anaheim-gazette 1931-04-09
Searchable text
THE ANAHEIM GAZETTE
HENRY KUCHEL, Editor and Publisher
ESTABLISHED 1970
ISSUED EVERY THURSDAY
SUBSCRIPTION PER YEAR $2.00
SIX MONTHS 1.00
Entered at the Anaheim, California Postoffice as second-class matter.
OUR INCREASING TAXES
Two things are certain. Farm property in general is decreasing in value and taxes on the farmer are increasing.
This is a serious situation, and one that calls for much more study and thought than most of us give it. Politicians in every part of the country seem to be chiefly engaged in trying to find new ways of imposing taxes, in order to give them—the politicians—more money to spend. Too often, when tax matters are under consideration, those who will have to bear the heaviest part of the burden are not called into consultation at all.
We all agree that improved schools, highways and public institutions are desirable, but are we trying to provide them too fast, and at the expense of an element of the population which can least afford them? Many indications point that way.
What is needed is a thorough study of the tax question from the point of view of the farmer, and a spokesman powerful enough to make the farmer's voice heard in legislatures. The main burden on the farmer, the land tax, is a State affair with which the Federal government is not concerned. It is with State and local authorities that the power of relief lies.
There has been a wide-spread movement in recent years to reduce or abolish the personal property tax. That has not benefitted the farmer as much as was expected. The idea was that the personality tax bore unequally upon the farmer, whose personal property usually consists of such tangible things as live-
can least afford them? Many indications point that way.
What is needed is a thorough study of the tax question from the point of view of the farmer, and a spokesman powerful enough to make the farmer's voice heard in legislatures. The main burden on the farmer, the land tax, is a State affair with which the Federal government is not concerned. It is with State and local authorities that the power of relief lies.
There has been a wide-spread movement in recent years to reduce or abolish the personal property tax. That has not benefitted the farmer as much as was expected. The idea was that the personality tax bore unequally upon the farmer, whose personal property usually consists of such tangible things as livestock and farm implements, impossible to hide from the tax assessor, while the rich investor could hide his stocks and bonds and pay no taxes on them. Bue the result, where personal taxes have been abolished, has been to throw a heavier burden upon the land tax, which comes back on the farmer again.
There is no other civilized country in which real estate is made to bear the chief burden of taxation. It is in an American system growing up from pioneer days when land was about the only taxable property most people had. And now that the majority of the inhabitants of the United States are wage-workers who own no land, they are perfectly willing to let the land continue to pay for their improvements and protection.
We believe that there are other and more just ways of imposing taxes than on land. In the cities, where land values are steadily increasing, the burden is not so heavy as it is in the country, but it is bad enough. It is a serious question whether any taxes should be levied upon capital in any form. Sufficient revenue could be produced, by a proper form of taxation upon money passing from hand to hand, to cover all of the necessary functions of government. We have an example in the gasoline tax, now almost nation-wide. That system may not be the best, but it is the most fidelely-distributed of all forms of taxation in the number of persons who pay it directly. It at least suggests one way whereby the farmer might be relieved of the unfair burden which he now carries.
SPEED
The year is only three months old, but already two of the world's speed records have been broken and others are threatened. Gar Wood drove a speedboat 102 miles an hour at Miami the other day. Not long ago Captain Malcolm Campbell drove an automobile 245 miles an hour. If this sort of thing keeps up throughout the year, 1931 will be the speediest twelve-month in history.
There are some high records to be challenged. There will be another airplane race for the Schneider Cup this year. The present record for speed in the air is held by Flight Commander A. H. Orlebar of the British air forces, who flew at 357.72 miles an hour in a seaplane in September, 1929, winning the Schneider trophy. That is the fastest any man has ever travelled, according to the records, thought it was rumored that Orlebar had touched 450 miles in his trial flights. Airmen are predicting that an official record above 400 miles an hour will be made this year. The record of the Europa for the fastest ocean passage, 4 days, 17 hours, 6 minutes, Cherbourg to New York, will surely be shot at this year.
With so many speedsters turning their attention to flying and speedboating, the older forms of competitive locomotion are being more or less neglected. No pacing horses has beaten the
A. H. Orlebar of the British air forces, who flew at 357.72 miles an hour in a seaplane in September, 1929, winning the Schneider trophy. That is the fastest any man has ever travelled, according to the records, thought it was rumored that Orlebar had touched 450 miles in his trial flights. Airmen are predicting that an official record above 400 miles an hour will be made this year. The record of the Europa for the fastest ocean passage, 4 days, 17 hours, 6 minutes, Cherbourg to New York, will surely be shot at this year.
With so many speedsters turning their attention to flying and speedboating, the older forms of competitive locomotion are being more or less neglected. No pacing horses has beaten the record of a mile in 1 minute 55 seconds, set by Dan Patch in 1906, while Peter Manning’s trotting record of 1.56¾ for the mile, made in 1922, remains unbroken.
No human has propelled himself faster for a mile than Paavo Nurmi did in 1923, when he negotiated the distance in 4 minutes 10.4 seconds, and Edward Tolan’s record of 9½ seconds for the 100 yards, made two years ago, still stands.
Everybody has a chance at some world’s record or other, but let us hope that the weather man won’t try to break last year’s drought record.
ECONOMIC ARITHMAGIC
In a speech at the recent progressive conference at Washington, Senator Borah declared that 75 per cent of the wealth of the United States is in the hands of four per cent of the American people.
Statements of this kind are frequently made; the source of such figures is not given. Half of the people of the United States are under 21 years of age, and do not figure much as property owners. For every holder of property there are a number of dependents who are legal as well as moral sharers of this property.
Sixty-five per cent of the national wealth of the United States is in real estate. That it is “cornered” to any such extent as such figures would indicate is clearly incorrect. The value of farm lands and live stock, exclusive of the amount of mortgages upon them, is nearly one-sixth of the total national wealth, and few farmers presumably are to be numbered among the “malefactors of great wealth.” The per capita wealth of Idaho, as far back as 1922, was $3,301, double what it was in 1912, and four hundred dollars per capita above the national average. Do four per cent of the people of Idaho own 75 per cent of the state’s wealth?
Persons paying federal taxes in 1927 on incomes of $10,000 or over received, according to the figures printed in the World Almanac, about ten per cent of the national income. This does not seem to fit in very well with this theory that four per cent of the people own 75 per cent of the national wealth.
When the Rocket's Red Glare Acted as a Motor and Propeller
Harry W. Bull, 21-year-old Syracuse University student, conceived the idea of a sled propelled by the explosive force of rockets. He tried it out on Oneida Lake and it went at a speed of 75 miles an hour until it hit a snowbank and turned over.
Bruce Barton Looks at Ways of Life
OF THE FRONT PAGE
I was talking recently with Ted Clark, who was secretary to Mr. Coolidge at the White House. He told me about one of the famous Gridiron dinners, at which a character was made up to represent the "Front Page". The poor fellow was emaciated and despondent; he complained that Coolidge had ruined him by making so little news.
Ted said: "I think that one of the best and truest tributes that could be paid to Coolidge would be to say: 'He took the government of the United States off the front page.'"
He went on to tell half a dozen dramatic incidents which might easily that in virtually every respect American life in 1931 is drawn to ten times the scale of 1891, says the New York Times. We see government appropriations ten times as big, the national debt more than ten times as big, skyscrapers ten times as high, automobiles ten times as fast, New York's Mayor ten times as witty, New York's police ten times as efficient and as pure, unemployment ten times as impressive, legal processes ten times as long, movie heroes ten times as beautiful, screen heroes ten times as tall, Broadway ten times as rough, college stadiums ten times as capacious, university presidents ten times as efficient, novels ten times as good, young people ten times as wise, Henry Ford ten times as able as Henry James, Mutt and Jeff ten times as funny as Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer, the Democratic party ten times as united as it ever was, Plke's Peak ten times as high as it used to—well no. We must not let ourselves be carried away by enthusiasm from the strictest adherence to the truth.
Short Essays On Popular Topics
FOLLIES OF GOVERNMENT
By SAMUEL UNTERMYER
In an Address Before the University, Club at Los Angeles on American Follies
Our form of government is neither democratic nor highly progressive. The truth is that it is not responsive to the will of the people. With us the Congress that we elected, say, in November, 1930, does not convene until December, 1931. Not only may the issues on which it was elected have ceased to exist, or have been decided adversely to the popular verdict by the "fame duck" Congress that the people have repudiated before the new Congress meets, but, still worse, important
Coolidge at the White House. He told me about one of the famous Gridiron dinners, at which a character was made up to represent the "Front Page". The poor fellow was emaciated and dependent; he complained that Coolidge had ruined him by making so little news.
Ted said: "I think that one of the best and truest tributes that could be paid to Coolidge would be to say: He took the government of the United States off the front page."
He went on to tell half a dozen dramatic incidents which might easily have become national issues if Coolidge had been minded to make a fuss about them. But he handed them so quietly that the public knew nothing about them.
The newspapers are the greatest single educational influence in our lives. By throwing the fierce glare of their search-light in all directions they have been a powerful aid in abolishing secret diplomacy. They have encouraged big business to come out into the open, and they are a constant and tremendous deterrent to crime.
But under our system of government they put an unwilling premium upon the performance of the self-advertiser and the denagogue.
Our Senators are no longer chosen, as they used to be by responsible party organizations in the state legislature. They are nominated in popular primaries.
The easy way for a Senator to keep his voters from forgetting his name is to make them think he is important in Washington. And the easy way to achieve this seeming importance is to attack something, or investigate something, or become otherwise noisy and conspicuous.
But not discouraged.
I have stood in the laboratory where Edison worked so many years to give the world electric light. I have seen the old shed where Kettering first began the experiments which culminated in the self-starter for automobiles. I have visited the tiny village where, in a modest house, Charles Darwin wrote the book that changed the trend of scientific thought. On the gate post is a tablet which this inscription:
"Here Darwin lived and thought for forty years, and here on April 19, 1882, he died."
We can put up patiently with quite a lot of Senators, so long as we know that, back in ten thousand quiet homes and shops and offices, there are Edisons and Ketterings and Darwins.
GROWTH IN FORTY YEARS
Just about forty years ago the American people were greatly stirred up over a Billion-Dollar Congress. Recently our first Ten-Billion-Dollar Congress adjourned. Forty years ago a wise man came forward to comfort his fellow-citizens with the reminder that this is a billion-dollar country. This department now steps into the breach by reminding the world that today this is a heroines ten times as beautiful, screen heroes ten times as tall, Broadway ten times as rough, college stadiums ten times as capacious, university presidents ten times as efficient, novels ten times as good, young people ten times as wise, Henry Ford ten times as able as Henry James, Mutt and Jeff ten times as funny as Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer, the Democratic party ten times as united as it ever was, Plike's Peak ten times as high as it used to—well no. We must not let ourselves be carried away by enthusiasm from the strictest adherence to the truth.
THE ORACULAR ONION
Dijen dispatches report that wine growers of Burgundy have made their forecasts of weather for the year. It is ancient land, a settled place since the third century, and sun and rain mean much to the quality of their vintages. Families through accumulated experience have come to trust the prophecy of others. They cut six ordinary onions into halves on Christmas night, each piece representing a month of the coming twelve. On every piece is dropped a pinch of salt. It melts in a minute or two on some; on others it stays. Those on which it dissolves indicate the months that will be rainy. The longer it lasts on the others steadier will be the sunshine in those changes of the moon.
The intimation of a wettish February has come true. April also is to be normally, probably more than normally, showery, and the rest of this year will be comparatively dry and fine. Burgundians do not pretend to understand how salt and onion in December manage this task of foretelling. The equations, science might say, do not "satisfy such a thing"; yet vineyardists know from experience and the tradition of twenty or thirty generations that the system roughly works. It makes them equal, almost, in meteorological preface, to birds, or larvae of butterflies. And that is strange, because man for his own mental development has to go to great pains to gain the knowledge that small creatures are endowed with.
But there is the prediction; any doubter can in the seasons ahead check it up for himself.
CARVED BY KIT CARSON
A tree carved with the words "Kit Carson 1846" was recently discovered by a United States Forest Service trail crew near Mud Lakes in the Eldorado National Forest of California. Six inches of new wood had grown around the original blaze. Another tree also carved by the famous frontiersman in 1846 is still standing in what is known as Kit Carson Pass on the Eldorado National Forest.
That American prize beauty who shot her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all rights for her husband over in France will come out all Rights for her husband over in France will come出全 Rights for她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出全 Rightsfor她丈夫over在法国willcome出资完全 Rightsfor她丈夫出资完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全完全全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部全部,全部全部全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全部,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面,全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展全面发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进展科学发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展进步发展的变化变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变化变化的变
GROWTH IN FORTY YEARS
Just about forty years ago the American people were greatly stirred up over a Billion-Dollar Congress. Recently our first Ter-Billion-Dollar Congress adjourned. Forty years ago a wise man came forward to comfort his fellow citizens with the reminder that this is a billion-dollar country. This department now steps into the breach by reminding the world that today this is a ten-billion-dollar country.
A glance about us is enough to show a tree carved with the words "Kit Carson 1846" and recently discovered by a United States Forest Service trail crew near Mud Lakes in the Eldorado National Forest of California. Six inches of new wood had grown around the original blaze. Another tree also carved by the famous frontiersman in 1846 is still standing in what is known as Kit Carson Pass on the Eldorado National Forest.
That American prize beauty who shot her husband over in France will come out all right if she has a male jury. Otherwise her chances may not be so good.
Curtains of unbleached muslin are practical for the bathroom as they do not look limp or sleazy when dampened by steamy air. Also they may be laundered frequently. Brighten them up with a border or applique of colored checked gingham, cretonne, or plain chambray.
AREN'T ANTS FUNNY THINGS? THEY WORK, WORK AND WORK-AND NEVER PLAY!
AW, G'WAN! I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THAT!
YOU KNOW IN THE SUMMERTIME WHENEVER YOU GO ON A PICNIC - THE ANTS ARE ALWAYS THERE!
Pinky Dinky JINGLES
ADAM HAD HIS TROUBLES SO DID YOU AND ME, BUT HIS TROUBLES WERE AS NOTHING EVE HE DID SEE!
OBSERVATIONS
ONLY THING MISSING WAS THE SCREAM
News item from another city says: Two bold banits ordered a young lady cashier to open the safe. The lady pretended to faint. Said one of the veggs: Cheese it; the dame's passed out. And they blew.
WHO'S WHO—AND HOW!
If you talk about unemployment and a 5-day week, all in one breath, you are liable to get your wires crossed, or somethin'.
THINGS ARE JUST ABOUT THE SAME
In another county four superior judges were retired to private life at the last election. An editorial writer, commenting on that, said: "It is unfortunate that Judge (named deleted) was defeated because he was an able jurist." That reminds a feller of an old story. A man when questioned as to his relatives said: "I had three brothers—two are dead and one lives in San Malingo."
READY TO OPEN THEIR PARACHUTES
Quite a bit of a rumpus was kicked up awhile ago between some of the old-timers in the movies and a certain producer's company. It seems the row was about money, which is still the root of all evil. The company says very wisely that it puts on "pitchers" and pays for them on a percentage basis, that being based on a box office jingle. The more money that comes in the more the players receive. That's fair enough. But the old-timers it appears are standing on their "reps," and desire to see all the mazuma in a lump before climbing through the ropes. The plot thickens. Maybe the new comers, those who are good, are cutting in on the old preserves. Things do grow old, and maybe the best thing for some of the old timers to do would be to apply for a pension. And yet again it might be a good idea to make some "Smoo" pictures and let nature take its course.
NATIVE WENT INTO TAILSPIN
A report was current on the rialto the other day that the head man of a certain picture company received a salary of $50,000 a week. One man who heard the report swooned, then fell to the sidewalk, completely flabbergasted. Another hombre took on a severe dose of St. Vitus dance and waltzed up the street.
NATIVE WENT INTO TAILSPIN
A report was current on the rialto the other day that the head man of a certain picture company received a salary of $50,000 a week. One man who heard the report swooned, then fell to the sidewalk, completely flabbergasted. Another hombre took on a severe dose of St. Vitus dance and waltzed up the street, whistling there'll be a hot time in the old town tonight. Another who heard the rumor took the jolt more philosophically and contented himself with believing it was an idle report and hot air.
WOULDDA MADE A "YES MAN" OUTTA HIM
In a city in a near by county they uncovered a "frame up" that threatened to rock the city. It seems they used a blonde for a lure, but from latest reports it is learned that the victim escaped the apartment house entanglements. He stands high in the community, but it looks like they wanted to lay him low. These frame up frolics are strange and deceiving, particularly so if the come on gal is a good looker, and the two-fisted he-man has a pleasing personality.
TAKING THE WIND OUT OF THEIR SAILS
About the Sens, who were in Cong. for twenty or thirty years, and then have their careers cut short in such a ruthless manner. It must make them feel as though this is a cold, cruel world after all. To think of their unselfish devotion so harshly terminated without a moment's notice; it would seem to be the unkindest cut of all. And now to retire them to private life they must feel like a fish out of water. Anyway they will have plenty of time to figure out how it happen—and take up life insurance for a living. However, if their deeds were worthy their names and faces may appear in public places and the people may name some streets after them.
DOING HER BIT
In order to add to the hectic unemployment situation the other day an actress divorced her third husband.
ANYWAY HE SAID IT
A man said: "I believe in the "Mortification of the 18th Amendment." Now do you believe he said that on account of the 50-50 complexion of the next conclave—or did he get his English twisted.
"I TOLD YOU SO!"
And then after the votes were counted the guy who was a good guesser was much in evidence, telling of his uncanny personality.
STOPPING THE WHOOPEE
The rumble-seat man said things wouldn't be so bad if people would cut out the jazz, and let the gin alone.
CAUGHT WITH THE GOODS ON THEM
If the democrats get control of congress, which seems likely; they will have a chance to show the proletariat what pre-election
And then after the votes were counted the guy who was a good guesser was much in evidence, telling of his uncanny personality.
STOPPING THE WHOOPEE
The rumble-seat man said things wouldn't be so bad if people would cut out the jazz, and let the gin alone.
CAUGHT WITH THE GOODS ON THEM
If the democrats get control of congress, which seems likely; they will have a chance to show the proletariat what pre-election promises are made out of.
STEERING THE SHIP OF STATE
After 12 years vacation the democrats ought to be in pretty good shape to do something, especially if they would cooperate with the administration.
PADDLING THEIR OWN CANOE
It is reported that married women are taking out insurance in greater numbers than ever before.
HERE AND THERE
Dispatches the other day said a number of elephants in London went on a rampage and 50 people were injured. Over here in November an elephant showed signs of uneasiness; and unless things shape around in good order, within the next year, in all probability he will go on a rampage, too.
HEY, EDDIE, CALL DOC GLAND
A man, aged 72 years, much in the public eye, says he was born 50 gears too soon.
CATCHING THE LAST BOAT
Back east a spinster, 65, married a man, 90, firm in their belief that it is never to late to learn.
BRINGING UP THE REAR
"How long have you lived here?"
"Who, me, Oh I've knocked around these parts night unto 30 year. I'm a pioneer." And then the man bit off a good sized chunk of spittin' terbaccy as he moved up street, meanwhile looking back over his shoulder, mentally wondering who in heck the feller was who had talked to him.
UNCLE SAM HOLDING THE SACK
Quite a few statesmen in Europe still believe that all those war debts should be cancelled.