anaheim-gazette 1925-04-23

THE DOUBLE-BARRELED HOO-MANE SOCIETY Shorty McDonald, Canny Woodsman, Wants the Meat of Five Head of Four-Bar-O Cattle and Orangizes a Humane Society to Get It All Shipshape and Legal By VADNEY BANG! The tin plates and pewter knives and forks on the table top rattled merrily as Shorty McDonald, using his fist for a gavel, struck the table a mighty whack and said, "Gents, this here meetin' comes ter order." Half a dozen lanky backwoodsmen, who had been lounging in their chairs in every manner of curve and angle conducive to rest, brought themselves erect, straightened their faces with the most intellectual look they could muster and stared at Shorty expectantly. Shorty, so-called because standing six feet two in his stocking feet and tipping the scales at 198 was everything else but short, looked his audience over carefully, cleared his throat and continued, "Gents, this here meetin' is called to orgernize a Hoo-mane Sassiety." "What's a Hoo-mane Sassiety?" piped the squeaky voice of Slim Peters, who, in his sixty years and over in camp and on the trail, had secured a fair, workable education in the school of hard knocks, but had never seen the inside of a dictionary or passed a single day in school. Shorty scratched his head in perplexity for a moment, then giving Slim a withering look, he said, "A Hoo-mane Sassiety is a sassiety orgnized fer the prevention of cruelty ter anamiles an' this here sassiety what we is orgernizing is fer the perception of cruelty ter five cow critters what the Four-Bar-O boys done left in the Hole-in-the-Ground." Andy White's Four-Bar-O outfit had ridden hard for over ten days on the fall roundup and, according to the foreman's tall head of stock grass is under three feet of snow and too deep to paw fer. Them critters can't live on fir twigs and moss and we can't drive 'em out." "That's jest it," Shorty explained. "When a Hoo-mane Sassiety gets a critter on their hands what they can't feed, they kills it. But bein' a Hoo-mane Sassiety, they kills it legal an shipshape an' there ain't no hombre what can lead 'em up an' make 'em say good morning' judge for stealin his critters, an' that's what we orgnize this sassiety fer. We elect president an' secretary an' we votes ter kill them critters an' we kills 'em all shipshape an' legal, so old Andy White ain't got nary comeback at us." "What yuh goin' ter do with the acat of the critters?" Peters asked. Yuh ain't goin' ter let it lay for the coyotes ter feed on, air yuh? We jest as well take it home with us." This was the question and statement Shorty had been waiting for. He wanted to divide the meat and use it not only for the boost it would give his own larder, but for the help he knew it would be to the others. But between killing the cattle and street careless records show, this act number of 1924. Two paying the monies streets elsewhere while three feeder this cause year. Two months last month resisted pedestrians be traffic. This three deaths ducks show. Greater safety by motive alike is indicated 57 deaths on first three months though the total months of 1924. Anglers, hunters seekers who North will find condensed info map of the state by the outing actions of the Southern Calif and visiting me. The map is 2 ditton to the lake, it shows where supplies gasoline and offices, meals guides, packers tainable, where ranches where may be purchase interest, scenic main trails and. On the reverse printed all sorption, including McKenzie river Willamette co. Andy White's Four-Bar-O outfit had ridden hard for over ten days on the fall roundup and, according to the foreman's rally, every head of stock had been chased from the deep canyons and dense fir thickets of the Craig Mountain country, which White used for his summer range, and were now at the winter feeding grounds on the Lewiston Flats. The last few days of the roundup were cold and stormy and the cowboys had broke the jungles in their final search for strays in a heavy rain which every little while changed to a freezing sleet. The last bunch of cattle had been hastily gathered and were barely stirred for the Flats, when a heavy snow began falling and the mountain country was quickly covered with a white blanket nearly three feet in depth, making it impossible for stock to travel in or out even hard traveling for a man skis. As soon as the storm was over Shorty McDonald, who was finishing a cabin for a neighbor, had started for his work. His way lay through a natural depression in the land, which at some remote time had been a lake of some two or three hundred acres in extent, but was now dry and covered with a dense growth of tamarack fir and lodge pole pine and was known to the stockmen and settlers of the district as the Hole-in-the-Ground. Hero Shorty found five head of Four-Bar-O cattle standing up to their bellies in the snow and browsing at the moss on the trees. They had been far back in the thicket during the storm and were overlooked by the roundup crew. There was no possible way of getting them out now, and if left where they were their inevitable fate was slow starvation and the eventual prey of coyotes. Shorty knew that the most humane thing he could do would be to kill them, but he also knew that old Andy White had an eratic temper, was quick to anger and a hard man to deal with when his purse strings were tampered with even though in a worthy cause. So not wanting to assume the entire responsibility of killing them himself, White ain't got nary comeback at us. "What yuh goin' ter do with the coat of the critters?" Peters asked. Yuh ain't goin' ter let it lay for the coyotes ter feed on, air yuh? We jest as well take it home with us. This was the question and statement Shorty had been waiting for. He wanted to divide the meat and use it not only for the boost it would give his own larder, but for the help he knew it would be to the others. But between killing the cattle and leaving their carcasses for the coyotes to feast on and killing them and taking the meat home there was a legal technicality which made the one an act of humanity and the other the theft of five head of cattle, with its attendant possibilities if one of the settlers should not approve of the act and inform White as to what had taken place. Shorty had always been fairly honest, had an inherent fear of the law and did not wish to do anything that would detract from his prestige among the men, so he had wanted someone else to suggest the actual use of the meat. Although he did not realize the full value of his power, Short McDohald in rubbing elbows with the world and through the schooling gained in many a hard game of poker had become an adept at reading faces and now, after keen scrutiny of those before him, he knew that every man in the room agreed with Peters, was more than anxious for his share of the beef and was looking to him for his approval. So he felt safe in committing himself. "No!" he said. "We ain't goin' ter let it lay for the coyotes ter eat. This here sassiety what we orgernizes isn't only for the pervention of cruelty ter cow critters, but to hooman critters as well, an' there air some of these here hooman critters in this neck of the woods what is goin' ter be treated purty darn cruel before spring thaw comes if they don't get some more chuck ter line their bellies with than what they got. "So we goes over ter the Hole-in-the-Ground in the mornin' and kills them critters, an' ter make everything shipshape and legal we builds a fire an' we burns the heads, hoofs and hides; then we divides the meat an' takes it home, puts it down in a good brine pickle an' come spring thaw and Andy White's cowboys, we got the criters et an' this here Hoo-mane Sassiety is disorgernized an' fergot about." "By gar!" said French Joe, "Zat Shorty, she's sharp, got ze head like gasoline and offices, meals guides, packers tainable, where ranches where we may be purchase interest, scenic main trails and On the reverse printed all sorption. including McKenzie river Willamette county highway, and highway, Klamath Diamond lake and a list of g There is also no giving distance important cities state via the sh Amateur cam us hints that their outings cooie, and simple ree given. The map is an ing map of Cime time ago by the club. OUR W Southern Californi time in construc any locality in ordering to South less, the officia Angeles Chambers This ought t contractors who loops. A tabl lions just issus building and h Commerce, fre Weather Bureau Southern Call elated General o shows that pr been lost over by workmen in tion work in t re relords to convenience of sections, it is s fered more th ing weather d of which recoun ries being as City St. Paul Denver Boston Chicago New York St. Louis Atlanta Shorty knew that the most humane thing he could do would be to kill them, but he also knew that old Andy White had an eratic temper, was quick to anger and a hard man to deal with when his purse strings were tampered with even though in a worthy cause. So not wanting to assume the entire responsibility of killing them himself and with a plan rapidly forming in his mind, which if carried out would not only take care of the cattle but not him a material gain as well, he made the round of the cabins of the few hardy pountainers who had that summer filed on government claims in the district. Most of these settlers had families and although they were fairly well supplied with bacon, flour and canned food, very few had more than was actually necessary to carry them through the winter and Shorty felt that the additional meat of five head of cattle among them would be more than welcome. At each home he had invited the settler to come to his cabin that evening to take part in an important meeting, but had refused to state what the purpose of the meeting was. He had been the first to locate in the district and, owing to his size and the fact that he had seen more of the outside world than the others, he had assumed an unquestioned leadership among the settlers which, coupled with their natural curiosity, made them obey his request. "What yuh goln' ter do about it?" asked Peters, after Shorty had explained the duties of a humane society and told about seeing the cattle. "There ain't nary hale of hay among the lot of us that can be spared, the the Ground in the mornin' and kills them critters, an' ter make everything shipshape and legal we builds a fire an' we burns the heads, hoofs and hides; then we divides the meat an' takes it home, puts it down in a good brine pickle an' come spring thaw and Andy White's cowboys, we got the critics et an' this here Hoo-mane Sassiety is disorgernized an' fergot about." "By gar!" said French Joe, "Zat Shorty, she's sharp, got ze head like ze tack. We make ze sassiety, we prevent ze cruelty to ze animal by keel heem an' we eat ze meat to pervent ze cruelty to ourselves. She's ze one gran' idea. By gar! She's ze what yuh call ze double-barreled Hoo-mane Sassiety. Let's go." AUTOMOBILE NOTES All main roads to Yellowstone National Park will be in good condition when the formal opening of the park takes place on June 18 at West Yellowstone; Mont., the western entrance to the park, according to advice from the touring bureau of the Automobile Club of Southern California. Although the hotels and permanent camps will not be open until June 18, when the roads are free from snow, which sometimes occurs several weeks earlier, motorists having their own camping equipment will be permitted to enter the park. Food supplies are obtainable at the park stores. The scurrying pedestrian is apparently getting wise to the ways of reckless motorists, according to the summary causes for motor vehicle fatalities for March in Los Angeles as obtained from reports of the public safety department of the club. One person died through crossing a ANAHEIM GAZETTE Oldsmobile Six Only a Ride Can Describe Performance Like This! Have you driven an Oldsmobile Six lately? 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In taking the chairmanship, the governor said: "It is with genuine pleasure that I accept the chairmanship of the state committee which is to direct the campaign for the American Legion endowment fund in California. "No work is more necessary or important than that of rehabilitating the men who were disabled fighting for our country in the World War and of properly providing for the upbringing of the orphans of the patriots who sacrificed their lives in the great conflict. "The American Legion's program of rehabilitation and child welfare is just and economical, and should receive the approval and active interest of every good American." Among the prominent Californians on President Coolidge's committee in charge of the campaign are Secretaries Hoover and Wilbur, William G. McAdoo, John R. Quinn and Mrs. Alma de Brettville Spreckles. State Adjutant James K. Fisk of the American Legion will journey to Healdsburg this week to present an Miss Nichols was one of the 300,000 school children who contested last year in the Legion's annual essay competition writing on the subject, "Why Is Communism a Menace to Americanism?" The award is in the form of a beautiful silver medal symbolic of the contest and the Legion. National headquarters of the American Legion has set Thursday, April 30, to be observed as Americanism Day throughout the country. This year marks the fifth annual roll call under the auspices of the Legion of all patriotic, fraternal, educational and civic forces to emphasize the ideals and principles of American citizenship. All religious denominations throughout the nation have been urged to speak Sunday, May 3, on the subject "For God and Country." Americanism Day was inaugurated by the Legion to offset the propaganda and efforts of the communists, Reds and extreme radicals to spread lawlessness and violence throughout the world on May Day, with their hope of bringing ultimate destruction to the government of the United States. The 303 American Legion posts in California have been called upon by Morgan Keaton, state chairman of the Americanism committee, to hold suitable exercises in their respective communities and to especially welcome at that time all newly made American citizens. Tennessee has passed a law against CONSIDER THIS A BANK failure, poor investments, business reverses, fire, sickness may suddenly sweep away your fortune and leave your children penniless. Give them one of our thorough courses and they will have something which will never depreciate in value and will be worth most when needed. Orange County Business College SANTA ANA, CALIFORNIA B. 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