anaheim-gazette 1875-01-23

ANAHEIM VOL. V. Anaheim Gazette PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY. RICHARD MELROSE & CO., PUBLISHERS AND PROPHETORS. Terms of Subscription: One year ... $1.00 Big Months ... 2.50 Three Months ... 1.50 All subscriptions must be paid in advance Club Rates: To order to increase our already large circulation, we offer the following implements to club: Ten copies, one year ... $23.50 Twenty copies, on year ... $60.00 Opposition will be sent free to the person getting up the club. Transient Advertising: | BRACE | 1 w. | 2 w. | 3 w. | 4 w. | | :---: | :---: | :---: | :---: | :---: | | 1 square | $1.00 | $1.50 | $2.00 | $2.50 | | 2 squares | 2.00 | 3.00 | 3.50 | 4.00 | | 3 squares | 3.00 | 4.50 | 5.00 | 5.50 | | 4 squares | 4.00 | 6.00 | 6.50 | 7.00 | Regular Advertising: One square or less, per month ... $1.50 Two squares ... 2.00 One column ... 15.00 Half column ... 8.00 Quarter column ... 5.00 Legal advertisements must be paid for in force all law of publication is made. BUSINESS CARDS MISS McWHIRTER, Dressmaker, At the residence of P.C. McKinnie Centre Street, Anaheim. Dressmaking, Stamping, Braiding, Pinking, and all kinds of plain sewing at reasonable rates. MRS. M.E.PARK, Millinery and Fancy Goods, Lace Collars and Bibbons of all kinds. Imported Hats and Bonnets Always on hand. Hats Cleaned and Pressed In all the latest styles. Store under the Lafayette Hotel, Los Angeles, Cal. PROF. DEAN Propriator of the... Bath House and Barber Shop Centre Street, Anaheim. FRANK EY'S Hair Restorer A colorful preparation for cleansing and invigorating the growth of the hair. Manufactured and sold by Frank Ey. Fashionable Hair Fresher, Planters' Hotel Building, Anaheim. A. G.BEEBE, ANAHEIM DR. Herman Blanken ... Drugs and Medicines Perfume Trusses, Toilets Wines and Liquors Prescriptions care J. H. G. Practical H ... AN CARRIAGE Opposit: Po CENTRE STREET... All kinds of Carriage Very Bee Prices according to sty $15 upward. A. H. Carriage and Wag Transient Advertising: SPACE 1 w. 2 w. 3 w. 4 w. 1 square $1.00 $8.50 $2.00 $2.50 2 squares 2.00 3.00 3.50 4.00 3 squares 3.00 4.50 5.00 5.50 4 squares 4.00 5.00 6.50 7.00 Regular Advertising: One square or less, per month ... $1.50 Two squares ... $2.00 One column ... $5.00 Half column ... $8.00 Quarter column ... $5.00 Legal advertisements must be paid for before all law of publication is made. Advertisements must be banked in before 4 o'clock on Friday afternoon, in order to insure publication on the Saturday following. Communications for publication should be added to R. McLean & Co., and not to individual members of the firm. Couples of the Gazette in wrappers ready for mailing are for sale at the office of publication. PROFESSIONAL CARDS DR. J. S. CARDINER, Physician and Surgeon. Office ... in Clark & Austin's Building ANAHEIM. J. H. YOCUM, M. D. (Graduate of Pennsylvania University). HAVING HAD TWENTY YEARS ACTIVE practical exp which is prepared to practice medicine in all of our branches, in accordance with the latest approved manual of the Art. Office and residence opposite Langmerger's store, Anaheim, Cal. Dr. J. M. ROBERTS, Resident Dentist, Anaheim, Cal. AS FITTED UP A COMMODIOUS OFFICE in the Anaheim Hall, sitting where he can be found on Fridays and Saturdays of each work. MRS. A. HICGINS, Ladies' Physician and Midwife. Particular attention given to peculiar to women and children. Corner Lemon and Centre Streets, Anaheim. PIONEER DRUC STORE! Centre Street, corner of Lemon, Anaheim, Cal. W. M. Higgins, Proprietor Dealer in... Drugs, Perfumery and Garden Spice. GEORGE C. KNOX, Civil Engineer and Surveyor, Office at the GAZETTE office, Los Angeles Street... Anaheim. A. BAILEY, Justice of the Peace. Office at... ENTERPRISE HALL BUILDING. J. W. CLARK, JUSTICE of the PEACE... Civil Engineer and Surveyor, Office at the GAZETTE office, Los Angeles Street... Anaheim. A. BAILEY, Justice of the Peace. Office at... ENTERPRISE HALL BUILDING. J. W. CLARK, JUSTICE of the PEACE NOTARY PUBLIC. Land Agent and Convoyancer. Acknowledgments taken Loans negotiated on Real Estate security. Office at Clark & Austin's book store. SAMUEL HAMILTON, Attorney at Law ...AND... NOTARY PUBLIC. OFFICE WITH WM. R. OLDEN, Centre Street, Anaheim. J. G. HOWARD. H. T. HAZARD. HOWARD & HAZARD, Attorneys at Law. Office in No. 8, Downey Block, LOS ANGELES, CAL. B. H. CHAPMAN. A. W. HUTTON. CHAPMAN & HUTTON, Attorneys at Law. Office in Temple Block, Up Stairs, LOS ANGELES, CAL. A. A. WILSON, Attorney at Law. Roxana No. 35 and 27, Temple Block; LOS ANGELES, CAL. SAMUEL MEYER, Crockery, Glassware, Lamps Oils, Gas Fixtures and Kitchen Utensils Commercial Street, Los Angeles. CHARLES WILLE, COOPERAGE! Pipe, Barrels and Kegs on Hand at all Times. Tanks and Tubs Made to Order! North 2d street Anaheim. CHARLES HILLE Propriator of the CITY BAKERY, Centre Street, Anaheim. Fresh Bread constantly on hand. S. C. FOY, Pioneer Saddle and Harness Maker and dealer in Saddlery, Leather & Findings 17 Los Angeles St., Los Angeles. CARPET WAREHOUSE Aaron Smith. No. 75 Downey Block... Los Angeles. Importer and Dealer in... Carpets, Oilcloths, Paper Hangings, and Upholstery Goods. Carpets Sewed and put down neatly. AMERICAN Bread & Cracker BAKERY. Corner of First and Main Streets, Los Angeles. Butter, Sugar, Soda, JennyLind Pilot and Ginger CRACKERS At San Francisco prices. We have also on lime a large assortment of Cakes small and large. Wedding Cakes Of all description. Call and examine for your Its before going elsewhere. ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA, JANUARY 23, 1875. MISCELLANEOUS ANAHEIM DRUG STORE. Herman Blanken - Proprietor. Dealer in... Drugs and Medicines, Patent Medicines, Perfumery, Trusses, Toilet articles, etc. Wines and Liquors for medical use. Prescriptions carefully Dispensed. J. H. GOCCH, Practical House, Sign, AND CARRIAGE PAINTER! Opposit: Poplar Row, CENTRE STREET...ANAHEIM All kinds of Carriage Painting done in the Very Best Style. Prices according to style and quality, from $15 upward. A. HILL, Carriage and Wagon Manufacturer, LEMON STREET...ANAHEIM. BANKS THE BANK Mr. WOMAN. P. R. P. WOMAN. TEMPLE & WORKMAN BANKERS, Temple Blank...Los Angeles. Receive Deposits and Items Ship Certificates and transact a General Banking Business. Draw on the... London and San Francisco Bank, Limited, at San Francisco. Exchange for sale on... New York. London. Paris and Hamburg. Legal Tenders, Bullion, Gold Dust, and Government State, County and City Bonds bought and sold. Receive valuables for safe keeping. FARMERS' AND MERCHANTS' BANK OF LOS ANGELES. BANK CAPITAL - $500,000 JOHN G. DOWNEY....President. IBRA W. HELLMAN. UNPLEASANT DUTIES Probably no one ever fully estimates how many of the disappointments, vexations and failures of life are due to the habit of shrinking from unpleasant duties. It is not a glaring, conspicuous fault, which at once draws the condemnation of every good person, and bears the impress of its own folly; it is a secret, insidious, subtle evil, that sheds silently, but surely, its poisonous influence all through the life of him who harbors it. The forms it takes are numerous; the methods of its operation are various, the motives it uses to hide its true nature are countless. Selfishness may blind one to the perception of his obligations, or a character hardened by crime may openly defy and disown them; but this practice of shrinking from duty, because it is disagreeable, is of an utterly different character from either. It is often associated with clear intelligence, good intentions, sensibility, refinement and an amiable disposition. There may be a distinct perception of what is right, and a sincere resolve to fulfil it, and yet, as the imagination dwells on the possible contingencies, and spreads before the mind in exaggerated colors the difficulties, embarrassments,dangers or annoyances that may attend it, it is at first procrastinated and finally re-linquished, not with any distinct resolution, but rather with a feeble relaxing of the will power, and drifting with the tide of present inclination. Perhaps there is not one who is wholly free from this defect, though the ways in which it shows itself are so varied that it often escapes recognition. More than any other fault does Opposite: Poplar Row. CENTRE STREET...ANAHEIM All kinds of Carriage Painting done in the Very Best Style. Prices according to style and quality, from $15 upward. A. HILL, Carriage and Wagon Manufacturer, LEMON STREET: ANAHEIM. CARRIAGES, BUGGIES, SPRING, FARM and Freight Wagons Made to Order, on short notice, and of the best material, and by the least workmen the country affords. PLUMBING! In all its branches. Tin, Copper, and Sheet-Iron Work done, and artesian well pipe made. Iron, Steel, Cumberland Coal. Hardwood Lumber, etc., for sale. Hubs, Spokes, Rims, Axles, and all material kept in a first-class establishment. Horse-shooting well done. Blacksmith and Wagon Establishment, Centre Street, Anaheim. THE UNDERSIGNED WOULD BEG TO inform the public that he is fully prepared to do all kinds of Blacksmith Work, Wagon and Carriage Making, and General Job Work, at the most reasonable prices. Horse-shooring is made a specialty at this establishment. Kindness, strict attention to business, and all work warranted is my motto. Wm. Crowther, Proprietor. Semi-Tropical Bitters, PREPARED BY. Herman Blanken, Druggist, Centre Street, Anaheim, California. THE BEST TONIC FOR INVIGORATING the digestive organs improving the appetite and imparting to the whole system warmth, vigor and cheerfulness. TINWO, Chinese Wash-House, Los Angeles Street, opp. Masonic Hall, ANAHEIM. WASHING AND IRONING DONE IN A prompt and workmanlike manner and at Lowest Rates. Patronage Solicited. Great Reduction IN... J. G. JACKSON, Corner of Alameda and First Streets, Los Angeles, Cal. Legal Tenders, Bullion, Gold Dust, and Government State, County and City Bonds bought and sold. Receive valables for safe keeping. FARMERS' AND MERCHANTS' BANK OF LOS ANGELES. BANK CAPITAL - $500,000 JOHN G. DOWNEY...President. ISAIS W. HELLMAN...Cashier. Exchange for sale on... San Francisco, New York, Frankfort, Hamburg, London, Berlin, Dublin and Paris. Receive Deposits and bank their Certificate s. Buy and sell Legal Tenders. Governors at State and County Bonds. Will also pay the highest price for Gold and Silver Bullion. From and after this date, on all monies left as term deposits, interest will be paid. Los Angeles, April 14, 1870. LOS ANGELES COUNTY SAVINGS BANK Main Street, Los Angeles. CAPITAL STOCK...$300,000 President...J. S. SLAUSON Vice-President...J. M. GRIFITH DIRECTORS: J. S. SLAUSON, J. M. GRIFFITH. V. A. HOVER, ROBERTS. BAKER. J. BIXBY. H. P. TICHENOR. George S. Dodge. Open for business from 10 A.M. till 3 P.M., and Saturday evenings from 6 to 8 o'clock. Deposits received in any amounts. Money to loan on real estate in amounts and for length of time desired. AMERICAN LAUNDRY WASHING...AND... IRONING Done in good style and at the cheapest rates at the American Laundry on Clementina Street. MRS. A. NEAL. LOUIS LEWIN, Successor to Brodrick & Co.. Spring Street, opposite "Star" office, Los Angeles, Cal. Dealer in... General Stationery, School, Blank, and Law Books, Sheet Music and Musi- Perhaps there is not one who is wholly free from this defect, though the ways in which it shows itself are so varied that it often escapes recognition. More than any other fault does it hide itself, even from our own consciousness. When we avoid a duty or break a promise or defer an obligation, a hundred excellent reasons instantly occur to us to plead in justification; but which of us will say even to himself, "I ought to have done it, I could have done it, but it was unpleasant, therefore I neglected it?" Yet probably nine times out of ten this is the true cause of such derelictions. It is just this secret and insidious quality that causes this defect to spread rapidly and cheeks all efforts to exterminate it. When any fault is brought to the light and openly acknowledged, the first step has been taken to cure it. But when we carefully conceal it from view, and even refuse to look upon it ourselves, it will take root in our characters and develop in our lives. This drifting away from what is disagreeable is fatal to success wherever it may lark. Nothing worthy of accomplishment can be performed without trials, annoyances and perplexities. If we have not force of will enough to go through them, if we have not patience to bear them; or courage to overcome them, failure is inevitable. The successful man of business is he who finches not under the daily vexations and irksome duties that fail to his lot. He has clearness of mind to discern, and force of will to pursue the straight path to success, and knows that the true economy of power consists in the regular performance of each duty in its appointed time, whether pleasant or disagreeable. A merchant of this city whose business arrangements, though large and complicated, were noted for their calm regularity, was once asked how he contrived to prevent all confusion; and to have his own time so free from interruption. He replied, "In planning my work for each day, both for myself and others, I always endeavor to arrange to have the most disagreeable duties performed first." There was much sound philosophy in this system. The longer we put off that which is unpleasant the hardest it becomes to do, and the less probability there is of its being accomplished. The courage and self-control which faces all the most disagreeable parts of a life work, and performs them with a ready alacrity, are just the qualities that will insure success in any undertaking. Under such treatment they lose half their irksomeness, while if they are dreaded and procrastinated they grow more and more terrible to the imagination. It is not only the labor of life that offers difficult and repulsive tasks to conquer. Each temperament has different temptations. To some responsi- Great Reduction LUMBER!! J. G. JACKSON, Corner of Alameda and First Streets, Los Angeles, Cal. Sells at reduced rates. Rough and Surfaced and Oregon & Redwood LUMBER, SHINGLES, LATHS SHAKES, DOORS, WINDOWS, BLINDS, PLASTER, CEMENT, HAIR, ETC. Wm. W. Robinson, Agent. P. LANGENBEGGER L. HALNESTADT. HAL BERSTADT& CO Anabeim Landing. Dealers in... LUMBER of Every Description, Keep constantly on hand a large and complete assortment of Redwood & Oregon Pine Lumber Rough, Surfaced, Tongued and Grooved. Posts, Shingles,Laths,Doors Shakes, Blinds, Plain and Fancy Pickets, Windows,Mouldings,Lime, Plaster,Hair,Nails, and Hardware. All of our lumber is of the best quality and we are determined to sell at the Lowest Rates. All kinds of... Grain and Country Produce Taken in exchange for Lumber. EXAMINE OUR STOCK. LOUIS LEWIN, Successor to Brodrick & Co. Spring Street, opposite "Star" office, Los Angeles, Cal. Dealer in... General Stationery, School,Blank,and Law Books, Sheet Music and Musical Instruments, Law Blanks,Magazines,Etc. Onions taken for any Book or Music published in the United States. LOS ANGELES AGENCY! Absolutely the Best Protection against Fire. The Babcock FIRE EXTINGUISHER! Self-Acting Fire Engine! AND Hook & Ladder Trucks! In daily use by the Fire Departments of the principal cities of the Union. The Government has adopted them. The leading railroads use them. SEND FOR THEIR RECORD. Crofutt's Life Protector. DIEBOLD, KIENZLE & Co.'s Fire and Burglar-Proof Safes! AND Combination Locks,Vault Doors etc. Cardinal Lane,Diamond Lake, Lumberton,Salt Lake and Salphurte Addl. M. BORROWE, Local Agent. Main Street rear of Telegraph office. we put on that which is unpleasant the hardest it becomes to do,and the less probability there is of its being accomplished.The courage and self-control which faces all the most disagreeable parts of a life work,and performs them with a ready alacrity,are just the qualities that will insure success in any undertaking.Under such treatment they lose half their irksomeness,while if they are dreaded and procrastinated they grow more and more terrible to the imagination. It is not only the labor of life that offers difficult and repulsive tasks to conquer.Each temperament has different temptations.To some responsibility is a burden which they shrink from assuming.Some dread making decisions;some dislike mental exertion;some neglect their health,others their social obligations.To some the writing of a letter is a grievous burden;others shrink from a casual meeting with a stranger.Some regard economy as a bitter medicine,only to be swallowed on compulsion;others regret that public opinion forces them into the disagreeable necessity of parting with their money.Many have faults which conscience call them to correct;but they dread the requisite self-lenial,and put off,从 time to time,any sincere attempt.Whatever be the unpleasant duty,它是 weak and cowardly to evade it—it is manly and brave to meet it promptly and fulfill it thoroughly.One course is followed by failure,distrust and deterioration;the other by success,strength of purpose and steady moral improvement. Philadelphia Ledger. SENATOR TOM CORWIN, who despite the impediments and difficulties of his early years,rose by the sheer force of genius to exalted station and command influence—to be,in fact,the friend,associate of such men as Daniel Webster John C. Calhoun and Henry Clay—in consequence of some peculiarity we have never seen stated,acquired the subbriquet of "Solitude."This "nick-name,"we presume,must have been applied to him on account of his retiring habits and constant avoidance of society.Mr. C's ugly face (for it was extremely ugly) could have had nothing to do with the designation in question;yet Mr.Webster encountered him "full in the face" one fine morning,in Pennsylvania avenue,this broke out: "Of Solitude where are the charms That says have seen in thy face?" GAZETTE NO. 14 DUTIES. Never fully estimates appointments, vex of life are due to long from unpleasant marring, contemptuous draws the condemnation of person, and bears own folly; it is a subtil evil, that merely, its poisonous forms it lakes methods of its operation motives it uses are countless, and one to the perceptions, or a character time may openly admit; but this practice is guilty, because it is an utterly different error. It is often assoc- intelligence, good inference and motion. There may mention of what is resolve to fulfill it,ination dwells on monies, and spreads exaggerated colors arrangements, dangers may attend it, it is real and finally rea- any distinct resource with a feeble relaxer, and drifting present inclination. Not one who is his defect, though he shows itself are men escapes recogniz- other fault does BEAU BRUMMEL. Probably the force of impudence "could no further go" than it was carried in his life time, by the individual whose name we place at the head of these brief and reminiscent remarks. That Brummel was endowed by nature with intellectual qualities of no mean order—and that independently of his characteristic quality above referred to—there can be little doubt in most assuredly, short impudences could never have occurred to him that habitual (not to say familiar) intercourse with persons of rank which was, we believe, his constant loast. Doubtless, Brummel's ascendancy in that particular sphere of the world of fashion which he most cultivated, was duly appreciated by all the aristocratic fops and dandles about town whose Ignoble propensities led them to indulge in showy dress and pertness of demeanor; yet it was this same ascendancy (let us acknowledge the truth), in connection, however, with the Bear's more original qualities of mind, that reconciled the elite among his acquaintances to his amazing audacity, even when that audacity was exercised at their expense. As an illustrious instance bearing upon this fact, we may mention the circumstance of Brummel's dining frequently with the Prince Regent. It was on one of these occasions, and the last, (as the reader may well surmise) that Brummel, alike intoxicated with vanity and wine, ordered the Prince, whom he addressed by his christian name of George, to "ring the bell." The Regent, probably losing, for the moment, and for the first time in his life, his presence of mind, appeared thunderstruck for an instant; but immediately arising from his MERCELLANOUL. The San Bernardino Guardians has been changed to a daily. The Grand Jury of Moral County have found a bill against Harry Granius for the murder of Edward Madden. A Philadelphia manufactory turns out 2,000 umbrellas a day—about half the number that are stolen in the same time. The Santillan claim, well known to the citizens of San Francisco, has been revived before the U.S. Senatorial Judiciary Committee. As Flower is said to be a rising man in Texas politics. An exchange says "he cometh up Ace Flower but may be cut down like the grass." This world would be a sandy desert of lonesomeness if women were not privileged to attend auction sales and pay more for an old bureau than a new chamber set would cost. There are 243 Granges of the Patrons of Husbandry in Oregon and adjourning Territories. Those have an average membership of 50 each, which gives 12,150 persons affiliating with the order there. An Indianapolis man, whose wife left him a few months ago and commenced an action for divorce, has brought a suit for $40,000 against his mother-in-law, whom he considers wholly to blame in the matter. A Chicago boy of ten says that when his parents get into a fight, and his mother calls for a flat-iron and his father yells for the stove-handle, he is placed in a most embarrassing position, as he is sure to get licked, no matter who he minds. A HORRIBLE FATE—Mrs. Jervis, wife of a farmer living near Sacramento, died a few days ago in this city from the bite of a tarantula. The case is singular, and is another instance of the deadly attributes of this insect, not uncommon in many portions of California. Some six months ago Mrs. Jervis, then living on her husband's farm, had occasion to strike a light, and going to a closet, felt about for a match. While so doing she found something in a piece of writing paper, which she thought might be a bunch of matches, and took hold of it. As she did so she felt a sharp pain like the prick of a needle or pin, and found something attached to her forefinger. She screamed with terror. Her husband rose, lit a candle, and to his horror discovered that she had been bitten by a tarantula—whose poison is deadly unless immediately canterized. He told his wife that she had only one chance for her life, to have the injured part cut out. She consented, and getting his razor he cut a piece one inch square out of her finger. The unfortunate woman stood the operation heroically, but its effects were not such as were desired. She lingered for six months in continual agony, her blood literally drying up, till she was reduced to an absolute skeleton. Three months before her death her entire right side became paralyzed; yet strange to say, the hand had a tendency to crawl, and the fingers increasingly moved like the legs of a spider. This feeling she said she could not control, and it presents one of the strangest phases of this disease, though a usual accompaniment, so averred, of poisoning by insects of the spider kind. San Francisco Post. MODERNIZED DICTIONARY.—Some one, whose experience has soured his disposition and made him cynical, has been supplying new definitions to old words with the following results: Honesty—A lost art. Murder—An obsolete term, once used by the ancients to indicate the transmigration of souls. Embezzlement—Spelt t-h-e-f-t in the dark ages, but altered to suit panic membership or no each when given 12,150 persons affiliating with the order there. An Indianapolis man, whose wife left him a few months ago and commenced an action for divorce, has brought a suit for $40,000 against his mother-in-law, whom he considers wholly to blame in the matter. A Chicago boy of ten says that when his parents get into a fight, and his mother calls for a flat-iron and his father yells for the stove-handle, he is placed in a most embarrassing position, as he is sure to get illoked, no matter who he minds. The London Times is happy, after a brief inspection of a map of this country, to think that England was released from the American colonies when that event occurred; also by this time the colonists would have been the English government and England a mere dependency. The snow blockade of the Kansas Pacific Railroad still continues, and is so likely to continue for several days yet, that mail and express matter and important freight has been ordered to be transmitted over the Union Pacific Railroad, via Omaha. The trains on that road are delayed somewhat, but are all moving. The Committee on Elections of the Federal House of Representatives has determined to recommend the seating of George Q. Cannon as Delegate in Congress from Utah; but before this recommendation is reported to the House, Cannon's friends will make desperate efforts to procure a reconsideration of the determination. Girls should be warned of the danger they run in marrying railroad brakesmen. An enthusiastic member of that fraternity, on being awakened the other night from a dream of an impending crash by a train, found himself sitting up in bed, holding his wife by the ears, having nearly twisted her head off in his frantic efforts to "down brakes." Detective Len Harris, who is at Battle Mountain, Nevada, engaged in protecting travelers by rail from monte sharps, was shot at, by one of the gang it is supposed, and narrowly escaped death. The powder from the weapon discharged at him burned his coat, so near was the would-be assassin, and the bullet hit a pocketbook in the breast pocket of his coat, and thus his life was saved. Roland Patterson, a colored man of almost gigantic size and great strength, died recently in Lancaster, Pa., of hemorrhage brought on by injuries received by performing some extraordinary feats of strength. He was almost seven feet in height, and in his best days frequently carried a barrel of flour under each arm, and could muddle put a hoghead of sugar on end. The Spanish Government has informed Germany that complete satisfaction will be given for the outrage on the brig Gustav immediately on receipt of full dispatches from its representative at Berlin. It is thought in Berlin that speedy repatriation will be made, because it is of great interest to the Spanish Government to deprive the opposition of the opportunity to attach it which forderned peace and unity. MODERNIZED DICTIONARY.—Some one whose experience has soured his disposition and made him cynical, has been supplying new definitions to old words with the following results: Honesty—A lost art. Murder—An obsolete term, once used by the ancients to indicate the transmigration of souls. Embezzlement—Spelt t-h-e-f-t in the dark ages, but altered to suit panic prices, and means wealth, joy, happiness, and singing all day long. Divorce—a patented machine for severing two limbs at a time. A handy article to have in the house when mortification sets in. Territory for sale. Children—An order of animals known and divided into various species viz: the brat species, the aged species, the duck species, the cub species, the kid species, the rooster species, and the whole species. Love—a windmill that shifts as often as the wind. Frequently utilized to draw water and spank babies. Happiness—a flax on the back of a dog that has lost its front teeth. Fame—a counterfeit bill on the top of a greased pole, which few obtain, and when obtained is found to be not worth the trouble. HAND LABOR AND MACHINE LABOR. A French author, M. Menier, says: "Homer shows us twelve slave women preparing meal with stone mills for the daily consumption of the heroes." Now, a woman working hard all day cannot make meal for more than twenty-five persons. Of course, then, in the heroic ages there must have been absorbed an enormous amount of capital paid out for labor. To-day, twenty millers in an ordinary establishment can produce, by means of machinery, flour enough for the daily consumption of 72,000 people or each man can feed 8,600 men. In Homer's time it would have taken 144 million. If all the machine-made cotton thread produced in England was turned out by hand, it would represent the individual labor of 91,000,000 of people. A smart woman can make eighty stitches a minute with her knitting needles, while a machine is working 480,000 stitches. The machine; then, represents 9000 work-women. The Spanish Government has informed Germany that complete satisfaction will be given for the outrage on the brig Guastan immediately on receipt of full dispatches from its representative at Berlin. It is thought in Berlin that speedy reparation will be made, because it is of great interest to the Spanish Government to deprive the opposition of the opportunity to attack it, which foreign reprisals and the Carlist would afford. A Fitchburg, Mass., conductor stopped his train the other morning for a woman who was rushing wildly after it. She thanked him warmly, especially remarked that she had forgotten to kiss her husband, made good omission, and then strolled home again. The conductor sarcastically asked the happy husband if the train should wait till he had sent for and kissed his mother-in-law, but receiving a mild negative, jerked his little bell. The standard for recruits for the army will, until further notice, be as follows: For artillery and infantry, five feet four inches and upward in height, and weigh not exceeding 125 pounds. This will not be applicable to musicians, or to recruits for colored regiments; the present regulations for enlisting whom will still remain in force. So says a War Department circular. When I was a boy there was but one permanent ambition among my comrades in our village on the west bank of the Mississippi river. That was to be a steamboat-man. We had transient ambitions of other sorts, but they were only translent. When all circumsame and went it left us all burning to become clowns; the firemen's minstrel show that came to our section left us all suffering to try that kind of life; now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good God would permit us to be pilgrims. These ambitions faded out, each in its turn; but the ambition to be "steamboatman remained." M. Touain.