oc-plain-dealer 1923-08-09

EDITORIAL AND FEATURES An Independent Newspaper Issued Every Afternoon Except Sunday Paul V. Hester Editor and Publisher DAILY GREETINGS TO OUR READERS No penance thine but that God makes His own Its lonliest thought, its bitterest tears of brine, Unto thy weakness leads His strength divine. —B. Alphonso Rodriguez. Save the President! Give Him Aid! Since the tragic passing of President Harding, thoughtful persons have been taking stock. They find that the Presidency today imposes strains too great for human endurance. They recall that Theodore Roosevelt was not the same man physically after leaving the White House. They contemplate that silent, broken figure in Washington—Woodrow Wilson. And they are reminded, in their mourning, that Warren G. Harding would be on earth today, in life and health, in all probability, had it not been for the rigors of the Presidency. Relief for the President is being discussed on every hand. It is suggested that the office of assistant to the President be created. This finds favor in many quarters, and seems quite practicable. Comes now Senator Cummins, of Iowa, president pro tem of the Senate, and advocates but one term for Presidents. He says that eight years in the Presidency, with the political party leadership which it imposes upon the President, is too much for human endurance. Should there be limiting, by constitutional amendment, of the Presidency to one term, it would be well, it would seem, to lengthen the Presidential term to five or six years. This would give the incumbent President ample time to develop his policies, put them into effect and test the quality of them. Four years hardly is sufficient time for this. Europe will be just as peaceful as it chooses to be. No profiteering in necessaries should be tolerated. New President Is Not to Disrupt President Coolidge has given solemn pledge to carry out the policies of his lamented chief, the late President Harding. the Presidency to one term, it would be well, it would seem, to lengthen the Presidential term to five or six years. This would give the incumbent President ample time to develop his policies, put them into effect and test the quality of them. Four years hardly is sufficient time for this. Europe will be just as peaceful as it chooses to be. No profiteering in necessaries should be tolerated. New President Is Not to Disrupt President Coolidge has given solemn pledge to carry out the policies of his lamented chief, the late President Harding. Mr. Coolidge comes of stock which regards its word as good as its bond. He will do as he says. Asked specifically by newspaper correspondents if he would continue the negotiations with Mexico, he gave assurance that there is no reason why the negotiations should not proceed, as begun and as carried on near to consummation. It is fair to assume that Mr. Coolidge will have the same attitude toward recognition of Mexico as Mr. Harding had. This important development may be expected to come to head soon. Mr. Coolidge, as President, will not be an innovator, judging by his character and his record in the past. He will carry out Mr. Harding's policies on all things in process. But on new questions and issues, requiring original treatment, Mr. Coolidge may be expected to take a stand in his own way. There will be many things, during the time he is yet to serve in the White House, which will develop Mr. Coolidge's viewpoints and policies. Meantime, the country rests secure in the soundness and capability of the new President. With scores being killed weekly in grade-crossing accidents in this country, is it not high time to move for the abolishment of this arch enemy of human life and safety? New President An Able Man of Convictions Calvin Coolidge, President of the United States! The hand of Destiny has written, and this is the writing. Suddenly brought into the highest official position in the land, Mr. Coolidge is under the close, interested scrutiny of the American people and of the world. Upon learning of the death of President Harding, Mr. Coolidge, who automatically becomes President by constitutional provision, gave assurance that he would carry on the policies begun by Mr. Harding. No radical departures in policies or methods are expected during the two years that Mr. Coolidge has to serve. President Coolidge is a man of stern virtues—of austere, conscientious, high-minded New England stock. He is a man who thinks well before he speaks. But when he speaks he has a message. In all official positions in which he has been tried he has not been found wanting in talents or in conscientious scruples and devotion to high ideals of government. The Nation has naught to fear from his administration. Keenly regretted though the passing of Mr. Harding is, yet the government remains in competent hands. Merit is rewarded by the very fact that it is merit and that it has consciousness of its own being. Merit, in other words, has its reward without looking to extraneous circumstances or conditions. HOW TO FOR By WM BY National P Every three days of every banki or altered chec where in the U we consider th all the busin transacted in i ture of some the possibil pear stagge Just before we was sent up for his last sentence told a detective decides to raise no way on ear The most pain fact was when check-protecting into the New L which he had the check wif had paid for f chine which th from him. A clever cros serpulous pri the printing o usually can du paper. If not imitate the pap ers. He can while, have a m hold of the ne ing or check-p Then he can tr his blank check over your ex against a wind it in for as la he thinks your stand. We can, hoery much less s adopt certain that are every Rules for Merit is rewarded by the very fact that it is merit and that it has consciousness of its own being. Merit, in other words, has its reward without looking to extraneous circumstances or conditions. Does Fear Put a Tax on Your Pocket-Book? Fear is a partner in the sale of many a quart of high-priced motor oil. The motorist pays for added protection that he does not get. The extra money usually goes into long-haul transportation and high merchandising costs. Zerolene, produced on the Pacific Coast and often selling for half as much as other oils, reduces friction and wear to a greater extent than any other motor lubricant we have seen and tested or been able to produce. It is a better oil — even if it does cost less. Ask for it by name — Zerolene. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (California) 30% less CARBON 5% more gasoline mileage ZERO URES opt Sunday Publisher Plain Dealer WOULDN'T THEY HOWL IF THEY HAD TO WORK THIS HARD AT HOME! HOW TO FOIL THE FORGER By WM BYRON FORBUSH. National Honesty Bureau. Every three and a half minutes of every banking day, a forged or altered check is passed somewhere in the United States. When we consider that 95 per cent of all the business of this country is transacted in paper which is valuable only because of the signature of some firm or individual, the possibilities for forgery appear staggering. Just before "old Doc" Cockerel was sent up for twenty years for his last sentence for forgery he told a detective that "If a forger decides to raise a check there is no way on earth to prevent him." The most painful proof of this fact was when a salesman for a check-protecting machine went into the New Hampshire bank to which he had sold it and raised the check with which the bank had pald for it on the very machine which they had just bought from him. A clever crook can, at an unscrupulous print shop, duplicate the printing of any check and usually can duplicate any special paper. If not the latter, he can imitate the paper with water colors. He can, if it is worth his while, have a rubber stamp made to copy the certification and get hold of the necessary check-writing or check-protecting machine. Then he can trace your name on his blank check by holding it up over your executed check and against a window pane and fill it in for as large an amount as he thinks your bank account will stand. We can, however, make forgery much less successful if we will adopt certain simple precautions that are every day neglected. POEMS THAT LIVE THE OLD FAMILIAR FACES I have had playmates, I have had companions In my days of childhood, in my joyful school days; All, all are gone, the old familiar faces, I have been laughing, I have been carousing, Drinking late, sitting late, with my bottom cronies; All, all are gone, the old familiar faces. I loved a love once, fairest among women: Closed are her doors on me, I must not see her; All, all are gone, the old familiar faces. Ghost-like I paced round the haunts of my childhood, Earth seem'd a desert I was bound to traverse. Seeking to find the old familiar faces. Friend of my bosom, thou more than a brother, Why wert not thou born in my father's dwelling? So might we talk of the old familiar faces. How some they have died, and some they have left me, And some are taken from me; all are departed; All, all are gone, the old familiar faces. CHARLES Lamb. PARAGRAPHS By ROBERT QUILLEN Peace has its victories but they make bum memoirs. A man doesn't need security when he starts out to borrow a lot of trouble. Labor calls for a new deal. More diamonds and less spades. Speaking of the heat, how many miles to the collar do you get these days? A married man is usually, in a manner of speaking, conversatiated. As we remember it, the beginning of modern sanitation was the mustache cup The self-serve idea is newer in the cafeteria game than it is in politics. Girls admire the man with a "heart of gold" but prefer the man with mines of it. It is more blessed to give than to have to think up a speech of acceptance and thanks. Gambling and games of chance will continue in our cities as long as pedestrains must get across the streets. Our international relations never worry us like the ones who visit us over the week end with their five kids. About the only time that a lot of workers show speed and energy is when they're going after... while, have a rubber stamp made to copy the certification and get hold of the necessary check-writing or check-protecting machine. Then he can trace your name on his blank check by holding it up over your executed check and against a window pane and fill it in for as large an amount as he thinks your bank account will stand. We can, however, make forgery much less successful if we will adopt certain simple precautions that are every day neglected. Rules for Protecting Your Checks 1. Use only alteration-proof check paper. 2. Write checks with safety ink or with a check-writing machine that shreds the paper and inks the edges. 3. Fill in all blank spaces in the check, drawing heavy parallel lines through the unfilled spaces. 4. Make out no check to "Cash" or "Bearer" or to unvouched-for persons. 5. Destroy all checks marred or containing erasures. 6. Sign no blank checks Keep your blank checks and check book locked up. 7. Be careful when and where you make your banking signature. 8. Scrutinize all "certified" or guaranteed checks with unusual care. These are the ones most likely to be forged or imitated. 9. Never cash a check for a stranger who is in a hurry. 10. Do not follow the lines of action suggested by a stranger to verify his check. 11. For perfect safety, have your checks bonded. The fellows who are trying to divide the war reparations ought to call in that woman who was sawed into so many halves on our stage last winter. A peaceful household is one in which everybody has grown tired of the phonograph. Door (movie definition): Something that always collapses when the hero's shoulder hits it, but results the attacks by the villain even when he uses a battering ram. Friend of my bosom, thou more than a brother, Why wert not thou born in my father's dwelling? So might we talk of the old familiar fades. How some they have died, and some they have left me, And some are taken from me; all are departed; All, all are gone, the old familiar faces. —Charles Lamb. ABE MARTIN Even with wheat down t' 85 cents a bushel a farmer ought t' save a little money if he cuts his own hair an' shaves himself. One good thing—if there's a player planner in your block you won't need t' buy one. Fable: Once upon a time a little child rode for a whole minute on a train without asking for a drink of water or getting a cinder in its eyes. "Each child is burdened with $96 of public debt." We've always wondered what makes a new-born infant yell. The non-est of all non-aesthetics is the husband who looks upon his wife's flower pots as a place to spit. Easy way to remember people's names and faces. Pretend to yourself that they all owe you money. Patent applied for. It is impossible for the average author to pick what he considers the ten best books. The average author hasn't written that many. The consensus of opinion seems to be that nothing good in the way of government and nothing bad in the way of drama can come out of Russia. Some men are so farighted in business that they could look over somebody's shoulder in a correspondence school exam. If what the barbers say about the coming dollar hairstuds is correct, it looks like the world might get a crop of poets. Art leaves much to the imagination and the summer resort literature never mentions the chiggers and the poison ivy. THURSDAY, AUGUST NINTH, 1923. Subscription Rate—In No. Orange-co. Per Yr. $3; 6 Months, $1.75 Entered at the Postoffice at Anaheim, Calif., as 2nd class matter COMMENTS OF THE PRESS EDITORS ARE SAYING DO PLANTS HAVE FEELINGS?—Sacramento Bee. Sir Jagadis Chandra Bose, a Hindu scientist, professes to have discovered that plants have feelings in common with the higher forms of life. A writer reporting some of Bose's experiments states: He pinched a carrot with a pair of tweezers, and an electric shudder passed through it. It would appear from this that vegetables may be food for thought as well as for the stomach; that they may eventually afford the human race moral prohibitions as well as vitamines. The wonders of science are well named. Who would have thought that a boiling potato bobbing about in a saucepan is really writhing in agony? To what ordinary person would it have occurred to listen to the scream of a turnip shuddering under the knife? There is some truth in the saying that the more we know the more difficult living becomes. Presently, one may suppose, there will be societies for the prevention of cruelty to vegetables. After that mankind will be in a dubious predicament. Vegetables are about the only things the health experts have left us to eat without qualms of stomach; now these are to be made the subject of qualms of conscience. Sometimes, when one considers the dangers, moral and physical, which beset our indulgence in the most apparently harmless pastimes, such as eating, breathing, bathing or sleeping, the idea becomes tenable that perhaps we ought to stop living altogether as an altogether too perilous and immoral occupation. THE MOTORCYCLE Whene'er I seek my sweet repose And would forget my woes, My neighbor goes out for a ride, He sits astride One of those blamed infernal things That toots and sings And then cavorts And snorts For half an hour Before there's power To push it down the street. He pumps with both his feet And then it pops and pops Finally it gets in motion, Like a pop-boat on the ocean It goes chugging, chugging, chugging. On its way of grief and pain And we go to sleep again. Then we snooze about ten minutes And he's back, Alas, alack. And he vainly tries to stop it With a jerk, But the doggone stopper somehow Will not work. THE MOTORCYCLE Whene'er I seek my sweet repose And would forget my woes, My neighbor goes out for a ride, He sits astride One of those blamed infernal things That toots and sings And then cavorts And snorts For half an hour Before there's power To push it down the street. He pumps with both his feet And then it pops and pops And stops. Then he, the patientest of men, Must start again. It sneezes And it wheezes, It bangs And it clamps. It coughs and it rumbles, It growls and it grumbles And it shoots like the artillery Oh, Gee! Finally it gets in motion, Like a pop-boat on the ocean It goes chugging, chugging, chugging. On its way of grief and pain And we go to sleep again. Then we snooze about ten minutes And he's back, Alas, alack, And he vainly tries to stop it With a jerk, But the doggone stopper somehow Will not work. Then it snorts and pops and wheezes. And it coughs and spits and sneezes. But he gets it stopped at dawn And he drags it o'er the lawn To many an earnest cuss, As the neighbors fume and fuss. And we get to sleep at four And we just begin to snore When he gets it out once more. One of our constant readers writes in to ask just what a person can do now without breaking the law, if anything. Well there are plenty of things. For instance, you can— Chew gum, eat peanuts, carry a cane, read the newspapers, ride on street cars, lead dog thru the park, write letters to the editor. When you have done all these we will write another list. They tell us that Europeans are hoarding American money. Frankly, we would like to know their system. For a good many years, off and on, we have tried to hoard American money, and we will say that it is about the hardest money to hoard that we have ever struck. The trouble about hoarding American money in America is that there are too many Americans actively engaged in discouraging this very admirable enterprise. Recently Mr. Rockefeller, a very estimable old gentleman in many ways, had a birthday, and he advised young people to save their money, and gave away some bright new nickels. In reality he advised them to hoard American money. Whenever we go to buy a pint of gasoline to clean a vest or a few neckties, we learn just how difficult it is to follow his advice. Last year, to be perfectly honest, we hoarded several hundred dollars. Not many, but several. Along came March 15 this year, and a paternal government which believes in thrift takes away our hoardings. We were absolutely honest with the government, and it so happened that our income tax exactly equaled what we had managed to hoard during the year. We would like to meet some of those Europeans who are hoarding American money. We would like to introduce them to our butcher and grocer and then turn them loose on the broad face of America and tell them to go ahead and hoard. We are sure this experiment would be watched with interest by a large portion of our populace. Now is the Time Now is the Time —By ordering that Printing now, you avoid that big rush that always comes next month. —Yours for Better Printing Service. A Phone Call Will Bring a Representative ORANGE COUNTY PLAIN DEALER Job Printing Department Telephone 151 124 West Chartres St. Anaheim