anaheim-gazette 1898-04-28

JAPANESE JOKES. The People of That Country Enjoy Such Fun—Samples of Their Humor. The Japanese have a keen sense of humor, and their literature abounds in witty sayings and funny stories. They also appreciate the better class of jokes published in other countries, and many a bright paragraph and laughter-provoking dialogue is translated from the American press and reprinted in the native papers. Japanese jokes are artistic, subtle, and to be enjoyed must be understood in the original. A foreigner examining the Japanese language and noting its peculiar construction of idioms might think it a rather laborious matter to joke intelligently in that tongue. For instance, where we ask, "How is your mother?" the polite Japanese would propound a query, which, on being literally rendered into English, runs as follows: "Your mother as for honorably well being is?" Where we say, "Please speak louder," he would say, in effect, "More big voice by means-of deigning to speak condescend;" and, where we might observe, "We shall have a thunderstorm," his remarks again literally interpreted, would be to this effect: "Thunder emitting-sound storm to appears likely to become being is." And yet the rarest kind of humor and fun are easily and delicately expressed by him. A good example of Japanese humor is the story of two men who were stone deaf, and who meeting each other one morning, indulged in the following dialogue: "First deaf man—Good morning. Are you going to buy sake (something to drink)?" "Second deaf man—I am going to buy sake." "First deaf man—Oh, excuse me, I thought you were going to buy sake." Neither had heard nor understood a syllable of what the other was saying. Another story in which the national drink figures, runs as follows. It may be explained that sake is liked best when made hot: A toper, feeling "headachy" on the day after a spree, had fallen asleep with a towel wrapped around his head. Next he dreamed that he had found a casket of sake, which caused him so much joy that he licked his chops before tasting it. "How delicious!" he exclaimed. "It would be the proper thing to report the find at Police Headquarters; but a windfall like this sake—no! I cannot let it escape me. Well shall I take a glass? No, there will be were at once sent down to ascertain the cause. They went to the bottom of the harbor and explored carefully every inch of the hull and bottom. They were unable to locate the source of the disturbance or anything that seemed to threaten the vessel. This report, however, did not allay the fear of the seamen, and an order was issued stopping every piece of machinery on board the boat, it being thought possible that she raps were proceeding from the dynamo. Within the ship all was made as quiet as death, save for the rappings, that continued at the same regular rate of 140 to minute. The rappings had a metallic sound, just as would have resulted from a hammer or mallet tapping against the side of the vessel, and a small-sized panic prevailed among the men. The officers, too, felt somewhat mystified and alarmed, but in order to set a good example to the men they went below and turned in, and many of them the next morning expressed themselves as having been exceedingly gratified when they were able to get to sleep. The example set by the officers was not followed by the crew. They would have mutinied before they would have gone below that night. Instead of seeking their bunks these gallant seamen willing and ready to face a VOICE OF THE PRIVATE THE DUTY OF THE HOCKEY From the San Francisco Pond Out of confusion of counsels the Babel of tongues; out of sighs of rapacity and greed; out of city of words without wisdom darkeneth counsel; out of false and true; out of a general of doubt and uncertainty, is reached definition, and war has rialized. It is hard to believe that the States of America is about to fall in a war with Spain; but surely questionably the truth. The scarcely receives as an actual fact that we are about to end death grapple with the ancient sular monarchy; but in very real upon us. We enter upon this confidance undimmed by our shadow of a doubt. We know shall be victorious. We feel energy and awful determination a great people and our concern offspring of conscious power. Beyond the feebleness of far above the weaknesses of statesmanship; patriotic devotionate loyalty to our command that but one thought savage the national purpose thought is one of ultimate victory. The one paramount duty of is to sustain the hands of the United States; to dance dissension at home; to vide counsells in and out of life to bear the adversity which necessarily entail with patrol upon the sacrifice of life outpouring of national treasured animosity and hope. Diplomacy may have erroneous manship may have been feeble potency; but the errors which will bring upon it the field battle come irretrievable disaster if mit them to result in ultimate no man can foretell the resunexpected is the only thing happen. The war upon while entering may involve the prittions of the earth in sanguine flot. It may terminate months; it may continue years. We may be entering career of warfare which will patriotism and resources of it to the utmost tension of its However great the misfortune viciissitudes may entail, the calamity will be defeat; he cure victory is the duty of Harmony of counsel and unit pose are the patriotic necessities occasion. Let it be remembrance discussion is disloyally: First deal man—Oh, excuse me, thought you were going to buy sake. Neither had heard nor understood a syllable of what the other was saying. Another story in which the national drink figures, runs as follows. It may be explained that sake is liked best when made hot: A toper, feeling "headachy" on the day after a spree, had fallen asleep with a towel wrapped around his head. Next he dreamed that he had found a casket of sake, which caused him so much joy that he licked his chops before tasting it. "How delicious!" he exclaimed. "It would be the proper thing to report the find at Police Headquarters; but a windfall like this sake—no! no! I cannot let it escape me. Well! shall I take a glass? No, there will be nothing lost by waiting until I warm it." He was just going to set it to warm, when the midday gun awakened him with a start, whereupon he ruefully exclaimed: "Oh! what a pity it is that I did not make haste to drink it cold." The story of an illiterate dog is told plaintively by one who was bitten: "You told me that when a dog barked at one he would leave off doing so if one wrote 'tiger' on the pain of one's hand and kept one's fist clenched. Well, I have had a rough time of it for listening to you." "Indeed, how so?" "A European dog came barking and flying at me as I was coming home late last night, so I stuck my clenched fist out toward him, and just look how I got bitten." "Oh! Then probably it was a dog who had not yet learned Japanese writing." In "The Pursuit of Fashion" we obtain a gimpse of the Japanese satirist. Two young men having come across each other in front of a haberdasher's shop, one of them waved his hand hurriedly and cried out: "I have much to say to you, but as urgent business calls me home at present I must put off the conversation for a few days, when I will come and see you at your house." The other, astonished at his friend's strange excitement, asked him what his urgent business might be; whether he meant to say, for instance, that any of his family had been taken ill. "Oh, no," replied the first young man, with a laugh; "I have just been getting at this shop a kind of kerchief which my wife commissioned me to buy for her. The reason why I said I couldn't stop and talk to you now is that it would be an awful thing for her to fall behind the fashion while I was loitering on the way." The story of the smells and jingles is one that has been enjoyed by many generations of Japanese. It is told as follows: An old fellow in Yeddo named Klichibel kept an eel shop, where he served up eels smoking hot to his customers. Kisaburo, his neighbor, wishing to save money, used to sit and eat his boiled rice next to the eel merchant's door and regale himself with the smell of the broiled eels. The merchant, finding this out, presents a bill for smelling the eels. Kisaburo, not to be owitted, brings out his cash box and jingles it, saying: "You have charged me for the smell of your eels and I have paid you with the sound of my money; we are now square." A somewhat similar story may be found in Rabelais, third book, thirty-seventh chapter; but the Japanese is undoubtedly the older version. Mysterious Rappings. The officers of the Maine who remained in Havana with the board of inquiry tell a weird story of the experience on board the Montgomery one night, the night after the ship arrived at Havana. The rappings had a metallic sound, just as would have resulted from a hammer or mallet tapping against the side of the vessel, and a small-sized panic prevailed among the men. The officers, too, felt somewhat mystified and alarmed, but in order to set a good example to the men they went below and turned in, and many of them the next morning expressed themselves as having been exceedingly gratified when they were able to get to sleep. The example set by the officers was not followed by the crew. They would have mutinied before they would have gone below that night. Instead of seeking their bunks these gallant seamen, who are willing and ready to face a visible foe, but dread to meet an invisible one, pilled one upon another in the small boats hanging from the davits of the ship, and there they spent the night. The rapping ceased about one o'clock in the morning, but the men continued to doze in the small boats until daylight, when they arose and busied themselves about the ship. Capt. Sigbee says he believes the noises, which the sailors considered supernatural, were, according to a Washington letter, caused by vibrations from the electrical machinery of the Spanish cruiser, which lay about six hundred yards distance. He cannot conceive of any other explanation. The rappings continued after every piece of machinery on the Montgomery was silent and every light extinguished.. But the night was still, and from the deck of the Montgomery they could hear the throbbing of the dynamos' on the Alphonso XIII, and when they ceased the rappings were no longer heard. Capt. Sigbee thinks the two ships accidentally took such positions as to establish a current between them, and that, although the phenomenon was never observed before or after, the conditions happened to be exactly right for it that night. The superstitious sailors conceived all sorts of theories, the most popular being that the spirits of their dead comrades who were still imprisoned in the wreck of the Maine were making signals for relief. Bucklen's Arnica Salve. The best salve in the world for cuts, bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, tetter, chapped hands, chillblains, corns, and all skin eruptions, and positively cures piles, or no pay required. It is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction or money refunded. Price 250 per box. For sale by P. A. Derge. THE PROCLAMATION. President McKinley Announces the Blockade of Cuba. WASHINGTON, April 22.—The following proclamation announcing the blockade of Cuban ports was issued today: By the President of the United States, a proclamation; Whereas, By a joint resolution passed by Congress and approved April 20, 1898, and communicated to the Government of Spain, it was demanded that said Government at once relinquish its authority and government in the Island of Cuba and withdraw its naval forces from Cuba and Cuban waters, and the President of the United States was directed and empowered to use entire land and naval forces of the United States and to call into actual service of the United States the militia of several States to such extent as might be necessary to carry said resolution into effect; and, Whereas, In carrying into effect such No man can foretell the real unexpected is the only thing happen. The war on whirl entering may involve the priests of the earth in sanguil flet. It may terminate months; it may continue years. We may be entering career of warfare which will patriotism and resources of it to the utmost tension of its However great the misfortune vicissitudes may entail, the calamity will be defeat; her cure victory is the duty of Harmony of counsel and unit pose are the patriotic necessities occasion. Let it be remembered dissension is disloyalty; cowardice and the withholding are at the suggestion of treason. BEET CROP CONDITION. From the Chino Champagne. Despite all the adverse conditions have had this spring, there is to be a partial beet crop since Since the wind of last week, the prospects have been more discouraging, as quite a large was injured or destroyed at Mr. Rupp of the agricultural part of the factory showed us his record of last Saturday, the report being up weekly. There had been up to Saturday on the Chino oil acres. Of this there were 2 on the lower black land, Wrupp says is looking very well plants are growing thrifty less something yet happens duce a crop. The balance mostly on sandy land is not value especially since the hot weather of last week. Of the acreage planted to present 411 acres of good soil Rupp considers that there thing over 1000 acres on which safe to plant but planting is completed next week. He have about 4500 acres planted season. Thinning is just commenced. The full reports from Anselmo Florence districts had not yet received yesterday, but such a dedication to the wind of last done great damage. With this tion of a few irrigated fields are expected from Anaheimence, where the crop was too safe, the wind last week bad it. A rough estimate place age at from 60 to 75 per cent. A small acreage is being here, and this week the land started pumps in two of the north of the factory group which the water is being used factory. It is hoped to conti this water, if not on beet flesh then on some kind of forage feed. FAREWELL TO THE FIELD A stirrup-cup to you, lads! Who march away to-day With ringing cheers we'll hide Our pride and love outweigh our God speed you on your way. It chokes the heart of manhood However the quarrel stand To see hard hard hold down to A gallant people wrong or right Defending native land. Wan watchers on the Cuban hite Hope on for help is nigh Flight on! till as ye seaward gain Our smoky nags of rescue rags From out the western sky. God speed and bring you back Unscathed your gallant linne And then we'll weight our Gold With laurels, and your deeds rye Midtoasts of Spanish wine — Frank H. Gassaway in S.F. Mysterious Rappings. The officers of the Maine who remained in Havana with the board of inquiry tell a weird story of the experience on board the Montgomery one night, the night after the ship arrived at Havana. The Montgomery was assigned to a berth very near to that which is now occupied by the sunken Maine, and the sailors, having viewed the wreck of the warship, were naturally wrought up. Darkness had scarcely settled over the harbor before the officers and men were startled by rappings against the side of the ship. Something was knocking there at the rate of 140 raps a minute, and the crew conceived the idea that some Spanish deviltry was at work below. Capt. Sigsbee was on board, and at his suggestion divers RHEUMATISM Is caused by Uric Acid and other impurities lingering in the blood, which have not been filtered out by the kidneys through the urine. The scat of the trouble is not in the skin or muscles. It's sick Kidneys. Electricity, liniments or plasters will not reach the case. But the disease can be CURED "I have been troubled with rheumatism for several years. Have been treated by physicians and used a great many remedies with but little relief. I was induced by your advertisement to try a box of Dr. Hobbs Sparagus Kidney Pills and before they were all gone I experienced great relief. I have since used three boxes and can safely say that I am completely cured. I can eat and sleep well, and walk and work as though I was never troubled by rheumatism, and I owe it all to your kidney pills." John J. Smith, 9 N. Oliver St., Los Angeles, Cal. Dr. Hobbs SPARAGUS Kidney Pills. Dr. Hobbs Pills for Sale in Anaheim by P. A. Derge, Pharmacist. House to Rent. One cottage to rent at a reasonable rate. Apply to Mrs. A. L. Lewis. A stirrup-cup to you, lads! Who march away to-day. With ringing cheers we'll hide. Our pride and love outweigh our God speed you on your way. It chokes the heart of manhood. Howe'er the quarrel stand. To see hard might hold down to a gallant people, wrong or right. Defending native land. Wan watchers on the Cuban high Hope on, for help is nigh. Fight on! till as ye seaward gaze Our smoky nags of rescue falls From out the western sky! God speed and bring you back. Unscathed your gallant line. And then we weigh our Gold With laurels, and your deeds reMid totoes of Spanish wine. Frank H. Gassaway in S. F. "How Do a woman asks this question! Thought and study she devotes to natural. A woman hates to this is growing day by day less charm attractive and yoyful to her eyes than in the days of counts. A woman may always retain and the vivacity and freshness of she will take the proper care of it. A tremendous percentage of life women is due to weakness and the distinctly feminine organ Pierce's Favorite Prescription ing remedy for all disorders of it. It allays inflammation, heals stops debilitating drains and soothes the nerves. It preserves all the charm of healthy youth sands of women have tested velous merits. "Favorite Prescription" is so spectable dealers in medicines where you are honestly treated, keeper who tries to give you advice for what you demand is not true honestly and you should take elsewhere. For nine years I have suffered of internal organs," writes Mrs. Marsh of Raleigh, Wake Co., N.C. (Box 19) troubled with bearing down painless gestion and female weakness and could not sleep at night. I was and had urinal trouble. The doctor that no medicine would reach my Pierce's Favorite Prescription, "Gcal Discovery" and "Pleasant Cured me." An everyday necessity in the good home medical work. Seventh stamps, to cover mailing of World's Dispensary Medical A Buffalo, N.Y., for a paper cover Dr. Pierce's Common Senate Visitor's Cloth binding 31 stamps. VOICE OF THE PRESS. THE DUTY OF THE HOUR. From the San Francisco Post. Out of confusion of counsel; out of the Babel of tongues; out of selfishness of rapacity and greed; out of multiplicity of words without wisdom which darkeneth counsel; out of rumors, false and true; out of a general nebulae of doubt and uncertainty, issues have reached definition, and war has materialized. It is hard to believe that the United States of America is about to engage in a war with Spain; but such is unquestionably the truth. The mind scarcely receives as an actuality the fact that we are about to engage in a death grapple with the ancient peninular monarchy; but in very truth war is upon us. We enter upon this conflict with a confidence undimmed by even the shadow of a doubt. We know that we shall be victorious. We feel the rising energy and awful determination of a great people and our confidence is the offspring of conscious power. Beyond the feebleness of diplomacy; far above the weaknesses of immature statesmanship; patriotic devotion and affectionate loyalty to our country demand that but one thought shall pervade the national purpose; that thought is one of ultimate victory. The one paramount duty of the hour is to sustain the hands of the President of the United States; to discountence dissension at home; to avoid divided counsels in and out of Congress; to bear the adversity which war will necessarily entail with patience; to look upon the sacrifice of life and the outpouring of national treasure with equanimity and hope. Diplomacy may have erred; statesmanship may have been feeble to impotency; but the errors which have brought us to the field of battle will become irretrievable disaster if we permit them to result in ultimate defeat. No man can foretell the result. The unexpected is the only thing certain to happen. The war upon which we are entering may involve the principal nations of the earth in sanguinary conflict. It may terminate in a few months; it may continue for many years. We may be entering upon a career of warfare which will test the patriotism and resources of the nation to the utmost tension of its strength. However great the misfortunes these vicissitudes may entail, the crowning calamity will be defeat; hence, to secure victory is the duty of the hour. Harmony of counsel and unity of purpose are the patriotic necessities of the occasion. Let it be remembered that dissension is disloyal; doubt is impossible to correct or even to check the disorders. "I had become greatly weakened," said Mrs. Herr, in telling her story to a reporter, "and the awful cramps and the frequency and nature of the fainting spells alarmed me beyond belief and shattered my system." "I tried electric treatment; it failed, and I did not know where to turn for help." "A friend told me how her mother had been greatly benefited by taking Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People. "I had but little hope for success; but decided to give these pills a trial." "I took two boxes and was much benefited. After taking six more boxes I was cured. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People had done what all the previous treatment had failed to do." "I am fully restored to health now, and do things that I had hardly dared attempt before." No discovery of modern times has proved such a boon to women as Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People. Acting directly on the blood and nerves, invigorating the body, regulating the functions, they restore the strength and health to the exhausted woman when every effort of the physician proves unavailing. These pills are recognized everywhere as a specific for diseases of the blood and nerves. For paralysis, locomotor ataxia, and other diseases long supposed incurable, they have proved their efficacy in thousands of cases. Truly they are one of the greatest blessings ever bestowed upon mankind. GRANNY'S "YARBS." She dosed the boy with calomel, Then gave him catnip tea, And yet he didn't feel quite well. He had the grip, you see. She gave him tanay, boneset, squilla, Rubbed tallow on his chest And fed him lots of blue mass pills, Which quickly did the rest. By this time John could not get up, And as he lay in bed She drenched him from a quassia oup Till he was nearly dead. It seemed impossible to correct or even to check the disorders. "I had become greatly weakened," said Mrs. Herr, in telling her story to a reporter, "and the awful cramps and the frequency and nature of the fainting spells alarmed me beyond belief and shattered my system." "I tried electric treatment; it failed, and I did not know where to turn for help." "A friend told me how her mother had been greatly benefited by taking Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People. "I had but little hope for success; but decided to give these pills a trial." "I took two boxes and was much benefited. After taking six more boxes I was cured. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People had done what all the previous treatment had failed to do." "I am fully restored to health now, and do things that I had hardly dared attempt before." No discovery of modern times has proved such a boon to women as Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People. Acting directly on the blood and nerves, invigorating the body, regulating the functions, they restore the strength and health to the exhausted woman when every effort of the physician proves unavailing. These pills are recognized everywhere as a specific for diseases of the blood and nerves. For paralysis, locomotor ataxia, and other diseases long supposed incurable, they have proved their efficacy in thousands of cases. Truly they are one of the greatest blessings ever bestowed upon mankind. DRY SEASONS That of 1863-1864 Was Disastrous. Life has been so easy in particularly in the genial this mid-southern coast, while rains attend the plants and the warm sun the hottest when an exceptional year entered we are unprepared for any disaster result. At this time, all have conceived this climatic year of 1897-98 exceptional, disastrous year—California has had seven occasions of dry years known both prior to and after this occupation, and these are impressed upon the memory sons were learned at ease there appeared compensation at the time was regarded as able disaster. Perhaps compensation for this there will be lessons taught but heed them. Following plea of the rancheros of this we have devoted this regular raising, advancing into dawn as did our predecessors, or to our utmost power, while entirely upon natural growth forward by fitful rains, gentian, but sometimes failing. We have heard of great bands of mares—being drastic sea to drown in order that he be saved for other stock great matanzas were eaten stock slaughtered in vassal realize all that was possible Therefore, it is seen that first disastrous year, after formica has prospered after greater wealth per capita comfort than the people State or country. But we done nor advanced half that Diversity of products is this agriculture, manufactures maid, transportation is this both, and a market is thus With proper study of these stress ability, energy and ship, every desired success accomplished. During our occupancy we have experienced four present—serious drought raises very disastrous. The rainfall in Southern California been faithfully kept during tory, but in San Francisco record since 1850, and Obispo since 1869. The ave at San Francisco is between inches, and that at San 21.04, or about one and one less than the fall at San Therefore with that dedu GRANNY'S "YARBS." She dosed the boy with calomel, Then gave him catnip tea, And yet he didn't feel quite well. He had the grip, you see. She gave him tany, homeest, squilla, Rubbed tallow on his chest And fed him lots of blue mass pills, Which quickly did the rest. By this time John could not get up, And as he lay in bed She drenched him from a quassia outp Till he was nearly dead. And when at last the doctor came And fetched poor Johnny round Folks said," Twas granny, all the same, Kept him above the ground." J. L. Heaton in "Quilting Bee." "THANK YOU." It is the Small Courtesies That Make Life Worth Living. "On every hand one hears of the neglect to say 'Thank you,'" writes Edward W. Bok on "The Saying of Thank You," in The Ladies Home Journal. "I wonder sometimes if some people really know how little of what comes to them is their due and right and how much of what comes to them is by favor and courtesy. The vast majority of things which come to us come by pure favor, by courtesy. And we should recognize this. No act of kindness, however slight, should go unnoticed. A 'Thank you' is a simple thing to say. It requires but a few moments to write it, but it often means much. It means everything sometimes to the person receiving it. It means a renewed faith in human nature in some cases. A word of thanks is never lost, never wasted. If it sometimes seems to be lost upon the person to whom it is directed, its expression has not been lost upon some one else who has heard it. It is certainly not lost upon ourselves. The most of us are quick enough to thank some one who does us great service. But the small courtesy, just as great as the large service in reality, we overlook. It doesn't seem worth while to give thanks for small things. And yet what would we be today and where would some of us be but for the small courtesies of life? They are what make life worth living. "It is all very well to have the last Thursday of each November set apart as a day of Thanksgiving, but it would be far better if a great many of us carried the spirit of the day into all the other days. Perhaps if we did so we might have more mercies to be thankful for on Thanksgiving day. Do not let the spirit of thanks stop with nightfall on Thanksgiving day. Let us extend it to all the other days of the year, to the people whose lives touch ours. When we receive a favor at the hands of any one, no matter how small it may be, let us say the words, 'Thank you.' If they should be written, let us write them. Let us not delay them, but take advantage of the instant when our heart is touched. Let there be more 'Thank you' said by everybody—thousands of them. And the world will be a better, brighter and happier place to live in because of them." Music and Health. Music, if we are to believe ancient historians, has produced some very extraordinary effects. The fierceness of Achilles was allayed by playing on the army pursuits. His poems and romances are now well known for their artistic excellence. Meteors. Some time ago people on the Ramsgate cliffs, England, saw what was thought to be two rockets fired by a ship in distress on the Goodwins. The lifeboat went to the rescue and ascertained from the lightship men that the lights observed from the shore were not rockets, but falling meteors. Married men who are obliged to get up in the middle of the night with the baby should study the value of the bicycle as a means of indoor travel. Roxbury Gazette. All birds when perched on trees or bushes serve as weathercocks, as they invariably arrange themselves with their heads to the wind. LIGHTNING BUGS. Taken For the Enemy's Fire, They Led to a Pitched Battle. G. H. Bell, a prominent merchant of Liberty, Neb., told an interesting story of how a swarm of lightning bugs caused a shot and shell engagement between two armies during the late war. "I was a member of the Twenty-fifth Ohio regiment," said Mr Bell, "and Mr G.W.Harris, whom I met on my visit here, was with the Fifty-fifth Tennessee. I just discovered that we fought each other one night in May, 1864, at New Hope Church, Ga., Lightning bugs in Georgia are more plantiful than watermelons in August by several millions to the square mile, and on more than one occasion they gave us trouble. "About 2 o'clock in the morning as the two armies lay in their respective works, 400 yards apart a nest of bugs hove in sight, as we afterward learned. The armies were too close for pickets. Suddenly there was a flash of light. Each side thought the other had opened fire in some mysterious way, and we began to shoot. We blazed away at one another for an hour or more. Bedam reigned with shot and shell. The timber between the lines was all killed if belted with an ax. Fortunately no lives were lost. "It was only the other day that I learned the extent of the damage caused by that swarm of lightning bugs. I asked Harris how long his side was firing, and he said until their ammunition gave out. We were in the same fix, and if it hadn't been for our poverty in this respect that engagement would have been terribly fatal." — St. Louis Republic. MAKING READY FOR A RUN. A Locomotive Is Almost as Carefully Groomed as a Race Horse. "Running the Fast Express" is the title of an article by George Ethelbert Walsh in St. Nicholas. Mr. Walsh says: The engineer comes down to his post of duty nearly an hour before his train is scheduled to leave. All night long in the roundhouse the engine has been carefully watched; a wiper has spent the whole night rubbing down the panting, snorting iron horse until every rod and cylinder shines like gold or silver; the banked fire has been kept going, so that a little steam has been always in the boxes, and before he left at night both, transportation is too hard with proper study of these abilities ability, energy and ship, every desired success accomplished. During our occupancy we have experienced four of the present—serious drought raisers very disastrous. The rainfall in Southern California been faithfully kept during tory, but in San Francisco record since 1850, and Odispo since 1869. The rave at San Francisco is between inches, and that at San Francisco 21.04, or about one and one less than the fall at San Francisco Therefore with that deduce estimate the fall at San Luis Obispo for that date the figures of San Francisco seasons of drought have been 1863-64, 1876-77, 1897-98. For south of Santa Maria there is 1862-63 may be classed as astros drought, as in the Angeles a great deal of storms in the summer and fall on record of rainfall at 1850-51 was 7.10 inches; in inches. The record at San for the dry year of 1876 inches and for the present inches, and at San Ernie inches. Therefore we must as one of the least rainfall of California for this season shows a severe Angles of 5.26 inches; winter season of 1863-64 there was. The result of the drought 1864, extending two seasons definition of Spanish cattle California, consequently American stock; an erer and subdivision of theirish ranchos.-San Luis Obispo I was reading an adventurer Chamberlain's Colic, Diarrhoea Remedy in this Enterprise recently, which write this. I can truthfully used any remedy equal to diarrhoea. I have used more than one or two worst case with my dren.-W.A.Stroud,PoMd. For sale by P.A.D. Sugar-Beet Drink For sale. Apply to Jo Placentia Stock and sheep men wished to get their cattle and Central California as soon as inclement with the delisting the inspectors at Stockton and Fresno to authorize their shipment braska, Kansas, Iowa and There are now in central California head of cattle and 100,000 must be immediately shipped pasturage to prevent them Most of the stockmen are nearly all of the cattle and be sent east within three months. No deception practiced ASK YOUR DRIVE for a generous 10 CENT TRIAL ELY'S CREAM BALL CURES HEAD ATATINO A stirrup-cup to you, lads! Who march away to-day. With ringing cheers we'll hide our tears, Our pride and love outweigh our fears. God speed you on your way. It chokes the heart of manhood, Howe'er the quarrel stand, To see hard might hold down to smite A gallant people, wrong or right, Defending native land. Wan watchers on the Cuban hills Hope on, for help nigh. Fight on! till as ye seaward gaze Our smoky flags of rescue rage From out the western sky! God speed and bring you back, lads. Unscathed your gallant line. And then we'll weight our Golden Gate With laurels, and your deeds relate Mid toasts of Spanish wine. Frank H. Gassaway in S. F. Examiner. "How Do I Look?" How frequently a woman asks this question! How much thought and study she devotes to it! It is natural. A woman hates to think that she is growing day by day less charming and attractive and youthful to her husband's eyes than in the days of courtship. A woman may always retain her charms and the vivacity and freshness of youth if she will take the proper care of her health. A tremendous percentage of ill-health in women is due to weakness and disease of the distinctly feminine organism. Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is an unfailing remedy for all disorders of this nature. It allows inflammation, heals ulceration, stops debilitating drains and soothes and tones the nerves. It preserves in a woman all the charm of healthy youth. Thousands of women have testified to its marvelous merits. "Favorite Prescription" is sold by all respectable dealers in medicines. Deal only where you are honestly treated. Any storekeeper who tries to give you a substitute for what you demand is not treating you honestly and you should take your trade elsewhere. "For nine years I have suffered with falling of internal organs," writes Mrs. Mary Williams, of Raleigh, Wake Co., N.C. (Box 196). "I was troubled with bearing down pains. I had indulged and female weakness and nervousness. I could not sleep at night. I was constipated and had urinal trouble. The doctor here said that no medicine would reach my disease. Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription, 'Golden Medical Discovery' and 'Pleasant 'Pellets' have cured me." An everyday necessity in the home. A good medical work. Send 21 one-cent stamps, to cover mailing only, to the World's Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N.Y., for a paper covered copy of Dr. Pierce's Common Seed Medical Advisor. A cloth binding 31 stamps. Music and Health. Music, if we are so believe ancient historians, has produced some very extraordinary effects. The fierceness of Achilles was allayed by playing on the harp; Damon, with the same instrument, quieted wild and drunken youths, and Asclepiades in a similar manner brought back seditions multitudes to temper and reason. The corybantes and effeminate priests of Cybele were incited by music to cut their own flesh. Pindar addressed his harp thus: "Thou quenchest the raging thunder!" Music is also reported to have been efficacious in removing dangerous diseases. Mirandola observes, in explanation of its being appropriated to such an end, that music moves the spirits to act upon the soul as medicine does the soul by the body. Theophrastus, in his essay on "Enthusiasm," reports many cures upon this principle. The Thebans used the pipe for the cure of many disorders, and Zenocrates is said to have cured several madmen. The bite of the tarantula is said to have been cured by music, and the Phrygian pipe was recommended by many of the ancient fathers as an antidote to soitation. We could enumerate many other instances of the estimation, amounting, as it would seem, to palpable superstition, in which music was held among the ancients, but the above may be considered sufficient—New York Ledger. A Democratic King. The king of Sweden arranges his time to the best advantage. After an early breakfast with the queen he gives audience to public officials and Swedish Norwegian and also foreign ministers as well as reviewing and inspecting troops, and so forth. Friday is occupied by a council meeting, and Tuesday morning is given to the public. As "father of his people," he sees even the poorest peasant and most unknown being in his kingdom who wishes to speak with him and gives audience alone, no third person being present. The evenings and indeed the best part of the night King Oscar gives up to his liter A Long Sentence. Williston Palmer is the name of a white man against whom there are sentences of 209 years in the Georgia penitentiary. Palmer was originally sent up for 11 years from south Georgia for burglary. Shortly afterward, while working in the mines of Dade county, he attempted, with other convicts, to escape, and in the melee that followed he killed two of the guards. He was tried some time ago for the killing of the first guard and got 99 years. He was then put on trial for the killing of the other man and got 99 years more—Exchange. Comparative. A. —My wife says she saw the lights all burning in your house as she came home from the ball at 8 o'clock in the morning. She thought it a little strange. B. —A little strange? It was a little stranger—London Tit-Bits. No deception practiced. No $100 Reward. ASK YOUR DRUG for a generous 10 CENT TRIA ELY'S CREAM BALL COLD IN HEAT ROSE HAYHEYNEW YORK ELY'S CREAM BALL COLD IN HEAT ROSE HAYHEYNEW YORK Pacific Coast Steamers Harford April 15, 5:9, 13, 17, 21, 11, 15, 19, 23, 27, 31; June 4 and day thereafter. Leave Port 6 a.m., and Redondo at 11 Diego, via Newport, April 3, 7, May 1, 5, 9, 13, 17, 21, 25; June fourth day thereafter. The stop at Newport. Cars do dondo leave Santa Fe depot from Redondo Ry depot at connect via Port Los Angeles R. depot at 1:30 p.m. The serve right to change, with notice, steamers sailing date. W. PAURIS, Agt., 124 W. S. Angeles, GOODALL, PERKIN Agts., S.F. DRY SEASONS. That of 1863-1864 Was the Most Disastrous. Life has been so easy in California, particularly in the genial climate of this mid-southern coast, where plentiful rains attend the planting season, and the warm sun the harvest, that when an exceptional year is encountered we are unprepared for it and dismay and disaster result. At this time, all have concluded that this climatic year of 1897-98 is that exceptional, disastrous year—a dry year. California has had several experiences of dry years known in history, both prior to and after the American occupation, and these are most vividly impressed upon the memory. But lessons were learned at each one, and there appeared compensation for what at the time was regarded as an irreparable disaster. Perhaps there will be compensation for this. Certainly there will be lessons taught if we will but heed them. Following the example of the rancheros of the olden time, we have devoted this region to stockraising, advancing into dairying, but, as did our predecessors, over-stocking to our utmost power, while depending entirely upon natural grasses brought forward by fitful rains, generally abundant, but sometimes failing, as now. We have heard of great manadas—bands of mares—being driven into the sea to drown in order that the forage be saved for other stock. At times great matanzas were established and stock slaughtered in vast numbers to realize all that was possible from them. Therefore, it is seen that this is not the first disastrous year, and that California has prospered after all to a greater wealth per capita, and greater comfort than the people of any other State or country. But we have not done nor advanced half that we should. Diversity of products is the science of agriculture, manufactures is its handmaid, transportation is the servant of both, and a market is the aim of all. With proper study of these, with business ability, energy and statesmanship, every desired success could be accomplished. During our occupancy of California we have experienced four—including the present—serious droughts; to stock raisers very disastrous. The record of rainfall in Southern California has not been faithfully kept during all the history, but in San Francisco we have the record since 1850, and in San Luis Obispo since 1869. The average rainfall at San Francisco is between 22 and 23 inches, and that at San Luis Obispo 21.04, or about one and one-third inches less than the fall at San Francisco. "IRONING MADE EASY" ELASTIC STARCH A GREAT INVENTION REQUIRES NO COOKING MAKES COLLARS AND CUFFS STIFF AND NICE AS WHEN FIRST BOUGHT NEW PREPARED FOR LAUNDRY PURPOSES ONLY ONE POUND OF THIS STARCH WILL GO AS FAR AS A POUND AND A HALF OF ANY OTHER STARCH. MANUFACTURED ONLY BY THE J.C.HUBINGER BROS.CO KEOKUK, IOWA. NEW HAVEN, CONN. COPYRIGHTED This starch is prepared on scientific principles by men who have had years of practical experience in fancy laundering. It restores old linen and summer dresses to their natural whiteness and imparts a beautiful and lasting finish. It is the only starch manufactured that is perfectly harmless, containing neither arsenic, alum or any other substance injurious to linen and can be used even for a baby powder. For sale by all wholesale and retail grocers. A. FREISE, ...KEEPS THE FINEST OF... Wines, Liquors And Cigars. San Diego Beer T. J. F. BOEGE. Wholesale and Retail Dealer in Choice Wines, Liquors & Cigars Keeps always on hand a complete stock of the Finest Wines and Liquors. By the Keg, Oallon During our occupancy of California we have experienced four—including the present—serious droughts; to stock raisers very disastrous. The record of rainfall in Southern California has not been faithfully kept during all the history, but in San Francisco we have the record since 1850, and in San Luis Obispo since 1869. The average rainfall at San Francisco is between 22 and 23 inches, and that at San Luis Obispo 21.04, or about one and one-third inches less than the fall at San Francisco. Therefore with that deduction we may estimate the fall at San Luis Obispo by the figures of San Francisco. The seasons of drought have been 1850-51, 1863-64, 1876-77, 1897-98. For the country south of Santa Maria the seasons of 1862-63 may be classed as one of disastrous drought, as in the region of Los Angeles a great deal of stock perished in the summer and fall of 1863. The record of rainfall at San Francisco in 1850-51 was 7.10 inches, in 1863-64, 8.50 inches. The record at San Luis Obispo for the dry year of 1876-77 was 8.15 inches and for the present season 6.06 inches, and at San Francisco, 7.75 inches. Therefore we must class this as one of the least rainfall in the history of California for this section. The present season shows a rainfall at Los Angeles of 5.26 inches, while in the season of 1863-64 there was not a trace. The result of the drought in 1863 and 1864, extending two seasons, was the extinction of Spanish cattle in Southern California, consequently the substitution of American stock; also the transfer and subdivision of the great Spanish ranchos.—San Luis Obispo Breeze. I was reading an advertisement of Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy in the Worcester Enterprise recently, which leads me to write this. I can truthfully say, I never used any remedy equal to it for colic and diarrhoea. I have never had to use more than one or two doses to cure the worst case with myself and children.—W. A. STROUD, Popomoke City, Md. For sale by P. A. Derge. Sugar-Beet Drill. For sale. Apply to John Wagner, Placentia f17-tf Stock and sheep men who are anxious to get their cattle and sheep out of Central California as soon as possible are incensed with the delay in instructing the inspectors at Sacramento, Stockton and Fresno to proceed with the inspection of the animals and authorize their shipment to Utah, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa and Wyoming. There are now in central and Southern California, the stockmen say, 90,000 head of cattle and 100,000 sheep that must be immediately shipped to good pasturage to prevent their starvation. Most of the stockmen are agreed that nearly all of the cattle and sheep must be sent east within the next two months. A. FREISE, ...KEEPS THE FINEST OF... Wines, Liquors And Cigars. San Diego Beer ON DRAUGHT. Koll Block, Los Angeles Street. Roman Wisser Favorite Saloon. Finest of Wines, Liquors & Cigars Pool & Billiard Tables Schindler's Building, Center St., Anaheim San Diego Beer ON DRAUGHT. THE SAN DIEGO BREWING COMPANY Makers of the Famous Prima and Pilsener Lager Beer We have resolved that no beer will be offered for sale from our Brewery less than three months old. For Sale at R. Wisser's, Aug. Freise's and T. J. F. Boege, Anaheim. F. BACKS, UNDERTAKER FURNITURE. Wall Paper, Cornices, Window Shades, Picture Frames, Upholstery Goods, Paints, Oils and Glass Sewing Machine Supplies, Etc. Corner Los Angeles and Chartres Sts. T. J. F. BOEGE. Wholesale and Retail Dealer In Choice Wines, Liquors & Cigars Keeps always on hand a complete stock of the Finest Wines and Liquors. By the Keg, Oallon or Bottle. Orders by mail promptly attended to. Goods delivered free of charge. OPPOSITE S. P. DEPOT. D. Lieb's Saloon. Dominick Lieb, Proprietor. BEST BRANDS OF ALL KINDS OF Wines, Liquors & Cigars! KEPT ON HAND. BEER ON TAP! Kroeger's Block.-Anaheim. FRITZ RUHMANN'S Germania Halle. BACKS' NEW BUILDING LOS ANGELES STREET. KEEPES CONSTANTLY ON HAND A LARGE AND complete stock of fresh liquors, wines and Cigars. Cold beer always on draught. FRED. PRESSEL Blacksmithing AND.... Wagon - Making. Horse-Shoeing a Specialty. AGENT FOR... TULOL, (HOOFCOOL STUFFING.) Superior to anything for Stuffing horses' feet. It keeps the frog soft and the hoof tough and draws fever from the foot. Guaranteed to prevent corn, fever in feet, brittle hoof, etc. 10 pound can,$125. Try it. Shop on Center Street, opposite Metropolitan Stock. News and Opinions OF National Importance THE SUN Alone CONTAINS BOTH. Daily, by mail,$6 a year Daily & Sunday, by mail,$8 a year The Sunday Sun No deception practiced. No $100 Reward. ASK YOUR DRUGGIST for a generous 10 CENT TRIAL SIZE. ELY'S CREAM BALM contains no cocaine, mercury nor any other injurious drug. It opens and cleanses the Nasal Passages. Allays Pain and Inflammation. Heals and Protects the Membrane. Restores the Senses of Taste and Smell. Is quickly absorbed. Gives Relief at once. 50 cts. at Druggists or by mail; Trial Size 10 cts. at Druggists or by mail. ELY BROTHERS, 56 Warren Street, New York. Pacific Coast Steamship Co. The Company's elegant Steamers SANTA ROSA and POMONA leave Redondo at 11 a.m. and Port Los Angeles at 2:30 p.m. for San Francisco via Santa Barbara and Port Harford April 1, 5, 9, 13, 17, 21, 25, 29; May 3, 7, 11, 15, 19, 23, 27, 31; June 4 and every fourth day thereafter. Leave Port Los Angeles at 6 a.m., and Redondo at 11 a.m. for San Diego, via Newport. April 3, 7, 11, 15, 19, 23, 27; May 1, 5, 9, 13, 17, 21, 25, 29; June 2 and every fourth day thereafter. The Santa Rosa will not stop at Newport. Cars connect via Redondo leave Santa Fe depot at 10 a.m., or from Redondo Ry. depot at 9:30 a.m.; Cars connect via Port Los Angeles leave S. P. R. depot at 1:35 p.m. for steamers north bound. The steamers COOS BAY and HOMER leave San Pedro and East San Pedro for San Francisco via Ventura, Carpenteria, Santa Barbara, Gaviota, Port Harford, Cyucos, San Simeon, Monterey and Santa Cruz at 8:30 p.m. April 14, 18, 22, 26, 30; May 4, 8, 12, 16, 20, 24, 28; June 1 and every fourth day thereafter. Cars connect with steamers via San Pedro leave S. P. R. (Arcade depot) at 8:00 p.m. and Terminal Ry. depot at 8:10 p.m. The company reserves right to change, without previous notice, steamers, sailing dates and hours of sailing. W. PABRIS, Agt., 124 W. Second St., Los Angeles. GOODALL PERKINS & Co., Gen. Agts., S.F. F. BACKS, UNDERTAKER And Dealer in FURNITURE. - Wall Paper, Cornices, Window Shades, Picture Frames, Upholstery Goods, Paints, Oils and Glass Sewing Machine Supplies, Etc. Corner Los Angeles and Chartres Sts. ONLY FIRST-CLASS RESTAURANT! - IN TOWNIn Connection with Boston Bakery. S. KISTLER, PROPRIETOR. F. CRIST Merchant Tailor LATEST STOCK OF Spring and Summer Suits,$18 up. Pants,$5 up. Goods of Latest Styles. Call and see my stock Center Street near Opera-house. JOSEPH BACKS, DEALER IN FURNITURE Repairing Done. Funeral Director. Store in Backs Building (next to irrigation district office), Los Angeles street. News and Opinions OF National Importance THE SUN Alone CONTAINS BOTH. Daily, by mail,- $6 a year Daily & Sunday, by mail,$8 a year The Sunday Sun is the greatest Sunday Newspaper in the world. Price $5c.a copy. By mail,$2 a year Address THE SUN, New York. H. A. McWilliams. Contractor AND Builder. City Stables, A. L. LEWIS & CO.. PROP8 Center St., opp. Kroeger Block BICYCLES FOR SALE OR RENT. Single and Double Teams GO TO THE Oak Barber Shop FOR A FIRST-CLASS SHAVE OR HAIR CUT. TWO DOORS WEST OF BANK. HUSMANN BROS GRAY BROTHERS & WARD Cement Contractors Shillinger Patent. Contracts for RESERVOIRS, IRRIGATION DITCHES, Cellar and Stable Floors. Sidewalks, Etc. OFFICES—No. 125 N. Broadway, Los Angeles, Cal. Telephone—238. No. 316 Montgomery St., San Francisco, Cal.