oc-plain-dealer 1923-12-22

EDITORIAL AND FEATURES An Independent Newspaper Issued Every Afternoon Except Sunday Paul V. Hester Editor and Publisher LAST BIG BATTLESHIP IN COMMISSION The last capital warship that can be added to the United States navy, because of the limitations placed by the Armament Conference, has been put into commission—the battleship West Virginia. Commissioning of the West Virginia "will mark the end of an era," as Secretary Denby says; "for years to come there will be no more competition in capital ships among the great naval powers." This is an event of unusual import. It is to be hoped that the halting in the construction of great warships may be permanent. Before the time set for expiration of the armament agreement it is to be hoped that a perpetual compact may be formulated and accepted by all the great powers—and eventually by all powers—to limit not only naval armament, but land armament as well. Every honest oil stock, or any other kind of stock, will bear rigid investigation. MURDEROUS BANDITRY IS TOO COMMON Murderous banditry is startlingly common here in Southern California. Despite the tightening of police vigilance in Los Angeles, the number of crimes is multiplying—particularly crimes of violence and daring robberies. Banks and big business houses are the most common scenes of these murderous deeds. It may be advisable to arm employees and to establish armed guards about every institution where large sums of money are kept. It will be recalled that when the number of mail robberies throughout the country became startlingly great, the United States government employed marines to guard the mails. That soon put a quietus on the robberies. Something extraordinary must be done to prevent the recurrence of bold, murderous robberies. Ordinary means will not suffice, it seems. Criminally reckless driving should be stopped by criminal prosecution of the guilty. HERE'S TO YOUR Something extraordinary must be done to prevent the recurrence of bold, murderous robberies. Ordinary means will not suffice, it seems. Criminally reckless driving should be stopped by criminal prosecution of the guilty. HERE'S TO YOUR Health and Happiness THIS MERRY YULETIDE SEASON And an expression of appreciation for the business favors of our patrons during the past year. Automotive Electric Co. G. H. ENNIS, Prop. 234 SO. Los Angeles St. Anaheim, Calif. A Real Christmas Gift For Your Boy or Girl A Real Christmas Gift For Your Boy or Girl NOW IS THE TIME TO OPEN A SAVINGS ACCOUNT FOR YOUR BOY OR GIRL—A PRESENT THAT GROWS IN VALUE EVERY DAY IN THE YEAR. MAKE THIS PRESENT YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE CHARACTER OF YOUR CHILD. TEACH HIM THE VALUE OF THRIFT. LET HIM FEEL THE THRILL THAT COMES FROM ACCUMULATING THE FUND THAT MAY ENABLE HIM TO GAIN AN EDUCATION—OR GO INTO BUSINESS. A SAVINGS ACCOUNT IS AN IDEAL CHRISTMAS GIFT. YOU MAKE THE FIRST DEPOSIT AND LET THE BOY OR GIRL SAVE TOWARD THOSE THAT FOLLOW. YOUR CHILD WILL BE PROUD TO KNOW THAT HE HAS MONEY IN THE BANK. 4% Paid on Savings Accounts FIRST NATIONAL BANK AMERICAN SAVINGS BANK of Anaheim RES t Sunday Publisher Plain Dealer SATURDAY Subscription Entered at SOFTENING THE OLD BOY'S HEART "I TEN HEAR YOUR HEART A-BEATIN, DUS AS PLAIN!" PARAGRAPHS (By Robert Quillen) A man seldom feels true charitability unless he is full of sound religion or good rations. One way to be a success is to select a modest goal not beyond reach of your rated horsepower. Seaboard wets are opposed by two factions: Puritans who don't want it, and inlanders who can't get it. An amendment may make men and women equal before the law, but it won't make them equal before a jury. And now the poor-college hero must kill time by studying until the weather permits baseball practice. It is urged that the last German spy be released. Germany now knows all about America's strength, anyway. Some men can't work on an empty stomach, but surgeons always prefer it that way. America doesn't mind doing her part in the world's affairs. What she objects to is doing Europe's part. No head is really empty. If there are no brains on the premises, all available space is used by prejudices. If you have a beautiful little graft, and progress threatens it, you are sure the world is going ABE MARTIN No runaway wife wuz ever worth th' shoe leather it took t' chase her. Loud talkers allus know jest what ought f' be done, but they're allus poor detall men. DINNER STORIES The following conversation took place the other day between two farmers, according to The Washington Star. "I see you have put lightning rods on your new barn." "Had to do it," answered Farmer Corntossel. "You said years ago that lightning rods were useless." "Yep. Science has been mighty busy since then. If they kin prove that the old law of gravita- SUNSHINE PELLETS BY DR. W. F. THOMSON On useless resolutions. Oft dated "New Years Day;" These broken institutions That clutter up the way. If you want wide-awake men and women, let the children sleep. We get "vitamines" from dairies and not from drug stores. To prevent accidents, "stop, look and listen;" to prevent diseases, stop, think and reason. With your pressure two-twenty, And still going higher, Like the boy in the ad, "It's time to retire." That fat can be reduced by rubbing medicament into the unbroken skin is so ridiculous that it seems a waste of time to refute such a claim. Treat not lightly the "growing pains" of children. The "growing pain" is oft'a "rheumatism" which in later years, may become a heart disease. What gives us "colds" in winter? Why do we winter fear? It's all because Our heater draws And dries the atmosphere. Not-with-standing there are thousands who regularly eat fish and drink milk, at the same meal, without the least discomfort; there is an opinion abroad that this combination of foods is dangerous. Some men can't work on an empty stomach, but surgeons always prefer it that way. America doesn't mind doing her part in the world's affairs. What she objects to is doing Europe's part. No head is really empty. If there are no brains on the premises, all available space is used by prejudices. If you have a beautiful little graft, and progress threatens it, you are sure the world is going to the dogs. It may not be significant, but the kind of people who return thanks for their food are the kind that have least. Everlasting peace will come when cannon fodder reaches for a brick every time some statesman mentions patriotism. There's always a way out. The whiskey for this year's eggnog will be new and fiery, but you can get an old and mellow egg. Another way to make an ass of a man is to interview him and let nature take its course. There are so many drys and so many wets that the poor politician can't do a thing but declare that prohibition isn't an issue. Even though the world is now thoroughly safe for democracy, a lot of the little countries are slow about choosing their dictators. That Scotch scientist who doubts the Adam and Eve story will please explain the projection that chafes the front of one's collar. "The chief fault of the world is misdirected energy." Absolutely. The energy now wasted in growing whiskers would cover all the bald spots. Correct this sentence: "Yes, I've looked over the paper," she admitted, "but I never read those divorce stories." DINNER STORIES The following conversation took place the other day between two farmers, according to The Washington Star. "I see you have put lightning rods on your new barn." "Had to do it," answered Farmer Corntossel. "You said years ago that lightning rods were useless." "Yep. Science has been mighty busy since then. If they prove that the old law of gravitation ain't workin' any more there's no tellin' but what they've given us a new kind of electricity." Sauces You Never Forget Certain hotels have a country-wide reputation for their wonderful meals. It is usually in the preparation of some famous sauce that a chef gains his reputation. There is hardly a chef of repute who would be without KITCHEN BOUQUET. Try this mushroom sauce: MUSHROOM SAUCE 1. Mushroom Eggnog 2. Milk porridge 3. Table sauce butter 4. Lemon cream 5. Cured mushrooms, salt fine and smoked in milk 6. Melt batter in samepan, add flour, melt 1 colonie, sell stock with simphroome and melt in samepan often added with KITCHEN BOUQUET and smoked. Bring to boiling point and serve over boiled snack. Then you will know why chefs regard so tightly KITCHEN BOUQUET SATURDAY, DECEMBER TWENTY-TWO, 1922 Subscription Rate—In No. Orange-co., per Yr., $3; 6 Months, $1.75 Entered at the Postoffice at Anaheim, Calif., as 2nd class matter. ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT A LITTLE SLICE OF LIFE "George, darling," said the wife, "I think you are just wonderful. It makes me jealous to hear My woman friends praise your work. You seem to improve every year. No. I am not spoofing you, dear." And then the husband replied: "That's awfully sweet of you. It warms the cockles of the heart To hear those encouraging words. I am very proud of you, too. You look younger each year." And when the husband had left The wife mumbled to herself: "Well, I guess the poor fish Swallowed everything I said." And I guess it is a cinch that he Will come across with the new car For Christmas. I hooked him right. You can always jolly a man." And as the husband walked away To catch his train for town, He muttered to himself: "I wonder if she thinks She can get away with that bunk? If she does, she has got Another large guess coming. Trying to kid me, eh? Well, what she gets for Christmas Will be another leather handbag. Trying to kid an old dog like me! Huh! A nice handbag for hers." A matrimonial bureau was the original male-order house, says one of our contributors, and we are willing to let it go at that. Germany is in need of raw materials. Well there is certainly material for a lot of billiard balls and piano keys in the Hohenzollern family. HOW TO GET RICH QUICK Answering numerous inquiries, we present the following sure methods of making short cuts to great wealth. Go in the ring and whip Jack Dempsey. Raise hens that will lay two eggs a day. Go west with a gimlet and bore a lot of oil gushers. Find the buried treasure of the late Capt. Kidd. Start a cafe that will be patronized by society people. Come over from England and do a lecture tour of the United States. Invent an airship that cannot fall to the ground. Erect an apartment house that will please all the tenants. Invent reducing exercise that does not seem like work. Build a car that will get ninety miles out of a gallon. Patent a process to manufacture artificial gold. Have yourself elected president of the Steel Trust. One scientist claims that it is possible to increase the span of human life to 150 years. This may be a good idea as it will give people time to pay their income taxes. BUT WHERE WOULD YOU GET THE SHOES? Dear Roy—The maximum of economy with the minimum of efficiency easily can be obtained by using one pair of shoestrings for two pairs of shoes.—Nik Nub. Come over from England and do a lecture tour of the United States. Invent an airship that cannot fall to the ground. Erect an apartment house that will please all the tenants. Invent reducing exercise that does not seem like work. Build a car that will get ninety miles out of a gallon. Patent a process to manufacture artificial gold. Have yourself elected president of the Steel Trust. One scientist claims that it is possible to increase the span of human life to 150 years. This may be a good idea as it will give people time to pay their income taxes. BUT WHERE WOULD YOU GET THE SHOES? Dear Roy—The maximum of economy with the minimum of efficiency easily can be obtained by using one pair of shoestrings for two pairs of shoes.—Nik Nub. SPECIAL From Now 'til Christmas We will give with every COLUMBIA GRAPHOPHONE sold from $125.00 up, $25.00 worth of records. (Your choice); terms. Austin Music Co. 308 East Center Phone 920 Anaheim WITH KINDEST THOUGHTS and all GOOD WISHES FOR XMAS and throughout THE COMING NEW YEAR Reliable Tire Co. 133 So. Los Angeles St., Anaheim and throughout THE COMING NEW YEAR Reliable Tire Co. 133 So. Los Angeles St., Anaheim Southern California is, does and has stands for. Work and plays Goal is. Manufactures. Grows. Mines from the earth. Fishes from the sea. Eating harbor. Educates its young. The scenes at movieland. Departments on Hawaiian Islands in Mexico. Building activities. What the tourist sees at mountains and seacoast. Vistas of homes and gardens. Achievements in literature, art, music, drama and science. Churches, clubs, theaters, hotels. Views of business district. Snow-capped peaks and orange groves. The romance of bygone days. The magnitude and importance of the vast Southwest Empire of today. Face of Patrons, The Times will mail copies direct from its mailing department to relatives providing lists of names are furnished, accompanied by proper payment. Copies will be sent postage paid to any point in United States, Canada or Mexico, at 35c. May be obtained from your local Times agent whose name appears below, and with regard to lists of names; or, if more convenient, you can bring or mail lists to the Time. Each year, thousands of orders for the Annual Midwinter Number arrive too early, due to the fact that everyone will want to send away more copies than ever possible to place orders well in advance. To co-operate in giving the widest possible California's amazing 1923 development, The Times has kept the selling price withstanding the heavy cost of publication and the increase in number of magazine issues.