anaheim-daily-herald 1921-12-29

HERALD EDITORIALS MONKEY GLANDS Naturally there was a purpose behind the advertising given the grafting of monkey or goat glands upon human tissue. The claims made in behalf of the process were manifestly absurd. The monkey is not a hardy creature. It dies under moderate hardship. Yet a gland from a monkey was to cause longevity, the return of youth, and set the old bones of humanity capering with the agility of a skeleton on a string. Naturally men, even desirous of defying the laws of nature, hesitated to make ridiculous display of themselves. The chaps who, to the accompaniment of banners and brass bands, submitted to the operation, doubtless profitd, but financially rather than physically. When interest had been aroused, there followed an announcement that the rejuvenating glands could be obtained in the form of pellet or potion. Thus the old man balanced precariously on the edge of life, might take his saving dosage in private, and come prancing back to juvenility, tossing aside his cruth and planning for the future as though there need be no end to the human span. Well, everybody is aware that one is born every minute. A GIFT TO THE WORLD President Harding says that the conference is making the "greatest contribution to peace and good will that has ever marked the Christmas time in all the Christian era." This sweeping statement may not be too sweeping nor too strong. Peace is the greatest boon the world could ask. With peace prevailing throughout the world, the fear of war removed, there would be the dawn of so brilliant a prosperity that the human mind hardly may conceive of... A GIFT TO THE WORLD President Harding says that the conference is making the "greatest contribution to peace and good will that has ever marked the Christmas time in all the Christian era." This sweeping statement may not be too sweeping nor too strong. Peace is the greatest boon the world could ask. With peace prevailing throughout the world, the fear of war removed, there would be the dawn of so brilliant a prosperity that the human mind hardly may conceive of the splendors of that day. To bring about peace is the one purpose of the conference. This is being done by adjusting disputes, making concessions, arriving at a basis of justice as the rule of rational conduct. The folly of war is plain enough to a world still mourning the brave who died in battle. A great burden of debt rests upon the nations. This debt is the reminder of war, that greatest and most malign of human follies. There is reason to believe that the conference will create a vast area of peace. Such an area might spread to embrace the people of all races. Even if nothing should be accomplished just at this time, but an amicable understanding among a group of the most powerful nations, that in itself would justify the high praise uttered by the President. THE REDS LOSE Two alien reds, notorious agitators, turned aside from their usual activities to commit robbery and murder. This occurred in Massachusetts. After necessary preliminaries the pair was sentenced to death, as seemed, and still seems, quite fitting. They sought a new trial. This has been denied. Probably the commonwealth feels that the two have caused more expense already than they are worth. Meanwhile this simple case centering about a pair of red assassins had become a world affair. Moscow heard of it and demanded their release. There were explosions of bombs in various diplomatic quarters indicating the displeasure of the communists, the bolshevists and the whole mess of "ists" engaged in promoting disturbance. Somewhat to the surprise of these persons perhaps, the judge, in setting forth reasons why no new trial should be granted, did not mention the fact that such demand had emanated from Moscow, and been re-echoed in a dozen places taking orders from that center of violence and insanity. The reds lose again. They always will lose in the long run; because law and order still prevail. Emma Goldman and her Berkman seem to be having a hard time. Just now they are in German territory, under orders to get out as quickly as possible. Even their beloved Russia fails to beckon for them. Emma knows now that the United States is not bad enough to bear witness to this event. emanated from Moscow, and been re-echoed in a dozen places taking orders from that center of violence and insanity. The reds lose again. They always will lose in the long run; because law and order still prevail. Emma Goldman and her Berkman seem to be having a hard time. Just now they are in German territory, under orders to get out as quickly as possible. Even their beloved Russia fails to beckon for them. Emma knows now that the United States is not as bad as painted by her in the dear, dead days for which she had grown pretty home-sick. Vanderbilt and Rockefeller have been ordered off certain railroad boards. Their presence there seems to be in conflict with the law. It may seem a radical view, and yet it is a fact that the law that applies to Smith and Jones is meant also to apply to the gentlemen mentioned. Men with cheerful dispositions are more inclined to borrow money than trouble. We Specialize In Welding We have a service car and can call for and deliver work. Anaheim Welding Co. "Anywhere—Any Place" 227 S. Clementine St... J. D. GUY General Building CONTRACTOR All Kinds of Brick and Cement Work—Bungalows a Specialty Plans and Satisfaction Estimates My Motto Furnished Phone 576 R. Res. 900 E. Center, Anaheim Between Ourselves By Della M. Stewart It's very foolish to be a mudbank. We're made for something far better. Every passing footprint, every chance contact quickly leaves its mark in mud. We all know people who are much the same. A careless word, a thoughtless opinion, and they are at once impressed. A chance suggestion can change the whole trend of their thought. They seem to have no settled convictions, no concrete beliefs. Thought-life with them is merely—mud—vague of shape and image, ready for instant change. Of course there's such a thing as being too strong minded, or so cock-sure and unyielding to outward influences that we're obstinate. But that's the extreme opposite. Every one who has worked much with others knows that the despair of the leader is the man or woman who is not to be demanded on; the one who starts out with vim and enthusiasm but when opposition is met with just as quickly drops away, or goes over to the other side. There's another variety of mudbank individual, also. There's the one who can immediately pass from sunshine to cloudiness if adverse criticism comes. Who is so highly supersensitive that the slightest sign of disapproval causes instant hurt. One such person can keep a whole family in hot water. The comfortable person to live with or to associate with is the person with a good stiff backbone; the one not oversensitive to praise or blame, the one not too easily influenced by the moods of others. Are we mudbanks, or firmer of mould? George Our Boy Reporter Mister Wallace up to the city hall sed Anaheim is goin Republican agen next time cause all the babies wich was borned this yeer wus mostly boys. They was 141 boys borned an only 112 girls this yeer so less nothin happens before new yeers nite it wood go Republican he sed. Girls is demercrats he sed cause they keep cryin all the time an dont what they want an when they get it they dont no when they got enuff. Mister Ahlborn whats postmaster for the Demmercrats is the best Demmercrat in the city jeess the same such as it is Judge Howard sed whats hed of the Republi-cans. Next summer they are goin to get reddy to commence to begin to start sumthin Judge Howard sed. jim dash Mister Ben Baxter wich used to be a pleeceman is makin sment pipes now. They aint the kind you smoke they are for runnin water threw an things like that. He made more in wun munth he sed than he made in a hull yeer on the pleece. jim dash I seen Cheef Stedman jess now an I sed I hope you have a happy new yeer cheef an he sed go ahed an it will be all rite with me. I dont gess he wus lissenin to what I sed. jim dash Mister Heying whats the chicken fancyer is goin to get a nuther wun now he sed. The cheef is also. jim dash Mister Dan Drake up to the Kafe-teria shoe store is a good old duck Mister Padden sed. Ducks dont eat supe. The cheef wun time sed it wusnt no duck supe gettin ads from Mister Harry Riley sum times cause you go up there an pretty soon Mister Riley he says wate-a minnit an I will be rite back an he goes to Los an forgets all a bout you. jim dash I ast Mister Thos, wus they goin to cut sum more water mellons up to the bank like they dun that time when the cheef sent me for sum wild goose chases an he sed we cut up our mellons July 1st and Jan. 1st George evry yeer rane an shine also. I gess they are canned mellons cause its two late for good wuns. Mister Thos, up to the Golden state nashnul I mien. thirty Little Stories for Bedtime By THORNTON W. BURÓESS (Copyright by J. G. Lloyd) MRS. GROUSE GETS INTO TROUBLE MRS. GROUSE is one of the little people of the Green Forest who always mind their own business before he can reach her, and whirr away into the trees. For two or three days Mrs. Grouse had been Little Stories for Bedtime By THORNTON W. BURGESS (Copyright by J. G. Lloyd) MRS. GROUSE GETS INTO TROUBLE MRS. GROUSE is one of the little people of the Green Forest who always 'mind their own business. She never interferes with other people, and so she is very much respected and very much liked by her neighbors. But Mrs. Grouse has her troubles. Oh, my, yes. Most of us do. In the summer she has to watch out for her large family, and a large family always means a great deal of worry. In the fall men with dreadful guns are forever hunting for her, and she has to be always on the watch to keep out of their way. In the winter food is sometimes scarce and she has to go hungry. And summer and winter she had always to watch out for Reddy and Granny Fox, Mr. Goshawk, and Hooty the Owl. All of them are very fond of grouse for dinner. The coming of Old Man Coyote to the Green Forest had added to her troubles. But Mrs. Grouse is very smart, and none of them ever had got more than before he can reach her, and whirr away into the trees. For two or three days Mrs. Grouse had hard work to get enough to eat. She had even had to leave the Green Forest, which she very much dislikes to do, and go over to the Old Orchard for some apple buds. She was thinking about this and wondering if she would have to do it the next day. It was getting dark in the Green Forest and she was preparing to go to bed, as usual, under the snow. It looked very much as if there would be more snow. Indeed, a few flakes were drifting down through the trees. "Well," thought Mrs. Grouse, "I will be all the safer if it does snow. It will fill up the hole I make." With that she plunged headfirst into the snow and soon was comfortable and warm and fast asleep. The snow sifted down through the trees and filled up the hole she had made, just as she had thought it would. But after a while the snow turned to a fine rain. Then along came rough Brother North Wind and Jack Frost and froze the wet snow into a hard crust. But Mrs. Grouse didn't know anything about this. She was sleeping warm and comfortable down underneath and dreaming of a great feast of the things she likes best. The crust froze harder and harder. Mrs. Grouse was in trouble, very great trouble, but she didn't know anything about it, and she wouldn't until morning. Next Story—Mrs. Grouse Wakes Up. Snap Shots By Henry James The Thing That Troubled Her Most Just Now Was Getting Enough to Eat one of her tail feathers. She felt quite able to take care of herself so far as they were concerned. The thing that troubled her most just now was getting enough to eat. You see, the Green Forest and the Green Meadows were covered deep with snow, and food was very, very scarce. She was able to get about very well, for Old Mother Nature had given her a splendid new pair of feather snowshoes, so that she could walk on the snow much easier than some of her neighbors. In fact, Mrs. Grouse rather liked the before he can reach her, and whirr away into the trees. A rich woman of New York hired a private secretary at $3,000 a month. The chap must have written an unusually beautiful hand. The conductor who broke a car window by slamming a robber through it will not be charged with the price of the glass. There are other big dams than the one above Pasadena, but they are not spelled the same way. A New York dancer has been sued for her restaurant bill, details of the account proving that the liking of a girl for lobsters is no joke. The dear: exclaimed Mr s. Beame. "He's trying so hard to talk!" "Yes; he talks that way all day, but he doesn't say anything," ventured Bobble, the five-year-old brother of the baby. "The baby is so much like his father." Mrs. Deare commented apropos of nothing, of course. A small boy, aged four, had just communicated the fact to his uncle that he had started on his school career. "Indeed," said his uncle, "why, you must be the youngest there." "Oh, no," answered the youngster in a very lofty manner, "there's another gentleman who comes in a perambulator." The average political orator who howls about the independent life of a farmer doesn't know an ox yoke from a horse collar. one of her tail feathers. She felt quite able to take care of herself-so far as they were concerned. The thing that troubled her most just now was getting enough to eat. You see, the Green Forest and the Green Meadows were covered deep with snow, and food was very, very scarce. She was able to get about very well, for Old Mother Nature had given her a splendid new pair of feather snowshoes, so that she could walk on the snow much easier than some of her neighbors. In fact, Mrs. Grouse rather liked the snow when it was not so deep that she could find nothing to eat. You see, Mrs. Grouse is not at all fond of sleeping in trees. She much prefers a comfortable bed on the ground. But there she always is in danger of being found by Reddy or Granny Fox. So she has learned to use the snow to keep her safe and warm. When it is bedtime she just plunges headfirst into the snow and then works along under it. Then if Reddy Fox should find the place where she went in and start to dig her out she will hear him, and with her stout wings burst out of the snow The chap must have written an unusually beautiful hand. The conductor who broke a car window by slamming a robber through it will not be charged with the price of the glass. There are other big dams than the one above Pasadena, but they are not spelled the same way. A New York dancer has been sued for her restaurant bill, details of the account proving that the liking of a girl for lobsters is no joke. Efforts to prove Burch insane tend to create belief that he has done something only permissible to the crazy. An accomplished footpad says that spooning couples are his easiest victims. A man with his head in the clouds can't concentrate on his pocketbook. The monetary value to be placed on the affections is something at which the jury in an alienation case has to guess. WITH THE JONESES—Well Said, Pa! HERALD THursday, December 29, 1921 SUPSCRIPTION RATES One Month by Carrier...$ .65 One Year by Mail...$4.00 One Month by Mail...$6.40 Entered at the Postoffice at Anaheim, California, as second-class matter. THE ONCE OVER By H. I. PHILLIPS PLAYFELLOW'S RACE. (The testimony in the case of this full brother of Man o' War was that he was a "cribber" or "windsucker" and that the volume of air he absorbed before a race interfered with his success in his only starts last June.) I. "Playfellow is a bet today!" (The word went round the track.) "The other hosses running...Say! They couldn't beat a hack!" I heard the tip from many lips And hastened to the race; And though I seldom fall for tips, I played him "straight and place." II. I never saw a finer horse. To look at, 'pon my word; And as he pranced upon the course Folks murmured: "He's a bird!" "He'll run so fast," one tout exclaimed. "He'll hide from all those plugs; He's got the whole darn bunch out-gamed; They're just a bunch of mugs." III. The barrier went shooting up; "They're off!" arose the cry; Playfellow, like a scooting pup, Flashed by my dazzled eye. And when he hit the furlong pole He still was running well... But suddenly (farewell bank roll!) THAT HORSE | BEGAN TO SWELL! IV. I noticed he was bulging out Directly in the middle; Until his figure looked about As grotesque as a fiddle. And when he reached the furlong pole The fact was most compelling That though it may seem very droll, Playfellow still was swelling! In whipping at this juncture The whip it cut a vicious groove— In other words a puncture! The stretch hits...the racers tore On tward the wire, goaded... BOOM!...BLAM!...A most unearthly roar— PLAYFELLOW HAD EXPLODED! L'ENVOI The moral of this tale CRUEL:— No race horse wins a treasure Who "cribs" and disregards the rule: "INFLATE TO TEN POUNDS PRESSURE!" PAPER NOW USED FOR MAKING PILING They are making piles of paper in California. On a long wooden cylinder a long roll of tarred paper with glued edges is wound and covered with cord. Over this another band of paper, much narrower, is wound diagonally like the bandage on a wounded arm. The cylinder is revolved while it is bound with more cord, hot glue being applied continuously. After three layers of paper have been put in place, the wooden cylinder is removed and the paper cylinder is reinforced with a coarse mesh. A mixture of cement and sand is squirted all over the cylinder with a force of two and one-half kilograms to the square centimeter, and several cylinders are joined end to end with the same cement so as to make a pile sixty feet long and from 18 to 30 inches in diameter. A square steel head is fitted over the top of each cylinder. edtime reach her, and whirr trees. three days Mrs. Grouse work to get enough to even had to leave the which she very much and go over to the Old some apple buds. She about this and wonder have to do it the as getting dark in the and she was preparing as usual, under the very much as if there snow. Indeed, a few tting down through the ht Mrs. Grouse, "I will r if it does snow. It hole I make." With headfirst into the was comfortable and asleep. ted down through the up the hole she had she had thought it er a while the snow fine rain. Then along other North Wind and froze the wet snow just. But Mrs. Grouse anything about this. She warm and comfortable and dreaming of a the things she likes froze harder and grouse was in trouble, able, but she didn't about it, and she morning. Mrs. Grouse Wakes Playfellow, like a scooting pup, Flashed by my dazzled eye. And when he hit the furlong pole He still was running well . . . But suddenly (farewell bank roll!) THAT HORSE | BEGAN TO SWELL! IV. I noticed he was bulging out Directly in the middle; Until his figure looked about As grotesque as a fiddle. And when he reached the furlong pole The fact was most compelling That though it may seem very deoll, Playfellow still was swelling! V. His flanks swelled out on either side; He swelled from stern to bow, sir, Until his breadth was twice as wide As any cornfed sow, sir. And with each stride he swelled some more Until his size was-double; I then knew I had fallen for A thing less horse than bubble! VI. Three furlongs! . . . he was swelling more! Four furlongs! . . . Oh, damnation! Playfellow showed amazing skill At chronic self-inflation! He now was like a big balloon Of most tremendous girth, sir, And presently that day in June He rose right off the earth, sir! VII. I called myself an awful simp As skyward he kept floating; He now looked like an army blimp And still he kept on bloating. The jockey, startled, set to work To reach the wire soonest (For he was never known to shirk As jockey or balloonist.) VIII. But, ah, he made a fatal move The Walnut Cafe and Confectionery "ANAHEIM'S NEWEST CAFE" Open For Business With Everything To Eat and Drink. WE NEVER CLOSE Laine & Hardacre 135 W. Center St. OPTOMETRIST WE NEVER CLOSE Laine & Hardacre 135 W. Center St. OPTOMETRIST Glasses Fitted Ten years a member of the North Dakota state board of examiners in optometry. Advanced optical knowledge together with twenty-three years' experience makes our name stand for SERVICE. Using the Vertex Lenses for testing together with the most scientific instruments on the market. Dr. WALTER R. BLAKELY — OPTOMETRIST — Office Over S. Q. R. Store Hours, Except Sunday 8 to 12; 1 to 5:30 Special Appointment By Request —By POP MOMAND. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE SOME SETTING UP EXERCISES? GREAT GUNS GAL! DON'T I SET UP EVERY NIGHT WAITIN' FOR THOSE POOR SAPS TO GO HOME THAT CALL ON YOU? POP MOMAND.