anaheim-gazette 1904-04-21

NOVEL SHIP BRAKE. Enables Vessel Under Full Steam to Stop Almost Dead. The Canadian government has recently equipped one of its vessels—the steamer Eureka, plying on inland waters—with a ship brake. As the name indicates, the brake is intended to check the speed of a vessel. It can also be utilized to assist in turning about in a limited shipway. During a recent trial made in the St. Lawrence river near Montreal the steamer was driven ahead at an indicated speed of eleven knots an hour. Steam was then shut off, and simultaneously the brake on each side opened. The vessel came to a full stop within a distance equal to her own length. The brakes were then closed, the vessel was sent ahead until the original rate of speed was attained, when the engines were reversed and the brakes opened, with the result that all headway ceased after she had gone but fifty feet, about half her length. In maneuvering the Eureka at full speed was turned also within her own length with one brake thrown open. An examination of the hull and brake mechanism after the tests showed apparently no harmful strain or other damage, and in operating the brake no jar or vibration was observed by those on board. This new form of brake is placed on the sides of the hull and in its construction and method of attachment to the ship resembles somewhat an ordinary rudder. When it is desired to stop the vessel suddenly, as in the event of a collision, or when making a landing the catches that hold the forward ends of the gate are released, and by means of the bevel gear the gate is slightly opened. The pressure of the water then catches on the forward edge of the gate, swings it out to the full open position, sudden jar or shock being prevented by means of the water cushions at the back of the slides. The movement of the brake can be controlled entirely either from the bridge or from the engine room, as may be desired. CALIFORNIA'S GREATNESS. California has the largest seed farms in the world. California leads all the states in the production of barley. The Golden Gate is the western portal for America's great future commerce. California is the only state in the Union in which bituminous rock is FACTS ABOUT ANAHEIM. Sketch of the industries and Resources of this Most Beautiful Part of California. The City of Anaheim, with a population of 2500, is situated in the northern part of Orange county, in Southern California, 12 miles from the ocean, 41 miles from the foothills, and 1481 feet above sea level. It is 27 miles from Los Angeles, the second largest city in the State of California. The climatic conditions are the most favorable for out-door life to be found in Southern California. The temperature is extremely uniform, seldom rising above 90 degrees in summer, or falling below 32 degrees in winter. The abundance of sunlight and the absence of sharp frosts and cold winds make it a place especially acceptable to those desiring to escape the severe climate of the east. The country is very attractive. It is practically level, with just sufficient slope from the hills to afford adequate drainage. The roads are level, well graded, and well kept, affording excellent opportunities for cycling and driving. The soil is a rich sandy loam which never bakes, making it a very easy ground to work; thus lending itself readily to the cultivation of berries, nuts, oranges, etc. The variety of products, and the possibility of procuring small tracts of land at low figures, and on easy terms, make our section of the county very attractive and advantageous for truck raising, or for farming on a small scale. The following are a few of the products: oranges, lemons, walnuts, grapes, peaches, apricots, sugar beets; berries and vegetables of all kinds. Anaheim is the possessor of a Building and Loan Association, Water company, two railroads, fruit cannery and drier, large oil industry, ostrich farm, bank, several adequate commercial houses, two hotels and two newspapers. The city also owns its water and lighting plant. CALIFORNIA'S GREATNESS. California has the largest seed farms in the world. California leads all the states in the production of barley. The Golden Gate is the western portal for America's great future commerce. California is the only state in the Union in which bituminous rock is found. California has a larger per capita wealth than any other state in the Union. California produces more oranges and lemons than any other state in the Union. The United States mint at San Francisco is the largest institution of the kind in the world. For many years past San Francisco has been and still is the leading whaling port of the world. The glory of California's flowers is practical. The state produces more honey than any other. California produces more English walnuts than all the other states, and they are of better quality.—Exchange. Uncle Sam's New Orange. After struggling for more than five years the vegetable pathologist and physiologist of the department of agriculture, A. F. Woods, has produced a hardy orange that will grow as far north as the District of Columbia, but the fruit is sourer than any lemon ever grown. Mr. Woods has been trying to hybridize an orange tree that will not be subject to killing frosts, such as frequently kill the entire groves of Florida planters. He intends to spend $1,558 on this work again this year. New Way To Kill Moths. The Massachusetts authorities are planning to introduce a new method of fighting the gypsy moths, which have done so much damage to agriculture in that state and for whose extinction as a national enemy congress has been asked to appropriate $250,000. The new plan of breeding parasites to attack them has been tested in California by Mr. Kochbele of Alameda and found effective. Robbed the Grave. A startling incident is narrated by John Oliver of Philadelphia as follows: "I was in an awful condition. My skin was almost yellow, eyes sunken, tongue coated, pain continually in back and sides, no appetite, growing weaker day by day. Three physicians had given me up. Then I was advised to use Electric Bitters; to my great joy the first bottle made a decided improvement. I continued their use for three weeks and am now a well man. I know they robbed the grave of another victim." No one should fall to try them. Only 50 cents, guaranteed, at W. B. Hutchinson's drug store. FACTS ABOUT ORANGE CO. The census bureau has issued a bulletin on agriculture in California which we quote from extensively in another part of this issue. One of the interesting features of the report is the paragraph giving the number of farms and acres of farming lands in the five Southern California counties. The pre-eminence of Orange county is apparent: Counties. No. farms. Acres. Los Angeles...6577 895,063 Orange...2286 569,436 Riverside...2340 427,097 San Bernardino...2350 219,132 San Diego...2698 809,419 But it is in the acreage of irrigated lands that Orange county takes easy precedence over the other counties of Southern California: Counties. Acres. Los Angeles...85,614 Orange...41,549 Riverside...32,947 San Bernardino...37,877 San Diego...16,022 The area of Orange county is 780 square miles; that of Los Angeles, 3880; that of Riverside, 7008; that of San Bernardino, 20,055; and that of San Diego, 8400 square miles. Orange county thus contains one-fifth the area of Los Angeles; yet its irrigated lands approach in area to one-half those of its neighbor to the north. Riverside embraces nine times its area, yet it irrigates 9000 more acres, or a fourth more than the belaued county on the east. San Bernardino is 25 times its size, yet its irrigated acres exceed those of this jumbo county by nearly 4000, approximately ten per cent. San Diego is eleven times its size, yet it irrigates 25,000 acres more than the county on the south—300 per cent is the former's irrigated area as compared with that of the latter—almost the irrigated area of San Diego and Riverside combined. Orange county possesses the finest system of irrigation, the most secure water rights, that exist in Southern California. That is what we have said many a time and oft.. These figures prove it. It is the handsomest and most productive county that lies outdoors and is settling up faster than any other in the State. Life's Rocky Road. A man's life is full of crosses and temptations, says the philosopher of the Atchison Globe. He comes into a small scale. The following are a few of the products: oranges, lemons, walnuts, grapes, peaches, apricots, sugar beets; berries and vegetables of all kinds. Anaheim is the possessor of a Building and Loan Association, Water company, two railroads, fruit cannery and drier, large oil industry, ostrich farm, bank several adequate commercial houses, two hotels and two newspapers. The city also owns its water and lighting plant. FACTS ABOUT ORANGE CO. The census bureau has issued a bulletin on agriculture in California which we quote from extensively in another part of this issue. One of the interesting features of the report is the paragraph giving the number of farms and acres of farming lands in the five Southern California counties. The pre-eminence of Orange county is apparent: Counties. No. farms. Acres. Los Angeles...85,614 Orange...41,549 Riverside...32,947 San Bernardino...37,877 San Diego...16,022 The area of Orange county is 780 square miles; that of Los Angeles, 3880; that of Riverside, 7008; that of San Bernardino, 20,055; and that of San Diego, 8400 square miles. Orange county thus contains one-fifth the area of Los Angeles; yet its irrigated lands approach in area to one-half those of its neighbor to the north. Riverside embraces nine times its area, yet it irrigates 9000 more acres, or a fourth more than the belaued county on the east. San Bernardino is 25 times its size, yet its irrigated acres exceed those of this jumbo county by nearly 4000, approximately ten per cent. San Diego is eleven times its size, yet it irrigates 25,000 acres more than the county on the south—300 per cent is the former's irrigated area as compared with that of the latter—almost the irrigated area of San Diego and Riverside combined. Orange county possesses the finest system of irrigation, the most secure water rights, that exist in Southern California. That is what we have said many a time and oft.. These figures prove it. It is the handsomest and most productive county that lies outdoors and is settling up faster than any other in the State. Life's Rocky Road. A man's life is full of crosses and temptations, says the philosopher of the Atchison Globe. He comes into a small scale. The following are a few of the products: oranges, lemons, walnuts, grapes, peaches, apricots, sugar beets; berries and vegetables of all kinds. A Yankee instructor has developed shaving mug; says the Scientist Jean, which is provided with a means for holding the cake on ing soap normally may readily be dipped into when desired. The cake of soap on a perforated plate which has ported by colled springs extends ward from the bottom of this side wall of the mug Dragging Pains 2825 Keeley St., Chicago, Ill., Oct., 2, 1902. I suffered with falling and congestion of the womb, with severe pains through the groins. I suffered terribly at the time of menstruation, had blinding headaches and rushing of blood to the brain. What to try I knew not, for it seemed that I had tried all and failed, but I had never tried Wine of Cardui, that blessed remedy for sick women. I found it pleasant to take and soon knew that I had the right medicine. New blood seemed to course through my veins and after using eleven bottles I was a well woman. Mrs. Bush is now in perfect health because she took Wine of Cardui for menstrual disorders, bearing down pains and blinding headaches when all other remedies failed to bring her relief. Any sufferer may secure health by taking Wine of Cardui in her home. The first bottle convinces the patient she is on the road to health. For advice in cases requiring special directions, address, giving symptoms, "The Ladies' Advisory Department," The Chattanooga Medicine Co., Chattanooga, Tenn. WINE OF CARDUI Life's Rocky Road. A man's life is full of crosses and temptations, says the philosopher of the Atchison Globe. He comes into this world without his consent and goes out against his will, and the trip between the two is exceedingly rocky. The rule of contrarries is one of the important features of the trip. When he is little the big girls kiss him, but when he is grown the little girls kiss him. If he raises a large family he is a chump, but if he raises a small check he is a thief. If he is poor he is a bad manager; if he is rich he is dishonest. If he's in politics it's for ple; if he's out of politics you can't place him, and he's no good for his country. If he doesn't give to charity he is a stingy cuss; if he does it is for show. If he dies young there was a great future ahead for him; if he lives to an old age he has missed his calling. He is introduced into this world and to the next by the same process. The road is rocky, but man loves to travel it. Advanced. "You say that Lord Fucash's social position has improved since he married a rich American girl?" "Yes, indeed. Formerly he was only a nobleman, but now he belongs to our helresstocracy."—Exchange. Particular. "What sort of money will you have, Mrs. Mumm?" asked the cashier when that lady presented a large check for payment. "Sterilized," replied Mrs. Mumm.—Life. Winter. Yeast—When we get real cold weather, they say we are getting a taste of winter. What is the taste of winter? Crimsonbeak—Why, it's when it is bitter. Yankers Statesman. Orange county possesses the finest system of irrigation, the most secure water rights, that exist in Southern California. That is what we have said many a time and oft. These figures prove it. It is the handsomest and most productive county that lies outdoors and is settling up faster than any other in the State. He was apparently a man wit, for once, before he permeated public to gaze upon him, an in person had gained access toence by pretending to be a sportsman interested in the pet mare, whereupon Lambert replied, "She was bred by Impress out of Curiosity." Before then Daniel Lambert, Edward Malden was a well known fat though his name no longer had a household word. He died in the age of thirty years, weighing two stone and seven pounds stated to have been an active year or two before his death his corpulency so overpower strength that his life was a bit his death a deliverance. Bottle and Lambert seem to have been good humored fellows and very among those who visited their deed popularity seems to be the corpulent in fact as well tion. The heroes of fiction, have the advantage in the lasting glory, and the names Lambert and the fat boy of sink into insignificance besides Falstaff and the fat boy in "P-London Standard." England's Magna Charta That strivigued parchment, letter of English freedom, was said, by the veriest chance scissors of a merciless tailor by the great seals attached to of paper the tailor was cutting Robert Cotton stopped the gave him fourpence for the he would have destroyed. It the British museum, lined and in a glass case, the shapeless mass of wax and thtters quite illegible.—London HOTELS AND BOARDING HOUSES! THE Rock Island System spends thousands of dollars every year for the sole purpose of encouraging travel to California. We issue expensive booklets describing the resorts of California. We publish a list of the hotels and boarding houses of California. Our advertisements of California appear in the principal publications of the country. We are doing everything in our power to help build up California. For these reasons we feel justified in asking for your cooperation. If you know of any one who expects to come to California, will you not send us their name and address? Do this and we will have our eastern representatives call on them—to your advantage and ours. F. L. MILLER, District Passenger Agent, 237 So. Spring St., Los Angeles. HEROIC REMEDIES Whipping Was Prescribed at One Time For Insanity and Fits. Ill health is a bad thing at any time, but 150 years ago it was made more terrible by the remedies in use. Bloodletting, of course, was a simple affair. A writer in Macmillan's Magazine says that everybody was bled twice a year—in the spring and autumn. The barbers were the surgeons and, like wise men, adapted their prices to their patients. A gentleman who so indulged himself as to go to bed to be bled was charged half a crown and his fine lady half a sovereign. Certain days were unlucky for bloodletting, and nothing would induce the barbers to operate on these occasions. Serious diseases seem to have been beyond the medical skill of the day. Villages and towns simply drove out the infected from their midst. Among remedies herbs of course played a great part. "For salves," runs an old notebook which had a great vogue, "the country parson's wife seeks not the city and prefers her garden and fields before all outlandish gums." Sage was held a very great medicine. It was even asked in Latin, "Why should any one die who has sage in his garden?" If any one had a disease of the mouth, the Eighth Psalm should be read for three days, seven times on each day. As a remedy it was "sovereign." For insanity or fits whipping was prescribed. Little wonder that mortality was great. In old days in Wessex, England, persons with infectious diseases were confined in the lockup, and whipping was deemed too good for them. Should the sick be loud in lament, the watchman kept them quiet by this popular discipline, and one town has upon its records, "Paid T. Haskins for whipping two people that had the smallpox eightpence." Fortunately the spirit of this age is different from that. "THE SLEEPLESS ARCH." Old Hindoo Principle the Basis of All Modern Bridges. Although the building of great arches of masonry dates beyond the ancient Roman civilization, the principle that gives strength to the massive stone bridges of today is the same that built the bridges of the Roman empire. The history of bridge building is, to a large degree, the history of the arch, whose efficiency lies in the truth of the old Hindoo saying that "the arch never sleeps" because each separate section of which it consists, beginning at the... Yankee historian has devised a shaving mug, a Swiss Scientifique Americano, which is provided with a simple pan for holding the cake of shavings for holding the cake of shavings for soap normally out of contact with water, but in such manner that it readily be dipped into the water when desired. The cake of soap rests on a perforated plate, which is supported by colled springs extending upward from the bottom of the mug. The side wall of the mug extends. SHAVING MUG IN SECTION. Nowwhat below the bottom and fits roughly into a pan, thereby forming a closed chamber. Two ports in the bottom of the shaving mug open into the chamber, but he normally closed by valve plates controlled by a rod extending outward through the wall of the cup. The valves are opened when it is desired to clean the mug, fresh water being poured in at the top until the parts are thoroughly clean. In use, when it is desired to dampen or wet the soap, it may be forced downward into the water by pressure of the lather brush, and of course upon releasing this pressure the coll springs will move the soap upward out of the water. FAMOUS FOR FAT. Daniel Lambert, Who Died In 1809, Got Too Obese to Waddle. The fame of Daniel Lambert as a champion among fat men in England, not in the world, still remains unvailed. Daniel was born at Leicester in 1770 and died in 1800 at Stamford. The grandson of a celebrated cocktail and addicted to sport throughout his life, his dimensions were not extraordinary, and his habits were not different from those of other lads until he was fourteen years old. When twenty-three years of age, however, he turned the scale at thirty-two stone, and although he is recorded to have been then able to walk from Woolwich to London, at the time of his death, in his fortieth year, he had attained the prodigious weight of fifty-two stone, or 28 pounds, and was more or less helpless. He was a modest man, and when he had achieved physical greatness he was thrust upon him. He was for a long time unwilling to be made show of, but he gained a more than local reputation, and people traveled far from to see him, resorting to various devices in order to be allowed to do so. At length the prospect of profit overcame his resolution, and for four years before his death he exhibited himself in London and in the provinces. He was apparently a man of some virtue for once before he permitted the Something About the Habits of the Ocean Monsters. Both whalers and naturalists have usually held that when whales "sound" they descend to great depths, says Knowledge. One writer on the subject estimates that the larger members of the group dive fully a thousand yards. In a memoir published in Belgium Dr. Racovitzta challenges this belief and states that in his opinion 100 yards is the maximum depth to which any whale can dive and that many species cannot reach anything like that limit. Says the writer: Why should whales want to go to such depths? All whales sound for the purpose of obtaining food, and in the profound darkness of 1,000 yards what food could they get? Those species which feed on animalcules might, perhaps, obtain what they want. But how about the species which feed on fishes and cutties? At a depth of 1,000 yards they certainly could not use their eyes to detect nonluminous species, and we have no evidence whatever that they feed on the self luminous deep sea fish and cuttles, if, indeed, there be any of the latter. On the contrary, the available evidence indicates that they feed on ordinary light dwelling fishes and cuttles which live in much shallower zones. But this is not all. It is known that the effects of a pressure of more than three atmospheres prove fatal to human life; and, although we may believe that whales can stand treble this pressure, or nine atmospheres, which would occur at about ninety yards' depth, is it conceivable that they could resist the effect of ten times the latter pressure, or ninety atmospheres? Moreover, does it seem possible that a whale whose body is only slightly heavier than water at ordinary pressure could exert the muscular force necessary to propel that body to a depth of 1,000 yards? THE HEART OF HUNGARY. Pest, Which Is Joined by a Hyphen and Five Bridges to Buda. Situated on a river which hears more tongues than any other on its long journey to the sea, feeling the influence of the orient as well as the occident, expressive of the progress of a race whose heart is young, is Pest, one of the newest of cities, joined by a hyphen and five bridges to Buda, one of the oldest of capitals. Here there need be no strife between their sentiment that would preserve an ancient building and the enterprise that would put something more serviceable in its place. In much the same way that one may have portraits of his ancestors hung on the walls of a steam heated house without interfering with the utilities, so the Magyar from a comfortable chair in his cafe, while he listens to stock exchange quotations or the opera over the telephone, may look across the Danube at the monuments of the Hungarian past. On our part we should have a parallel if Washington were the commercial metropolis as well as the capital and we moved the heights of Arlington farther down the Potomac and crowned them with Liberty hall, Castle William and Old South church. In other European cities where an old municipal site adjoins a modern, though hills are leveled and moats filled, the erasing effect of narrow alley-" "The SLEEPLESS ARCH." Old Hindoo Principle the Basis of All Modern Bridges. Although the building of great arches of masonry dates beyond the ancient Roman civilization, the principle that gives strength to the massive stone bridges of today is the same that built the bridges of the Roman empire. The history of bridge building is, to a large degree, the history of the arch, whose efficiency lies in the truth of the old Hindoo saying that "the arch never sleeps" because each separate section of which consists, beginning at the keystone, or central section, is constantly pushing against its immediate neighbors until the pressure finally reaches the firm foundation upon which the structure is erected. To secure a perfectly trustworthy foundation, therefore, the bridge builder has often to penetrate far below the surface of the earth, and not infrequently the part of his structure thus covered up and concealed is greater than that visible above ground. It was their inability to solve the problem of a trustworthy foundation that led the ancient Hindoos to distrust the arch, arguing that the sleepless activity that held it together was equally active in tearing it to pieces. Not only is the modern bridge builder skilled in setting his structure on a firm base, but thoroughly acquainted with the time honored materials for his work, to say nothing of new materials, and an important part of his student training in such modern schools as the Massachusetts Institute of Technology is devoted to methods of testing materials during construction that would have surprised and delighted even the most accomplished of the ancient Roman engineers. Hurrying Up the Baby. A correspondent sends us an extract from a poem which recently appeared in a South African paper, thinking we shall approve of its sentiments. We do, we do. The inspired verse is entitled "Making A Man" and begins: Hurry the baby as fast as you can, Hurry him, worry him, make him a man; Off with his baby clothes, get him in pants, Feed him on brain foods and make him advance; Hustle him, soon as he's able to walk, Into a grammar school, cram him with talk; Fill his poor head full of figures and facts, Keep on a-jamming them in till it cracks. —London Review. A Bargain Hunter. It was a pleasant looking Irishwoman, says the Philadelphia Ledger, who walked into a store and asked price of the collars she had displayed in the window. "Two for a quarter," said the clerk. "How much would that be one?" "Thirteen cents." She pondered; then, with her forefinger, she seemed to be making invisible calculations on the sleeve of her coat. "That," she said, "would make the other collar twelve clents, wouldn't it? Just give me that wan." That Musical Ear. Praxiteles — You perhaps wouldn't "A Great Sensation." There was a big sensationville, Ind., when W.H. Brace place has often to penetrate far below the surface of the earth, and not infrequently the part of his structure thus covered up and concealed is greater than that visible above ground. It was their inability to solve the problem of a trustworthy foundation that led the ancient Hindoos to distrust the arch, arguing that the sleepless activity that held it together was equally active in tearing it to pieces. At what age do you conside most charming? asked female of more or less age. At the age of woman did she question her question," answered she was a diplomat—New York. Ups and Downs "Oh well, everybody has downs!" "That's right. Just at down pretty low because I—Exchange. Under evolution theory needs millions of years to become man, whereas a man a monkey of himself in Birmingham Age-Herald. The "Czar" went to A foreign nobleman who speaks true is somewhat boved some men a night play cards in his house was a convivial one,and "merry as a marriage late,and fears were expre party that they were tresse kindness of mislea house who,bylewaywent. Not at all,gentlemen; Play as long as you please here," said the master of "Yes,gentlemen; play as please," said a silvery rose immediately as he before them."But as i clockthe czar is going went. Soft. "Yes," he declared," grows to be like the thing "You must have been brassmalows," she suggest go Record-Herald. He was apparently a man of some wit, for once, before he permitted the public to gaze upon him, an inquisitive person had gained access to his presence by pretending to be a fellow sportsman interested in the pedigree of a mare, whereupon Lambert promptly replied, "She was bred by Impertinence out of Curiosity." Before the days of Daniel Lambert, Edward Bright of Malden was a well known fat man, although his name no longer lingers as a household word. He died in 1750 at the age of thirty years, weighing forty-two stone and seven pounds, and is stated to have been an active man till a year or two before his death, when his corpulency so overpowered his strength that his life was a burden and its death a deliverance. Both Bright and Lambert seem to have been genial, good humored fellows and very popular among those who visited them. Indeed popularity seems to be the lot of the corpulent in fact as well as in fiction. The heroes of fiction, however, have the advantage in the matter ofasting glory, and the names of Daniel Lambert and the fat boy of Peckham link into insignificance beside those of Falstaff and the fat boy in "Pickwick." London Standard. England's Magna Charta. That she视似 parchment, the charter of English freedom, was saved, it is said, by the veriest chance from the clauses of a mercelless tailor. Struck by the great seals attached to a piece of paper the tailor was cutting up, Sir Robert Cotton stepped the man and gave him fourpence for the document he would have destroyed. It is now in the British museum, lined and mounted and in a glass case, the seal a chapelless mass of wax and the characters quite illegible—London Mall. Subscribe for the Gazette Everybody Knows About Pain-Killer A Household Medicine A Life and Sure cure for Cramps Coughs Bruises Diarrhoea Golds Burns Sprains and Strains. Gives instant relief. Two sizes, 95c. and 60c. Only one Pain Killer, Perry Davis.* DR PIERCE'S IT MAKES WEAK WOMEN STRONG AND SICK WOMEN WELL. RECOMMENDED BY ATHLETIC WOMEN HEALTHY MOTHERS EVERYWHERE FAVORITE PRESCRIPTION FAVORITE PRESCRIPTION A Great Sensation. There was a big sensation in Leesville, Ind., when W. H. Brown of that place, who was expected to die, had his life saved by Dr. King's New Discovery for Consumption. He writes: "I endured insufferable agonies from Asthma, but your New Discovery gave me immediate relief and soon thereafter effected a complete cure." Similar cures of Consumption, Pneumonia, Bronchitis and Grip are numerous. It's the peerless remedy for all throat and lung troubles. Guaranteed by W. B. Hutchinson, Druggist. Trial bottles free. Tactful. "At what age do you consider women the most charming?" asked the inquisitive female of more or less uncertain age. "At the age of the woman who asks the question," answered the man, who was a diplomat—New Yorker. Ups and Downs. "Oh, well, everybody has his ups and downs!" "That's right. Just at present I'm down pretty low because I'm hard up."—Exchange. Under the evolution theory a monkey needs millions of years in which to become man, whereas a man can make a monkey of himself in a minute.—Birmingham, Age-Herald. The "Czar" Went to Bed. A foreign nobleman who, if report speaks true, is somewhat henpecked invited some men a night or two ago to play cards in his house. The meeting was a convivial one, and all went "merry as a marriage bell." It grew late, and fears were expressed by the party that they were trespassing upon the kindness of the mistress of the house, who, by the way, was not present. "Not at all, gentlemen; not at all. Play as long as you please. I am czar here," said the master of the mansion. "Yes, gentlemen, play as long as you please," said a silvery voice, and all rose immediately as the baroness stood before them. "But as it is after 1 o'clock the czar is going to bed." He went. Soft. "Yes," he declared, "I think one grows to be like the things he eats." "You must have been brought up on marshmallows," she suggested.—Chicago Record-Herald. WHY KINLOCH PASTE IS THE IDEAL HOUSE PAINT The purpose of House Paint is to Protect and Beautify. "Kinloch oil is the life of paint" because it is the binder, the mucilage, that holds the pigments (the dry paint) to the surface; and only when the oil loses this binding quality through its disintegration by atmospheric influences should the loosened dry particles of pigment come off. The cities of the pigment is decorative and also preservative in prolonging the life of the oil by protecting it from the elements. Absolute certainty of the purity of the linseed oil constitutes the chief economy in paint buying, for to exactly the extent that the binding quality of the oil is weakened by the use of adulterants or cheap "thinners," the durability of the whole paint is diminished. You have this absolute certainty of the quality of the oil in the Paint put on your house when you buy Kinloch Paint, because you buy the oil separately and give your paint this absolutely certain durability by mixing this oil gallon for gallon with the thick "Kinloch" paste in which, for your convenience and the certainty of proper proportions, all the pigments, tinting color, "burge" and dryers are ground together and sold you, ready for the admixture of the pure raw oil by yourself. These facts alone make "Kinloch" the ideal paint; but besides this guarantee of durability through your personal knowledge of the purity of the oil, is the fact that when you buy two gallons of the ordinary ready-mixed paint—the "ready for the brush" sort—you pay the ready-mixed paint price for the one gallon of oil therein, regardless of its purity, or 2 I/3 to 6 times more than for the fresh pure oil in your local dealer's barrel. We invite correspondence from those who use or buy House Paint. WHEREVER WE HAVE NO AGENT. YOUR OWN DEALER WILL GET "KINLOCH" FOR YOU, IF SHOWN THIS AD., BY WRITING DIRECT TO KINLOCH PAINT COMPANY, ST. LOUIS, MO. THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE. SOLD BY H. A. DICKEL, ANAHEIM, CAL. To the East The traveler seeking the most comfortable, economical and quickest way,naturally looks up a Santa Fe agent, that he may secure full information about this route,and get a copy of pamphlet giving in detail the pleasures of traveling In a Tourist Sleeper Personally conducted THE GAZETTE "Not at all, gentlemen; not at all. Play as long as you please. I am czar here," said the master of the mansion. "Yes, gentlemen, play as long as you please," said a silvery voice, and all rose immediately as the baroness stood before them. "But as it is after 1 o'clock the czar is going to bed." He went. Soft: "Yes," he declared, "I think one grows to be like the things he eats." "You must have been brought up on marshmallows," she suggested.—Chicago Record-Herald. Part of Her. Doctor—Your wife must keep out of excitement. Mr. Brisque—She can't, doctor. She carries it around with her.—Indianapolis Journal. Contentment comes from making the very best of whatever you have, be it much or little.—Maxwell's Talisman. A Scathing Retort. An English lawyer who had been cross examining a witness for some time and who had sorely taxed the patience of the judge, jury and every one in the court was finally asked by the court to conclude his cross examination. Before telling the witness to stand down he accosted him with this parting sarcasm: "Ah, you're a clever fellow—a very clever fellow. We can all see that." The witness leaned over from the box and quietly retorted: "I would return the compliment if I were not on oath."—"Personalla." THE GAZETTE JOB - OFFICE Is fitted to do all kinds of Commercial Printing From a Card to a Book or a Transcript, Etc., Etc. Call and see us and get prices. All work done in the highest state of the art.