oc-plain-dealer 1923-08-03

EDITORIAL AND FEATURES An Independent Newspaper Issued Every Afternoon Except Sunday Paul V. Hester Editor and Publisher DAILY GREETINGS TO OUR READERS Think not life's burden thou dost bear alone. No sorrow thine but that its keenest dart Lies in the depths of One most sacred Heart. —B. Alphonse Rodriguez. Death is Abhorrent if Closely Seen A man of 60 years, back in Lima, Ohio, thought he wanted to "shuffle off this mortal coil." He atempted to kill himself, but was restrained. An astute police judge hit upon an effective method of making this misguided man content to live. He sentenced him to spend twenty-four hours in a morgue, surrounded by dead bodies. Just one hour was sufficient. He escaped, and there is every reason to believe that he is content enough to live and not try to forestall Providence. Suicide, in a great many instances, is mere rash thoughtlessness. It is a species of rashness which should be deprecated on every hand. The suicidal impulse is of gradual growth, usually. The person who gives way to gloomy broodings after every sorrow or reverse, is headed for suicide if he or she does not summon moral courage to combat this tendency. No suicide is justified. There is no burden, or grief, or misfortune in life that is not bearable, if there is braveness of soul. There are many courageous ones who bear cheerfully much more than the burdens which impel weaker ones to commit suicide. The number of owners of homes is increasing vastly in California. This is an encouraging sign of the times. It denotes a state of prospering among Californians which is gratifying. Equally gratifying is the fact that so many desire to live here permanently and want to own the homes in which they live. A home owning people is contented and patriotic. No suicide is justified. There is no burden, or grief, or misfortune in life that is not bearable, if there is braveness of soul. There are many courageous ones who bear cheerfully much more than the burdens which impel weaker ones to commit suicide. The number of owners of homes is increasing vastly in California. This is an encouraging sign of the times. It denotes a state of prospering among Californians which is gratifying. Equally gratifying is the fact that so many desire to live here permanently and want to own the homes in which they live. A home owning people is contented and patriotic. Employment Status Is Encouraging Employment, throughout the United States, is at high level, this midsummer season, according to report of the Federal Reserve Board. There is slight lull in manufacturing production. But this is to be expected because of the usual seasonal dullness. On the whole, the industrial status of the country is entirely satisfactory. Employment is more satisfactory now than for a long, long time. Indeed, it is to be doubted if conditions ever were more favorable than now. The number of men involuntarily idle, the country over, is negligibly small. The number regularly employed at remunerative wages is gratifyingly large. The economic history of this country since the Armistice has been checkered. There were dark days, immediately following the close of the World War. But that crucial period was met with typical American courage. The rough seas were breasted securely. A period of the most acute distress, in which from five million to seven million men were involuntarily idle, has passed. This country today is in the midst of industrial activity and of widespread prosperity. Involuntary idleness is practically nil. Canadians welcomed President Harding as neighbor and friend, and as the great and respected chief magistrate of this great Nation. The greeting given Mr. Harding north of the Canadian boundary was highly gratifying. Former President Wilson's article in the August Atlantic Monthly is eliciting widespread interest. It is the first extensive formal utterance from Mr. Wilson since he left the White House. There is a deep spiritual note in his words. They will be pondered with respect by his countrymen. Europe's distress is preventable, for the most part. Europe is responsible for its own troubles. It compounds its difficulties without justification. It could end much of its woe if it would. It must not expect the United States to become embroiled in its domestic troubles, which are of its own making. Happiness in the Home Happiness in the Home Love is the foundation of the home—its cornerstone is a growing bank account. The wise and thoughtful provider of the family saves regularly and systematically. He knows that his own peace of mind and the happiness of his loved ones depend largely upon the protection afforded by a reserve fund against the unexpected emergency, dull times or the loss of employment. Place the "cornerstone" of your home in these strong banks. Open a savings account today. FIRST NATIONAL BANK AMERICAN SAVINGS BANK of Anahcim URES opt Sunday Publisher Plain Dealer FR Subscript Entered 1. JUMBUDDY DROPPED A QUART! 2. O.O.O. 3. NIX! I'M OFF TH' STUFF! PROBLY POIZEN ENYWAY! 4. IT MIGHT BE GOOD AT THAT! 5. UM-M-M! 6. 7. 8. 9. The Great Game of Living By Wm. Byron Forbush PIGS IS STILL PIGS The other day a bank teller in a country town was summoned by telephone to go down to the railroad station and deliver four hundred dollars in bills to a depositor who was passing through but who did not have time to stop off and come up to the bank. The teller was bonded of course in one of those modern inclusive ways that guarantees the bank against loss not only by embezzlement but also through carelessness. If he had lived in his grandfather's time he would have been vouched for only by the personal suretyship of a trusting relative of substance, and the only recourse in case he made away with funds would have been his uncle's shifting estate and the possibility that the local thief-detecting society on horseback might catch up with him. (This long sentence is not an aside, it contains the point of the story, which is that he was inclusively bonded.) POEMS THAT LIVE THE MUSICIANS The grand band concert comes tonight, Bird Choruses at morn. It's so nice, here in Prunty-town, A feller's glad he's born, And specially that it happened here, Of places up and down, And didn't happen some're else, But here in Prunty-town; Right here among the hills and dales, In this fair, fertile land, Where you can hear the songs of birds And listen to the band. —Tennyson J. Daft. PARAGRAPHS By ROBERT QUILLEN New Ford joke. I do not wish to be President. Times-change. In the old days green was a symbol of envy; now it's red. One reason why Darwin got by was because Bryan wasn't there to read him out of the party. Fortunately, however, wheat won't drop too low for the speculators to make a little profit. Alaska couldn't have gained much more publicity if she had gone broke staging a prize fight. It isn't pride that gives the returned vacationist that stiff-nocked appearance. It is sunburn. ABE MARTIN There is always a brighter side. Being caught in the rain is disagreeable, but suppose it came up instead of down. This Tutank crazes has at last reached politics. The Senator-elect from Minneapolis says "Ay tank." As the young man approached the station he had stowed away three of the bundles containing the bills in various pockets, but he held one in his hand. In the country the young ladies always turn out to the trains, supposedly to compare the specimens of the male sex who pass through the town with the somewhat limited local supply. The teller was probably aware of this fact, and so, probably to enhance his own importance (as a responsible citizen) (in their eyes), he gaily tossed a bundle containing one hundred dollars in bills into the air. Again and again he caught it, and the third time he did not catch it, and the package fell to the platform. A passing hog, of the razorback variety, called so, because they are usually seen stropping themselves against the platform, was rambling by at the moment. He saw the package, whose green suggested nourishment, and naturally swallowed it. The agonized teller hastily hunted the owner of the animal, and made a hurried bargain for its purchase. He slew the animal and cut him open where he was. But in the meantime nature had done her work, and the bundle was unrecognizable as money. The surety company was bound to pay the bank's claim. They probably recovered from the teller, who had learned the lesson suggested by the title of this story. As a curator of funds he also decided not to qualify as a juggler. Why don't they shoot a little advice into college students each day instead o' handin' it t' em all in a lump when they graduate? When a consumer feels like he needs a double garage he goes down in his pocket an' pays fer it, but when a public utility wants t' expand it makes its customers pay th' bill. -HERE AND THERE- No doubt men would like salad and lettuce sandwiches if they had to do the cooking. Extending the limit to twelve miles to catch rum runners probably wouldn't help as much as extending the time to twelve years after getting them. Every dog has his day. Mr. Ford calls history bunk now, but history will have the last word. Never despair, girls. Lady Louise Mountbatten, cousin of the Geo. Y., is engaged at the age of 43. The office cynic has an autocratic complex, and he says he'd rather be the Anti-Saloon League than President. There is always a brighter side. Being caught in the rain is disagreeable, but suppose it came up instead of down. This Tutank craze has at last reached politics. The Senator-elect from Minneapolis says "Ay tank." The yellow peril manifests itself now as a yearning to kill the umpire when the home team is losing. The common objection to prize fights appears to be that there is too much prize and not enough fight. A rail splitter couldn't be elected by moderns. They even knock a statesman who splits infinitives. Still, if we pick and choose our immigrants it will be more difficult to persuade them to pick and shovel. In this great free country everybody has a chance to amount to something and thus earn the hate of the I. W. W. Moreover, an apple a day keeps the castor oil away. Correct this sentence: "Yes," said the neighbor, "we can hear your son at his cornet practice and we enjoy it so much." A free country is one in which you are entitled to an opinion unless you are an alien, a pacifist or a college professor. It's a good thing that American relief ships got unloaded before Russian ports were congested with wheat for export. Another thing that prevents a quick solution of the anthracite coal problem is holding discussions at Atlantic City. FRIDAY, AUGUST THIRD, 1923. Subscription Rate—In No. Orange co. Per Yr. $3; 6 Months, $1.75 Entered at the Postoffice at Anaheim, Calif., as 2nd class matter COMMENTS OF THE PRESS EDITORS ARE SAYING OUR AGRICULTURAL DEPARTMENT We feel assured that this new department for suburban farmers will prove very popular with those who are trying to make the most money possible out of their investment: If your cows give milk freely at 5 o'clock in the morning, why not wait until 9 o'clock before milking them? Then they should have considerable more milk and you will be able to keep the city man's business hours. If your hens lay only one egg a day, replace them as rapidly as possible with hens that will lay four or five eggs a day. This is what we call intensive henning. If you do not think you are getting enough pails of milk from the cows buy smaller pails. The smaller the pails, the more pails of milk you will get. Few farmers appreciate the availability of the razorback hog. This pleasant little animal is not popular in the barnyard. Yet, if properly handled, he can become very useful with his sharp backbone. It is possible to train the razorback to go out and cut the wheat and corn by rubbing against it, and this saves much time for the overworked farmer. All barns and outbuildings in rural sections where the fire protection is inadequate should be painted with asbestos paint which makes quite a saving when there is a fire. When a building painted with asbestos paint burns down, the paint remains standing, and all that is necessary to do is to erect a new building inside the paint, tack the paint on and then go ahead as usual. This represents a great saving in paint. SPEAKING OF BOOKS "Hoo's-Hoo"—This funny little volume, like the City Directory, reviewed earlier, deals almost exclusively with the personal equation. The author uses as his heroines and heroes real human beings, or, at least, they were human before he begins to invest their lives with his literary touch. He lavishes upon them all the praise to which SPEAKING OF BOOKS "Hoo's-Hoo"—This funny little volume, like the City Directory, reviewed earlier, deals almost exclusively with the personal equation. The author uses as his heroines and heroes real human beings, or, at least, they were human before he begins to invest their lives with his literary touch. He lavishes upon them all the praise to which they are entitled and seldom disparages them to any extent. Their good points are brought out and their afults are mentioned only casually if at all. He has a way of finding the good in men, which is really remarkable. Altough the story at times relates feats of achievement almost unbelievable, the author's style is so compelling that we are prone to believe him: It is a much lighter work than its big brother, the City Directory, weighing only a scant pound. PROF. STEINBRUGGE SAYS: The kiss may be hygienic and it may not; but it has changed the destiny of many a man and woman. The kiss when indulged in under conditions—with its strangeness—which dignify the whole circumstance, is perhaps the most noble token of idealistic affection. Nothing is so striking in the survey of this field as the importance of the kiss as rendered—or delivered. The reception of the kiss—willingly or fictitiously unwillingly—by the woman has wrought havoc in the history of the world. The salute with the lips has been the means of many an ambitious person climbing to what is known as fame. It has been the cause of much degradation. The kiss will go on forever. It will be indulged in in spite of scientists, professors and pedagogues. It is a manner in which a man may show his admiration of woman. It is a weakness and a strength. It is wonderful. A collection or subscription was being taken up for a deserving charity by a newspaper, and a lady in our building wanted to contribute, but she didn't care to have her name printed in the papers as a subscriber. She didn't know what to do about it, so she asked a lady across the hall. The latter was a good business woman. "When you send your check," said she, "don't sign your name to the check. Just sign it, 'A Friend,' and then nobody will know who sent it." The lady did this, and is still waiting to see "A Friend, $10," in the list of receipts. "Dante Is Arrested for Beating Wife in Home."—Headline. Another paradise lost. NO HOPE The world is coming to an end, Three prophets now declare it. Their optimism's on the mend, But somehow we can't share it. For many years they've pulled that line; It hasn't come true yet. And some folks thought 'twould be so fine To be once out of debt. So do not raise your hopes too high, For they will surely drop. This prophecy they reckon by Will be another flop. THE BIG PAGEANT OF THE YEAR First Annual Southern California Baby Parade LONG BEACH, SATURDAY, AUG. 18 THE BIG PAGEANT OF THE YEAR First Annual Southern California Baby Parade LONG BEACH, SATURDAY, AUG. 18 Under the joint auspices of the Los Angeles Examiner and the Long Beach Amusement League $500 in Cash Prizes $500 Photographs of the First 100 Entrants will be published in the Examiner ENTRY BLANK Please enter— Name .... Address .... City .... —In the Southern California-Examiner First Annual Baby Parade to be held in Long Beach, on the Pike and Pier, Saturday afternoon, August 18th. Age of Entrant ... Nationality ... Where Born ... Name of Parents ... Entered in ... Division. Divisions: 1. Baby coaches and go-carts in any decoration. 2. Doll coaches to be judged also by the costume worn by child. 3. Express wagons driven or drawn by one or more children. 4. Costumes in fancy dress. 5. Costumes in burlesque. 6. Floats (attendants in costume) ONE PERSON ALONE MAY ACCOMPANY THE ENTRANT Mail to Los Angeles Examiner "Every Day Is a Gala Day at Long Beach"