anaheim-gazette 1952-12-21

DICKIE DARE by cotton waugh QUIT KIDDING! WHY, THAT SKIN... ...IS MADE OF A WONDER PLASTIC, WATER TIGHT, BUGPROOF, MILDEW PROOF MADDING! WHY, THAT SKIN... A WONDER PLASTIC, WATER TIGHT, BUGPROOF, MILDEV PROOF WHY SHOULD THEY? I HAVE NO BLOOD, NO FLESH, NO FATS; NOTHING THAT SMELLS OR TASTES M-WOW, THAT PROVES IT M-M... GOOD! SAY, NOW M-M... GOOD! SAY, NOW ABOUT A PUSH-BUTTON LUNCH OF SCRAWLED EGGS WITH FRENCH FRIES AND A DOUBLE CHOC'LIT MALTED? YOU SAID YOU'RE NOT HUMAN—NOR A GHOST— YOU SAID YOU'RE A MACHINE! THAT'S A GAG THAT'S NOT FUNNY, MISTER—IT GAGS ME! BUT I AM A MACHINE! YOU ARE WITNESSING THE FIRST TEST OF "HOMO PERFECTU" A SCIENTIFIC MECHANICAL MAN ENCASED IN A PERFE GREEK BODY! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU... GO JUMP IN THE OCEAN HEYFOR SHAR PLASTIC, BUGI DON'T BELIEVE YOU... GO JUMP IN THE OCEAN VERY WELL. W-WOW, THAT PROVES IT OKAY, SO YOU ARE A MACHINE MAN! THAT STILL LEAVES WAGS AND ME AS HUMAN BEINGS WHILE YO WHEELS WE'LL D OF THIS SAY, HOW THAT IS UNSCIENTIFIC. YOU DON'T SWALLOW SAY, HOW UTTON LED EGGS ES AND A C'LIT LTED? THAT IS WISCIENTIFIC. TAKE ONE OF THESE BALANCED CAPSULES YOU DON'T GET IT... I'M HUNGRY SWALLOW I WAS— SUPPOSEE EATING TO LIVE MACHINE! YOU ING THE FIRST NO PERFECTUS! MECHANICAL IN A PERFECT HEY-LOOK OUT FOR THOSE SHARKS! THEY PAY NO ATTENTION TO ME HEY-LOOK OUT FOR THOSE SHARKS! THEY PAY NO ATTENTION TO ME WHILE YOUR WHEELS SPIN WE'LL DIE OF THIRST! NO, THIS RAFT IS SCIENTIFICALLY EQUIPPED. HERE IS A PROCESS FOR RENDERING FRESH WATER FROM SALT SWALLOW--I MEAN I WAS—GOSH, I SUPPOSE IT'S OKAY, EATING TO LIVE BUT I'M GOING TO MISS THE GOOD OLD DAYS WHEN A GUY LIVED TO EAT!