anaheim-gazette 1879-09-12

ANAHEIM GAZETTE. RICHARD MELROSE. . . Editor and Proprietor. PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY. The Lightning-rod Man. A melaneboly farmer box, With his old gun crammed full of shot, Was sitting by his melon lot. Three weeks he had his vigil kept, Tasted no food or even slept, Yet all the time the bad boys crept Among his melons, where they ate Eough to kill ten men, but fate Decrees that small boys stuffed di-late. This maddened the farmer nigh insane, Thus watched and prayed, but all in vain, The boys preved, too, and none were slain. Just at this awful time there trod Up to the farmer with a nod, An agent for a lightning-rod. "Good-morning, sir," he sweetly spake, "My lightning-rod you'd better take; They are the beat; just let me make—" "Oh, spare your roda," the farmer said, And aimed the gun straight at his head, He shot the agent—not quite dead. The bullets flattened at his feet, He picked one up, and, smiling sweet, Presented it; he ne'er was beat. "Now, farmer!" said he, oh, so sleek, "Just buy a rod; then you may wreak Your vengeance on the other cheek!" The New Soprano. BY PEM SHIRLEY. "Try that chair by the fire, Steve, and comfort your soles on the mantel while I unearth a pair of slippers for you. I've a small mound of them in the closet, built up of the individual gifts of 'grateful pupils.'" "A cruel waste! You should be a centipede, Hal, instead of that forlorn biped, a bachelor. By the way, speaking of single-blessedness, how it must harrow you, my boy, to witness diurnally the bliss of the bride and bride-groom who sit opposite you here at the table! Favor them with Lamb's 'Complaint against married People,' will still echoed with the benediction, though heretofore he had invariably waited for me after service in the vestibule. I happened just then to be congratulating the new soprano on being in such capital voice that morning, and as the tenor stepped across to shake hands with Timothy, I went on talking with her till she left. When I turned the singers were gone, and there stood my poor David, frowning at a muscest so savagely that I fancied he must be suffering from a headache, and expressed my sympathy. ""Headache? I haven't a headache," he growled, stalking down-stairs in advance. "I thought he needn't have felt so enraged if he hadn't, and walked on in dumb dignity. Presently he observed testily that when he honored me with a call in my citadel, it might be polite in me to introduce him to my friends. ""Why," said I, "I thought you knew the members of the choir—all, at least, but the soprano." ""Well, she's somebody, I suppose." "I beg your pardon, Timothy," I cried, amazed. "It didn't occur to me you'd care to become acquainted with her. I didn't present you because I fancied you'd consider the introduction a bore." ""You're sure of that, Hal?" he asked, with a sort of fierce eagerness. "You haven't any personal motive for not wishing to extend Miss Sparrow's circle of gentlemen friends?" "I burst out laughing at the absurdity of the idea. It was but a week remember, since my own introduction to the young lady. ""Timothy drew a long breath, and straightway spent it in questions concerning her:— Who was her father? Who was her mother? Had she a sister? Had she a brother? "I told him all I knew. Her father lived on State street; her mother lived in heaven; sisters she had none, but of little brothers something less than a score, who dogged her steps as persistently as the bass follows the air. To escort her home from rehearsal was to lead the van of an infant squadron,a running accompaniment which the night before had disturbed my mental harmony. ""For, though I did not feel it necessary to enlarge on this point to Timeo pebbles from a sling. isn't customary for a man himself on so short an end but I'm a plain, straightforward in earnest." ""Fancy the little soprane. I seem now to blue eyes opening each and wider. ""Till now I never whom I wanted to meet went on, 'and I am fine. When at middle age love first time to men of my kind is no milk-and-water Sparrow. I feel that life to make you happy my wife?" ""You don't mean to upon the poor girl in way? I broke in, cuttierative. ""He looked aggried puzzled. What had Hadn't he acted the pay in avowing his feelings more honorable to tell openly than it would be to steal her affections wilt." ""But how did Mr. it? ""That's what troubled friend. 'She and would have run out put my hand on the her to hear me through I would not press her answer, but she only declared I had no things to her; she woof As if I should object Indeed, I should have myself on the subject not Dr. Pillsbury said see strangers. I tried Miss Sparrow. I imme me how I had vexed away from me and room. I cannot unduct. I might have bright young girl coo-fossil such as I, but fellow, Hal, that she by my love. I wound footed over burning have wounded her arm." ""And so on, and crew. I ventured about that he had merely been in his wooing, but incredulously, and f mystified as he came." "Try chair by the fire, Steve, and comfort your soles on the mantel while I unearth a pair of slippers for you. I've a small mound of them in the closet, built up of the individual gifts of 'grateful pupils.'" "A cruel waste! You should be a centipede, Hal, instead of that forlorn biped, a bachelor. By the way, speaking of single-blessedness, how it must harrow you, my boy, to witness diurnally the bliss of the bride and bridegroom who sit opposite you here at the table! Favor them with Lamb's 'Complaint against married People,' will you? and send me the bill." "Bride and bridegroom? Well, that is rich! Have a cigar, deluded youth, while I enlighten you concerning this mellifluous couple. Did you mark the gentleman particularly? You can't take him in at a glance; there's too much of him, Goodwin, his name is—Timothy Goodwin: 'Good Timothy' his friends dub him, and the title applies. "He sat next to me at the table when I first came to Mrs. Tewksbury's, five years ago, and from the outset he showed a fatherly interest in me—an interest which this quaking stripling of an organist appreciated, I can assure you. Being one of the pillars of St. Luke's—the church I play at, you remember—and an esteemed musical critic withal, his hearty approval of me as a performer was an immense advantage to me. "You'd hardly suppose such a quiet, imperturbable earthling as he looks to be would rhapsodize over music, would you? It was a surprise to me to find how deeply it moved him. He soon fell into the habit of dropping into my room after tea when he heard me at the piano; and many a time I've caught the great, strong fellow mopping his eyes surreptiously over affecting passages. "As I came to know him intimately, and to feel what a staunch, tender-hearted, domestic sort of an individual he was, I began to wonder he had never married. One day I asked him in a joking way how a rich man like himself could reconcile it with his conscience to remain a bachelor in America, where there was such a preponderance of unmarried ladies to be supported. He made a wry face, and said he had assumed the maintenance of two spinster step-cousins: wasn't that his part? "Or, if you think it isn't, Hal, I'll tell you what I'll do," he added laughing. "You marry yourself, and I'll support your wife. Won't that be fair? "Hardly fair for the lady," I re marked, adding that I should pity the luckless unknown who should fail to secure him as her Benedict. The idea seemed to amuse him immensely. "You kindly insinuate that it would be a benevolence in me to take a wife," said he, with a twinkle in his eye. Now, I protest I'm not conceited enough to think that. On the contrary, if a woman should consent to give herself to me, I should consider the benevolence all on her side. Can't say I crave such a charity just at present, though," he added, in comic haste, stretching his long arms as if to waive the bequest. "The fact is, Hal, I've try chair by the fire, Steve, and comfort your soles on the mantel while I unearth a pair of slippers for you. I've a small mound of them in the closet, built up of the individual gifts of 'grateful pupils.'" "A cruel waste! You should be a centipede, Hal, instead of that forlorn biped, a bachelor. By the way, speaking of single-blessedness, how it must harrow you, my boy, to witness diurnally the bliss of the bride and bridegroom who sit opposite you here at the table! Favor them with Lamb's 'Complaint against married People,' will you? and send me the bill." "Bride and bridegroom? Well, that is rich! Have a cigar, deluded youth, while I enlighten you concerning this mellifluous couple. Did you mark the gentleman particularly? You can't take him in at a glance; there's too much of him, Goodwin, his name is—Timothy Goodwin: 'Good Timothy' his friends dub him, and the title applies. "He sat next to me at the table when I first came to Mrs. Tewksbury's, five years ago, and from the outset he showed a fatherly interest in me—an interest which this quaking stripling of an organist appreciated, I can assure you. Being one of the pillars of St. Luke's—the church I play at, you remember—and an esteemed musical critic withal, his hearty approval of me as a performer was an immense advantage to me. "You'd hardly suppose such a quiet, imperturbable earthling as he looks to be would rhapsodize over music, would you? It was a surprise to me to find how deeply it moved him. He soon fell into the habit of dropping into my room after tea when he heard me at the piano; and many a time I've caught the great, strong fellow mopping his eyes surreptiously over affecting passages. "As I came to know him intimately, and to feel what a staunch, tender-hearted, domestic sort of an individual he was, I began to wonder he had never married. One day I asked him in a joking way how a rich man like himself could reconcile it with his conscience to remain a bachelor in America, where there was such a preponderance of unmarried ladies to be supported. He made a wry face, and said he had assumed the maintenance of two spinster step-cousins: wasn't that his part? "Or, if you think it isn't, Hal, I'll tell you what I'll do," he added laughing. "You marry yourself, and I'll support your wife. Won't that be fair? "Hardly fair for the lady," I re marked, adding that I should pity the luckless unknown who should fail to secure him as her Benedict. The idea seemed to amuse him immensely. "You kindly insinuate that it would be a benevolence in me to take a wife," said he, with a twinkle in his eye. Now, I protest I'm not conceited enough to think that. On the contrary, if a woman should consent to give her self to me, I should consider the benevolence all on her side. Can't say I crave such a charity just at present, though," he added, in comic haste, stretching his long arms as if to waive the bequest. "The fact is, Hal, I've try chair by the fire, Steve, and comfort your soles on the mantel while I unearth a pair of slippers for you. I've a small mound of them in the closet, built up of the individual gifts of 'grateful pupils.'" "A cruel waste! You should be a centipede, Hal, instead of that forlorn biped, a bachelor. By the way, speaking of single-blessedness, how it must harrow you, my boy, to witness diurnally the bliss of the bride and bridegroom who sit opposite you here at the table! Favor them with Lamb's 'Complaint against married People,' will you? and send me the bill." "Bride and bridegroom? Well, that is rich! Have a cigar, deluded youth, while I enlighten you concerning this mellifluous couple. Did you mark the gentleman particularly? You can't take him in at a glance; there's too much of him, Goodwin, his name is—Timothy Goodwin: 'Good Timothy' his friends dub him, and the title applies. "He sat next to me at the table when I first came to Mrs. Tewksbury's, five years ago, and from the outset he showed a fatherly interest in me—an interest which this quaking stripling of an organist appreciated, I can assure you. Being one of the pillars of St. Luke's—the church I play at, you remember—and an esteemed musical critic withal, his hearty approval of me as a performer was an immense advantage to me. "You'd hardly suppose such a quiet, imperturbable earthling as he looks to be would rhapsodize over music，would you? It was a surprise to me to find how deeply it moved him. He soon fell into the habit of dropping into my room after tea when he heard me at the piano; and many a time I've caught the great，strong fellow mopping his eyes surreptiously over affecting passages. "As I came to know him intimately，and to feel what a staunch，tender-hearted，domestic sort of an individual he was，I began to wonder he had never married. One day I asked him in a joking way how a rich man like himself could reconcile it with his conscience to remain a bachelor in America，where there was such a preponderance of unmarried ladies to be supported。He made a wry face，and said he had assumed the maintenance of two spinster step-cousins: wasn't that his part? "Or，if you think it isn't，Hal，I'll tell you what I'll do," he added laughing. "You marry yourself，and I'll support your wife。Won't that be fair?” "Hardly fair for the lady，” I re marked，adding that I should pity the luckless unknown who should fail to secure him as her Benedict。The idea seemed to amuse him immensely. "You kindly insinuate that it would be a benevolence in me to take a wife，” said he，with a twinkle in his eye. Now，I protest I'm not conceited enough to think that。On the contrary，if a woman should consent to give her self to me，I should consider the benevolence all on her side。Can't say I crave such a charity just at present，though，” he added，in comic haste，stretching his long arms as if to waive the bequest. "The fact is，Hal，I've try chair by the fire，Steve，and comfort your soles on the mantel while I unearth a pair of slippers for you。I've a small mound of them in the closet，built up of the individual gifts of 'grateful pupils.'" "I told him all I knew。Her father lived on State street；her mother lived on heaven；sisters she had none，但 of little brothers something less than a score，who dogged her steps as persistently as the bass follows the air。To escort her home from rehearsal was to lead the vanof an infant squadron,a running accompaniment which the night before had disturbed my mental harmony. "ItFor，though I did not feel it necessary to enlarge on this point To Timothy，I had conceived a prodigious fancy myself for the sweet little soprano,and should have been glad to learn more of ner and less of her fraternal blessings.I afterward discovered why she surrounded herself with these as with a garment。它 was from pure compassion for her father。他 was a nervous invalid，和 the proximity of those boys distracted him。Of course it did；I could enter into the old gentleman's feelings perfectly。It distracted me too。Don't smile，my dear fellow.The prancing young ubiquities were well enough in their way，I'll admit.I only objected to having them in mine. ""All that week my dear Timothy seemed strangely pre-occupied and erratic，capping the climax Saturday evening by fidgeting into my room in his next day's clothes to announce in a shame faced fashion that，by the way，他 believed he'd look in with me that night at rehearsal，if agreeable. "It was not agreeable；it was decidedly otherwise，for it upset a deep-laid scheme of mine。As fate would have it，by means of sundry extra rehearsals for Easter，我 had made great progress in my acquaintance with Miss Sparrow duringthe last few days,and but for Timothy I should have called upon her that evening with a gift of a new ballad；and so，可能，有 have had the pleasure of escorting her to St. Luke's，to the routing of the manifold brother-kins. ""Well，我 could only toss the roll of music under the sofa as gently as masculine depravity would permit，and conduct my music-greedy friend to the choir-meeting，ostensibly to listen to the chants，though I knew，and he knew，那他 had always heretofore objected to hearing them practised. ""Of course I presented him in due form to Miss Sparrow，when she arrived.He bowed a like worshipping devotee,and as she moved to her place by the contralto,sat down with an exalted expression upon his hat，to the audible amusement of the youthful Sparrows perched on the gallery steps。I glanced at him again duringthe first soprano solo，和 saw him in the same position,his eyes fixed on the singer.Rehearsal over，他 coolly walked up to her to proffer his escort. "I verily believe she was too startled to decline it。她 accepted his arm with a look of blank amazement,and two set off together throughthe April slosh,followed bythe inevitable juvenile guard.Judging frombe spattered condition of Timothy's overcoat that night,the younglings danced about him like frisky satys all the way；但 he wore the face of one who has marked, adding that I should pity the luckless unknown who should fail to secure him as her Benedict. The idea seemed to amuse him immensely. "You kindly insinuate that it would be a benevolence in me to take a wife, said he, with a twinkle in his eye. Now, I protest I'm not conceived enough to think that. On the contrary, if a woman should consent to give herself to me, I should consider the benevolence all on her side. Can't say I crave such a charity just at present, though," he added, in comic haste, stretching his long arms as if to waive the bequest. "The fact is, Hal, I've never seen the girl I want. Being hard upon forty, it stands to reason I never shall see her; I fear she died young. May I trouble you to play Beethoven's Funeral March in respect to her memory." And so the subject dropped. Timothy was no woman-hater you under stand; indeed, he admired the whole sex, but in a collective way, as you might the galaxy, without preferring any individual star. Young ladies were to him nebulous and mysterious creations, to be reverenced from a distance; Le never lavished upon one of them a tithe of the attentions he lavished upon me. I had terrible headaches in those days, and I shall never forget how patiently he would sit and make passes over my head till the pain yielded to his touch, as it was sure to do sooner or later. He had more magnetism than any other man I knew. Detesting a dress-coat and white kids as he detested the machinations of the evil one, he seldom went into society, but he was always ready for lectures and concerts, marching off to the hall with me on his arm as proudly as if I had been the most bewitching damself. Excepting on Saturday, when I was usually engaged at the choir rehearsal, we were rarely separated of an evening. "We had gone on in this David-and-Jonathan style perhaps a year, when Miss Sparrow came to St. Luke's as soprano singer. I remember her first appearance in our dim old gallery that last Sunday in Lent—how she seemed to brighten and glorify the place like a ray of sunshine from heaven. And then her voice! It set you to thinking of angels. Moreover, she had the complexion peculiar to that family, and the blue eyes and golden hair. For the life of me, I couldn't help twisting my neck to gaze at her, at the imminet risk of spoiling my fine accompaniment. That noon Timothy electrified me by appearing in the organ-loft while it amusement of the youthful Sparrow perched on the gallery steps. I glanced at him again during the first soprano solo, and saw him in the same position, his eyes fixed on the singer. Rehearsal over, he coolly walked up to her to proffer his escort. "I verily believe she was too startled to decline it. She accepted his arm with a look of blank amazement, and the two set off together through the April slosh, followed by the inevitable juvenile guard. Judging from the spattered condition of Timothy's overcoat that night, the younglings danced about him like frisky satyrs all the way; but he wore the face of one who has walked with angels far above this mud ball. "This indifference to his broadcloth struck me at the time as peculiar; for he has such a constitutional horror of dirt that he really keeps up his muscle by the use of the clothes brush; still, though I afterward saw him spread his Sunday beans with mustard, and his day bacon with oil, it was not till late on the latter evening that I came to a just appreciation of his abnormal state. Without rapping, he bolted into my room in great agitation. "For the love of mercy, Hal, tell me what to do!" he cried, upsettting the piano-stool without perceiving it. 'You're younger than I, and understand the nature of women better.' "I did, did I? Well, I agreed with him on hearing his story. "He had just returned from Miss Sparrow's. The young lady hadn't invited him to call; she didn't receive calls now, in fact, on account of her father's rapidly increasing illness, though Timothy was not aware of this. I dare say she thought he had come at my request with the new anthem I had promised to send, and she ran down to the parlor at once, not even stopping to put down the vial of medicine she happened to have in her hand. "Good evening, Mr. Goodwin,' said she—nothing more nor less; and then she stood quietly awaiting his message, very pale and interesting, I've no doubt, from grief and watching. "I know Timothy's great warm heart swelled with compassion for the afflicted young thing, but even to express his sympathy he would not touch so much as the hem of her garment till she gave him the right, much less would he take her hand. "I'm afraid you're hardly prepared for what I'm about to say, Miss Sparrow,' he began, pacing the room, and probably hurling the words at her as pebbles from a sling. 'I'm aware it isn't customary for a man to declare himself on so short an acquaintance, but I'm a plain, straightforward fellow, desperately in earnest.' "Fancy the little soprano's wonderment. I seem now to see her baby blue eye opening each moment wider and wider." "'Till now I never met any woman whom I wanted to marry,' Timothy went on, 'and I am forty years old. When at middle age love comes for the first time to men of my temperament. It is no milk-and-water sentiment, Miss Sparrow. I feel that I could give life to make you happy. Will you be my wife?' "You don't mean to say you charged upon the poor girl in that merciless way? I broke in, cutting short his narrative." "He looked aggrieved and sorely puzzled. What had he done amiss? Hadn't he acted the part of a gentleman in avowing his feelings? Wasn't it more honorable to tell her his intentions openly than it would have been to try to steal her affections unawares?" "But how did Miss Sparrow take it?" "That's what troubles me,' said my wretched friend. 'She seemed offended, and would have run away if I had not put my hand on the door and begged her to hear me through. I assured her I would not press her for an immediate answer, but she only burst out crying, declaring I had no right to say such things to her; she would tell her father. As if I should object to his being told! Indeed, I should have spoken to him myself on the subject this morning, had not Dr. Pillsbury said he was too ill to see strangers. I tried to explain this to Miss Sparrow. I implored her to tell me how I had vexed her, but she broke away from me and rushed out of the room. I cannot understand her conduct. I might have known that such a bright young girl couldn't fancy an old fossil such as I, but I am not so bad a fellow, Hal, that she need feel insulted by my love. I would have gone barefooted over burning coals sooner than have wounded her as I have done.' "And so on, and so on, till the cock crew. I ventured a second time to hint that he had merely been too precipitate in his wooping, but he shook his head incredulously, and finally went away as mystified as he came." "At our next meeting the little About Sleep. Although sleep is a natural and involuntary state, it may be greatly promoted by maintaining a good state of health, by daily open air exercise, or by riding or sailing with the face exposed to the air; by having the stomach free from a heavy meal or any indigestible substance, and by the mind being undisturbed with cares. Overfatigue, indulgence in food or drink beyond what nature requires, want of proper exercise and mental disquietude are all a cause of sleeplessness. Breathing in a confined or overheated apartment is also a not unusual cause of broken almbarr. The temperature most suitable for sleep is about sixty degrees, which gives the sensation of neither heat nor cold, and admits of a moderate amount of bedclothing being used. The best posture for sleep is to lie on the right or left side, with the arms crossed over the breast in front and the head well up on the pillow. The mouth should be shut, so that the breathing may be carried on exclusively through the nose. Some persons acquire a habit of sleeping with the mouth open, which causes the grotesque and offensive action of snoring. Going to sleep while lying on the back should be avoided, as besides inducing the sleeper to snore, it is apt to cause disturbing dreams. When lying down to sleep, the mind should be as composed as possible. Thinking ought to be guarded against, as productive of wakefulness. Those who, from nervous irritability, are habitually bad sleepers, resort to various expedients to secure the blessings of repose. One of the most successful plans consists in mentally repeating a familiar poem or psalm, so as to alter the train of thought and lull the consciousness. It is a well ascertained fact that sleep begins at the extremities; the feet sleep first, and then the rest of the person. On this account, in order to fall asleep, we require not only to compose the thinking facilities, but to keep the feet still. The feet must also have an agreeable warmth. With a consciousness of this fact, the North American Indians and others who are in the habit of bivouacking in the open air when on distant expeditions, sleep with their feet toward a fire which they kindle for the purpose. Certain drugs act as an A Comical People. Precedence in England extends even into the servants' hall and kitchen. This is manifested every morning. At family prayers all the house servants attend, just as they used to do here in families in which domestic discipline was kept up. A row of chairs is placed for them in the breakfast-room, and they enter and take their seats. The head of the house reads prayers and the lesson of the day, or some other part of the Bible. I observed that the servants in each house always entered in the same order, the housekeeper marching at the head of the line and taking the seat farthest from the door. And it was, I am sorry to say, rather funny to see some dozen or more of them pound solemnly in and plump stolidly down upon their seats. After prayers are over, they of course rise and go out. But I saw that they did not go out in reverse order, the one nearest the door going out first, as would have been natural and convenient. They rose, stood in line, and then the housekeeper went out first, followed by the servant next her; and thus the line doubled upon itself, the file thus telling itself off, so that the one who entered the room last left it last. The order of entering and leaving was the same. On speaking of this I was told with smiles that precedence was strictly observed among them; that in the servants' hall the housekeeper took the head of the table, the butter foot, and that the servants, upper and under, had places strictly assigned to them according to the dignity of their positions. What is the order of their sitting or of their going the lord of precedence only knows; but I suppose that the my Lady's maid sits on the right hand of the butler, and my Lord's own man on that of the housekeeper. At dinner they sit together at the common table down to cheese; and the upper servants only rise and go in state to desert in the housekeeper's room. The upper servants are those who have servants under them; an upper servant never wears livery. When visitors of a great house bring servants with them, the guests in the servants' hall are formally assigned places strictly according to the rank of their master or mistress. I learned also that servants do call each other by the titles of their masters and mistresses, and that this incident of "high life below stairs" is no fiction—RICHARD GRANT WHITE, DR.W. Office and Residence AN J.H. Physician OFFICE-CORRECTION A DR.A PHYSICIAN OFFICE-CORRECTION A NOT. Commission SCOTT Kroeger's Ban CAP $ me how I had vexed her, but she broke away from me and rushed out of the room. I cannot understand her conduct. I might have known that such a bright young girl couldn't fancy an old fossil such as I, but I am not so bad a fellow, Hal, that she need feel insulted by my love. I would have gone barefooted over burning coals sooner than have wounded her as I have done." "And so on, and so on, till the cock crew. I ventured a second time to hint that he had merely been too precipitate in his wooing, but he shook his head incredulously, and finally went away as mystified as he came. "At our next meeting the little soprano asked me in a shy, conscious way if my friend was quite well. Had I ever fancied his brain affected? I might have answered with a simple negative. I shall always think a little better of myself, Steve, because then and there, in the full bewitchment of Miss Sparrow's presence, I had manliness enough to speak a good word for Timothy—to tell her that, spite of some eccentricities, he had the finest brain, as well as the warmest heart, of any man of my acquaintance. "I did not see her again for monhs, as she withdrew from the choir to devote herself exclusively to her father, whose sufferings were becoming daily more intense. These were not so much from actual pain, as from extreme nervousness that opiates failed to relieve. Dr. Pillsbury often spoke of the case—the doctor who boarded here then—and one day he appealed to Timothy to go with him and try his magnetic power upon the patient. "A queer look came over Timothy's face, but he went at once, and was able to soothe the sick man simply by the laying on of hands. After this, while Mr. Sparrow lived, he went often, and comforted him greatly in his last hours, not only by his mesmeric influence, but indirectly by keeping those boys out of the way. The money he spent at that time in taking the lads to panoramas and menageries would have constituted him life member of a missionary society. "You can see the natural result. Having proved a blessed narcotic to the dying father, Timothy ceased to be an irritant to the daughter. An irritant? Timothy couldn't irritate her, and she could not irritate Timothy. I have studied them curiously the three years of their married life only to arrive at this conviction. And you took them for bride and groom? No wonder! since they still feast with unabated relish on connubial sweets. Ah, well! such diet is not for me, my boy; I thrive upon sour grapes." A Noble Jackass. John A. Rockafellow writes from Arizona to a friend in this city an account of a very amusing adventure he recently had with a cinnamon bear. The latter is a very ugly customer to close with, but our friend was delivered in a most unexpected manner, as will be seen by the following: "Last night I was coming up from the Santa Cruz Valley, eighteen miles below. I was riding a buro (jackass), but, on coming to a hill, dismounted and was slowly walking up, when I came on an poem or psalm, so as to alter the train of thought and lull the consciousness. It is a well ascertained fact that sleep begins at the extremities; the feet sleep first, and then the rest of the person. On this account, in order to fall asleep, we require not only to compose the thinking facilities, but to keep the feet still. The feet must also have an agreeable warmth. With a consciousness of this fact, the North American Indians and others who are in the habit of bivouacking in the open air when on distant expeditions, sleep with their feet toward a fire which they kindle for the purpose. Certain drugs act as an opiate and produce sleep when ordinary means fail; but these should never be taken unless by medical sanction. The practice of using opiates is most detrimental to health, and, if persevered in, is ruinous to the constitution. Coffee and other beverages act variously on different individuals. They exhilarate some, and others they send to sleep. Tea usually acts as an exhilarant, by stimulating the nervous system, and should not be taken less than four hours before going to sleep." — Chamber's Journal. An Artful Dressmaker. A dressmaker of Brighton, England, Mrs. Aaronsen, has been in the habit of making her customers jolly, good-natured and generous, by inducing them to partake freely of alcoholic refreshments. One of her patrons, a Mrs. Kemp, of Burgess Hill, during a visit to the artful dressmaker, became so exhilarated by her libations, that she very likely imagined her husband possessed the purge of Fortunatus; for, regardless of expense, she ordered the designing dressmaker to make her several black silk dresses, after various styles and patterns, and other garments to match. It is strange that the lady's extravagance could only find an outlet through the medium of dark silk. It may have been that, while in her cups, Mrs. Kemp felt as exuberant and hilarious as the representative young widow is said to be by the novelists, and other heartless people, when the unavailing grief of the first few months of her lonely widowhood has given place to the calm philosophy which urges her to dry her useless tears and display her charms to the best advantage, with the hope that a new admirer may be induced to propose for her companionship until death or divorce tears asunder two hearts that nature formed to beat as one. And Mrs. Kemp may also have cast her prophetic eye down the dim vista of the future, and behold poor Kemp's inanimate form safely deposited in the company of his ancestors. With this mournful picture in her mind's eye, it is very likely she thought of the usefulness of ten or a dozen black silk dresses, in assisting to set off the charms of an attractive widow. This may have been her motive in ordering them, for black silk is conceited to be especially becoming to young widows. Mr. Kemp, it is inferred, thought black anything but becoming to his wife when the bill of fifty guineas was presented to him for payment. He even had doubts of her sanity in ordering so many dresses and his doubts became con- Mr. Hawker, the rector of Morwenstow, a quaint village on the Cornwall coast, was a grotesque man, but devoted Christian minister. His childhood was full of pranks, one of which is thus told: At full moon in the July of 1825 or 1826, he swam or rode out to a rock at some little distance from the shore, pleated seaweed into a wig, which he threw over his head, so that it hung in lank steamers down his back, enveloped his legs in an oilskin wrap, and otherwise naked, sat on the rock, flashing the moussebeams about from a sand mirror, and sang and screamed until attention was arrested. Some people passing along the cliff heard and saw him, and ran into Bude, saying that a mermaid with a fish's tail was sitting on a rock, combing her hair and singing. A number of people ran out on the rocks and along the beach, and listened, awe-struck, to the singing and disconsolete wailing of the mermaid. Presently she dived off the rocks and disappeared. This performance was repeated for several nights, to the great mystification of the town. When he became the rector of the ancient church where he preached forty years, he showed off his eccentricities in such ways as the following anecdote delineates: The untily condition of the church affected one of his curates, a man of a somewhat domineering character. One day he swept up all the rubbish he could find in the church, old decorations of the previous Christmas, decayed southernwood, and roses of the foregoing midsummer festivity, scraps of old Bibles, prayer books, and manuscript scraps of poetry, match ends,candle ends,eTC. Having filled a barrow with all these sundries, he wheeled it down to the vicarage door,rangthe bell,and sacked for Mr.Hawker.The vicar came into the porch. "This is the rubbish I have found in your church." "Not all," said Mr. Hawker."Complete the pile by seating yourself on top,and I will see tothe whole being cared for speedily." Had No Fear of His Drowning. Charles Dickens,在his biographyof Charles Matthews,tellsa striking anecdote about Lord Blessington.Hewas A Noble Jackass. John A. Rockafellow writes from Arizona to a friend in this city an account of a very amusing adventure he recently had with a cinnamon bear. The latter is a very ugly customer to close with, but our friend was delivered in a most unexpected manner, as will be seen by the following; "Last night I was coming up from the Santa Cruz Valley, eighteen miles below. I was riding a buro (jackass), but, on coming to a hill, dismounted and was slowly walking up, when I came on an immense cinnamon bear, less than twenty feet away. Of course, to run was out of the question; so I stood and eyed the old fellow, and he stood and eyed me, as I slowly pulled out my six-shooter from the holster. Old bear hunters say it is not safe to tackle a cinnamon with a rifle carrying less than seventy grains of powder, and then give him a dead shot, as the cinnamons are worse than the grizzlies. I didn't have my rifle with me, and as my six-shooter only uses twenty-three of powder, I concluded I was not looking for a fight unless the bear was. Whatever his intentions were I don't know, but my buro (jackass), who was some distance ahead just then, caught sight of him, and instead of running away as one would expect, started for Mr. Bruin with tail and ears erect, and to clap the climax, commenced to bray. This was too much, and the old bear started as if he was shot out of a gun. He just tore up the ground, and when he couldn't run fast enough, he rolled down the mountain side. 'Old Balaam' has played that trick before with me when I have been trying to get up on a deer, and I have always pounded upon him for it, but last night I concluded to give him a leather medal."—Seracuse Herald. It is not gold or goods that makes a man wealthy. The best wealth is of the heart, an enlightened mind, a loyal conscience, pure affections. He is wealthiest who has the largest stock of wisdom, virtue and love, whose heart beats with warm sympathies for his fellow man—who finds good in all seasons, all providences, all men. The generous man who pities the unfortunate, the poor man who orders well his life, the loving man who clings closely to his family and friends, the studious man who seeks instruction in all things, are truly wealthy men. Roast Forequarter of Lamb.—Ingredients—Lamb, a little salt. Mode—To obtain the flavor of lamb is perfection, it should not be long kept; time to cool is all that it requires, and though the meat may be somewhat thready, the juices and flavor will be infinitely superior to that of lamb that has been killed two or three days; have a brisk fire when the joint is put down; baste it constantly until the moment of serving. Lamb should be thoroughly done without being dried up, and not the slightest appearance of red gravy should be visible as in roast mutton; this rule is applicable to all young roast white meats; serve with a little gravy made in the dripping pan and send to table with a tureen of mint sauce, a fresh salad, a cut lemon, a small piece of butter and a little cayenne should also be placed on the table so that when the carver separates the shoulder from the ribs they may be ready for his use. Having nipped a barrow with an sundries, he wheeled it down to the vicarage door, rang the bell, and asked for Mr. Hawker. The vicar came into the porch. "This is the rubbish I have found in your church." "Not all," said Mr. Hawker. "Complete the pile by seating yourself on top, and I will see to the whole being cared for speedily." Had No Fear of His Drowning. Charles Dickens, in his biography of Charles Matthews, tells a striking anecdote about Lord Blessington. He was a good-natured, lazy, fussy, selfish old man, who tried to while away his time with a dilettante devotion to the arts. On the expiration of Matthew's ap prenticeship as an architect,Lord Blessington took him up and became his patron. Matthews behaved with so much tact that when the building whim was over he was invited to accompany his employer to Naples, where Lady Blessington was living, the center of a fashionable artistic society, the members of which either painted, or wrote poetry or novels, or played the flute, or in some way or other were absorbed in the exercise of the nobler faculties of the soul. The genuine fun and good spirits of Matthews made him a most welcome addition to the house; and although his position was not a very easy one, his good sense carried him through; he was not one of the sensitive people who are always looking their gift horses in the month. One day the party had gone to explore some ruins rising out of the sea. Matthews describes how, as he was leaping from stone to stone," Lord Blessington called out more than once, to my great surprise," Take care! take care! For Heaven's sake mind what you are about! You'll be in to a certainty! After one or two repetitions of his alarm,Lady Blessington, losing patience, exclaimed," Do let the boy alone,Blessington. If he falls into the water what does it signify? you know he swims like a fish." Yes, yes,' said his lordship,' that's all very well, but I shall catch my death driving home with him in the carriage." Storm Justice—In Russia,a servant girl lazily brought suit against her mistress for defamation of character. The presiding judge was the latter's husband,and he condemned his wife to pay fifty silver roubles. DR. W. N. HARDIN, Office and Residence, Corner Los Angeles and Sycamore Streets, ANAHEIM, CAL. J. H. YOCUM, M. D. Physician & Surgeon, Office and Residence corner Centre and Palm streets, with office hours at Purgson & Lake's Drug Store, from 9 to 10 A.M., and 4 to 5 P.M. ANAHEIM, CAL. DR. ALICE HIGGINS, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON OFFICE—Corner of Lemon and Centre Streets. ANAHEIM. DR. E. L. COWAN, DENTIST, HAS OPENED AN OFFICE in the upper part of Mrs. Metra's building, Los Angeles Street, Anaheim. Having had twenty years' experience, he can speak with confidence of his work. His scale of prices will be very low. He will be found in his office every day between the hours of 9 A.M. and 8 P.M. Robert W. Scott. Victor Montgomery. SCOTT & MONTGOMERY, ATTORNEYS AT LAW. Probate Business a Specialty. ANAHEIM. Los Angeles County, Cal. R. W. SCOTT, NOTARY PUBLIC Commissioner of Deeds for Arizona Territory. SCOTT & MONTGOMERY'S OFFICE. Kroeger's Block, Center Street, Anaheim. Bank of Anaheim, CAPITAL STOCK, $100,000.00. NOTICE. All owners of stock of any kind, horses, cattle, sheep or hogs, are hereby cautioned against allowing their animals to range on the Stearns' Ranches without authority from the undersigned, so they will be proceeded against for so doing, as trespassers, under N. Fence Act. Under no circumstances will hogs be permitted to range on the said ranchos. All parties are also cautioned against cutting and removing from said ranchos wood of any kind, either for firewood or fencing purposes, and are hereby notified that the action of the Trespass Law relative to such acts, will be rigidly enforced against them. J. K. TUFFREE, Agent for leasing unsold lands on the Stearns' Ranches, for pastureage. Office is Langensberger's store, Centre street, Anaheim. B. DREYFUS. ANAHEIM. San Francisco. J. POWDERFIELD. New York. B. DREYFUS & CO., Growers and Dealers in California Wines AND GRAPE BRANDIES. 45 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. STANDARD Fire Insurance COMPANY. Bank of Anaheim, CAPITAL STOCK, $100,000.00. S. H. MOTT PRESIDENT. B. F. SEIBERT, CASHIER. DIRECTORS: H. MABURY, E. F. SPENCE. B. F. SEIBERT, S. H. MOTT. O. S. WITHERBY. This Bank receives Deposits, Loans Money, Buys and Sells Exchange and Currency, makes Collections and transacts a General Banking Business. CORRESPONDENTS: Pacific Bank, San Francisco; First National Bank, New York. The Commercial Bank OF LOS ANGELES. AUTHORIZED CAPITAL $300,000. J. E. HOLLENBECK President. E. F. SPENCE, Cashier. DIRECTORS: A. H. WILCOX, S. H. MOTT, I. LANKERSHIM, E. F. SPENCE, J. E. HOLLENBECK, O. S. WITHERBY, H. MABURY, W. WOODWORTH. NEW YORK. STANDARD Fire Insurance COMPANY. Capital Stock, $5,000,000. One of the Soundest and most Reliable Companies doing business in the United States. RICHARD MELROSE, Agent for Anaheim and vicinity. OFFICE... IN GAZETTE BUILDING. Policies Issued upon Application DR. SANFORD'S DOLLAR PAD! LIVER ABSORBENT PAD The Best and Cheapest Liver and Body Pad in the World. FOR THE LIVER, LUNGS, STOMACH, SPLEEM, BACK AND KIDNEYS. An Improved Appliance for $1.00 to Prevent Believe and Curse the following diseases: Agus and Fever, Dumb Ague, Chills, Liver Compialnt, Billiousness, Jaundice, Torsadity, Enlargement of the Liver, Lasitude, Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Skin Headaches, Depression of Spirits, Dullness, Wrist of Appetite, Material Disease, Enla gement of the Spleen, Ague Cake, Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Lumbargage, Sciatica, Pains in the Side, Back, Hones and Muscles, For the Relief of Asthma, Cararthr, Bronchitis, Diphtheria, Whipworm Cough, Weak Lungs; also, a Great Relief in Female Weakness and Irregularity. The One Dollar Pads are within the reach of every sufferer, Rich or Poor, full size, highly medicated, containing the best known absorbent ingredients, and will prove a boon to all Old and Young Adults and Females. Can be worn at all times without interfering with internal treatment! Insisting this pad over the pit of your stomach you save doctor's bills, avoid taking nauseous drugs; correct the stomach; invigorate the liver; prevent biliomonas abscess from the system material; and contagious diseases, and find ready relief. If you want certification, we can send them. Price: full regular Liver size; $1 each. Large Body Pad, rubber back; $8 each. We send them by post, prepaid everywhere, far and near. If not found at your Drurgist's TAKE NO OTHER, but include amount to us, and you will receive either order by return mail. Address C. A COOK & CO., Chicago, Sole Agents for U.S. and Canada. DIRECTORS: A. M. WILCOX, S. H. MOTT, I. LANKERSHIM, E. P. SPENCE, J. E. HOLLENBECK, O. S. WITHERBY, H. MABURY, W. WOODWORTH. THE BANK IS PREPARED TO RECEIVE DEPOSITS ON OPEN ACCOUNT, ISSUE CERTIFICATES OF DEPOSIT AND TRANSACT A GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS COLLECTIONS MADE AND PROCEDURES REMITTED AT CURRENT RATE OF EXCHANGE. THE STEARNS' RANCHOS. ALFRED ROBINSON, Trustee. 120 Sutter St., San Francisco, California. EIGHTY THOUSAND ACRES OF LAND FOR SALE IN LOTS TO SUIT. SUITABLE FOR THE Culture of oranges, lemons, limes, figs, almonds, walnuts, apples, peaches, pears, alfalfa, corn, rye, barley, flax, raisin, cotton, etc. Also many thousand acres of NATURAL EVERGREEN FARMING suitable for dairying. Good water is abundant at an average depth of six feet from the surface. On almost every acre of this land flowing artesian wells can be obtained, and the more elevated portions can be irrigated by the water of the Santa Ana river. Most of these lands are naturally moist, requiring only good cultivation to produce crops. TERMS: One-fourth cash; balance in one, two or three years, with ten percent interest. I will take pleasure in showing these lands to parties seeking land who are invited to come and see this extensive tract before purchasing elsewhere. W. M. OLDEN, AGENT, Anaheim, Los Angeles Co.