do not be misled into buying one. Made is one, two, three and four gang patterns. The most successful disc plow in the ma rket. Draft reduced 50 per cent. Send for circulars. We have a liberal proposition to offer any rancher who wishes to investigate the merits of this plow. Write for it ARNOTT & COMPANY Wagons, Carriages and Farm Machinery. 120, 122, 124 Los Angeles Street THE GAZETTE JOB-OFFICE THE Census bureau has issued a bulletin on agriculture in California which we quote from extensively in another part of this issue. One of the interesting features of the report is the paragraph giving the number of farms and acres of farming lands in the five Southern California counties. The pre-eminence of Orange county is apparent: Counties. No. farms. Acres. Los Angeles...6577 895,063 Orange...2388 599,436 Riverside...2340 427,067 San Bernardino...2350 219,132 San Diego...2098 809,419 But it is in the acreage of irrigated lands that Orange county takes easy precedence over the other counties of Southern California: Counties. Acres: Los Angeles...88,644 Orange...41,549 Riverside...32,947 San Bernardino...37,877 San Diego...16,022 The area of Orange county is 780 square miles; that of Los Angeles, 3880; that of Riverside, 7008; that of San Bernardino, 20,055, and that of San Diego, 8400 square miles. Orange county thus contains one-fifth the area of Los Angeles; yet its irrigated lands approach in area to one-half those of its neighbor to the north. Riverside embraces nine times its area, yet it irrigates 9000 more acres, or a fourth more than the belauded county on the east. San Bernardino is 25 times its size, yet its irrigated acres exceed those of this jumbo county by nearly 4000, approximately ten per cent. San Diego is eleven times its size, yet it irrigates 25,000 acres more than the county on the south—300 per cent is the former's irrigated area as compared with that of the latter—almost the irrigated area of San Diego and Riverside combined. Orange county possesses the finest system of irrigation, the most secure water rights, that exist in Southern California. That is what we have said many a time and oft. These figures prove it. It is the handsomest and most productive county that lies outdoors and is settling up faster than any other in the State. Subscribe for the Gazette